50 Secrets That People Will Never Tell Their Families

My congenital heart failure.

She's one of those people who makes other people's suffering about her, especially after I got a diagnosis for a hereditary health condition (that contributed heavily to the heart failure), because I likely inherited it from her. Every time I've mentioned offhand some complication of my health condition, she's usurped it and been like, "oh, I might have that too" and suddenly the convo is all about her. She does not have heart failure. If I tell her my aorta is slowly collapsing on itself, suddenly I'll have to listen to every little thing that has ever been weird about *her* heart.

My partner knows, my brother knows, I get regular echos, and my doctor and I have discussed treatments and palliative care plans. I'm not telling my mom about this until I'm on my death bed. I just want to be able to grieve my own health for once.

I have ADHD and ASD, and that’s why I was a ‘daydreamer’ and ‘oversensitive’ and ‘never lived up to your potential’. Turns out a massive IQ doesn’t compensate for developmental disorders.

For reasons completely unknown to me my mom sort of wrote me off as a teenager. Years later she died thinking I was some sort of construction worker. In reality, I had earned a college degree on my own and was the Director of Operations for an Engineering company.

She never bothered to ask so I never bothered to tell her.

How disappointed I am in them. They are both Trump supporters even after raising me to be an independent woman. Even after I adopted my black daughter. Even after I gave birth to my biracial daughter using IVF.

The amount of sadness, anger and disappointment I feel for them is sometimes overwhelming.

The amount of stress they put me through as a kid.

ElizibethBathory:
This right here. The first comment I had read and I can completely assimilate with that. I love how they all of a sudden develop “amnesia” when I bring some things up. “I don’t remember that…” so after that a few times I’ve just given up and worked on myself. You’re not alone. I feel you.

My parents bought me a book of World History filled with beautiful illustrations as a kid that I really loved.
I would read it constantly.

I never told them that a huge driving factor of that was that it had A LOT of nudity in it. Like t**s on every other page until they hit the renaissance.

Then again I did develop a life long love of reading and history, so mission accomplished?

I'm getting a vasectomy on Friday and they will never have grandchildren from me.

They think they pressured me into dropping a lawsuit against their “best friend”. They’re wrong. It’s still ongoing and I have zero regrets.

I (26f) moved to the UK to study. They don't know a boy (24m) moved to the UK with me. They don't know there's a boy. And we've been living together for 2 years now. And sharing bills and everything. Like we might as well be married.

Now they are trying to get me to talk to some boys they think would make a good fit for me - typical Indian arranged marriage s**t.

Gotta slide this boy in a planned conversation.

I’m a secret Christian no longer Muslim.

I am gay. I won't tell them because it might as well undo all the hard work I've done academically, professionally and physically. They won't see my accomplishments, but the fact I like other men. 
I'd rather stay in the closet than have a black cloud over every dinner and gathering. .

flyboy_za:
I feel you on this, my dude, as someone who was you for a long time.

Only difficulty is the long-term sustainability. The world is small. Someone you know who knows someone they know will see you somewhere and/or with someone, and you'll get a call one day Asking Difficult Questions.

You should probably have an honest talk with yourself about what your plan is for that day.

In my case, my family knew but nobody at work did. A colleague had a milestone birthday where I got to meet her niece who she always talks about. I had just started seeing a guy, and the day after that birthday party her niece ended up at another random birthday brunch which my dude happened to be at. They got to chatting and got along well, he added her on FB, she saw a pic of me and him, recognised me and asked who I was, and then mentioned it to her aunt a couple of days later, who cornered me at work. Not bad cornered, per se, just kinda "so my niece met your BF, I thought we were close enough that you'd feel comfortable to tell me you were gay, because you should know you don't have to hide it around me."

It's a very small world.

That I'm in therapy because of my upbringing. I genuinely went because I thought there was something wrong with me, turns out I was badly emotionally and physically a***ed my whole childhood.

Left the active Army in 2005. Couple of weeks later, got a call from a recruiter who wanted to send me to Baghdad on a contract for a few months. Told Mom (in Phoenix) that I'd be working in Tennessee (that's where the company HQ was). Got a box at a Mailboxes Etc. and told her it was my apartment number. Ended up staying in Baghdad for two years. Told her the company sent me on work trips to Europe every few months (actually just mandatory vacations to avoid burnout; stayed out of the US for tax purposes).

Came back to the US to work at the company HQ in Tennessee, "moved apartments". Joined the Reserves because, hey, why not, make a few bucks on the weekend. First drill: "We're deploying to Iraq in six months."

Called one of the Ugandans I worked with in Baghdad. "Hey, remember how my mom didn't know I was in Baghdad? Okay, send me pics of Uganda every week for the next year or so."

Called Mom. "Hey, the company's sending me to Uganda for a year. No, it's perfectly safe, I'll be working in Kampala, on a very secure compound. I'll make sure to send you pictures when I travel."

15 years later, she still doesn't know that I ever went to Iraq. I accidentally mentioned Amman once, years later, but played it off as being one of those work trips.

That I absolutely despise their political views.

They think i wrote fanfiction as a teenager then stopped. nope. i still write it as an adult, including...ahem...adult subject matter.

Pretty much my entire personal life.

Tundrakitty:
This for me too. My dad was very conservative and old-fashioned and I severely edited and omitted things in my life so that I could have a strained and unnatural relationship with him. I smiled and nodded a lot, the heathen that I am.

He missed out on learning about who is kids were and what they did. He didn’t have the capacity to accept much outside his limited worldview.

I have a cat. 🐈.

My husband and I are poly. Happily married for over a decade, I just know it would bother my mom to the point where she would bring it up all the time. She would assume, quite wrongly, that this is something my husband pushed for and that I'm a victim, And she would not listen to anything. I had to say that countered her narrative.

Jesus she's exhausting.

My parents broke up when I was a teenager and got back together a few years ago. I never got a chance to tell my mom that my dad was a little touchy with me in very inappropriate ways when I was a kid and I have no idea how to break it to her, or if its even necessary for me to bring it up since it's been so long.

I actually have been thinking about this a lot lately and it makes my head spin lol.

That I plan on ending my life once my money runs out. No intention of living when old and broke - I am not afraid of dying either. Going to enjoy the time I have left then leave this mortal coil with relief.