“This Would Ruin Her”: Men Confess The Deepest Secrets They Are Keeping From Their Partners

According to research, keeping secrets, whether from outsiders or close family members, is an overwhelmingly common practice. 

A good rule of thumb when it comes to secrets is to think about whether or not they directly impact your partner. If it’s something that deeply affects their life, you owe it to them to tell them whatever happened. However, if the secret is something negligible or even wholesome, then you have the choice to keep it to yourself. There’s also a difference between secrecy and privacy. There’s nothing to feel guilty about if you want to keep certain things private, even from your spouse.

Unless you’re a longtime practitioner of radical honesty and your social circle knows what to expect, being brutally open about every single thing you think and do might not be the wisest course of action. For one, it’d be exhausting to fill your partner in on every single detail. On top of that, no matter how much we all say how we value honesty, many of us don’t do well when someone’s overly blunt in their manner.

Now, that doesn’t mean that lying is excusable. But how you phrase something is often just as—if not more—important than the message itself.

Discussing important issues with your partner goes a lot smoother if you know how diplomatic or straightforward to be. Some folks respond better to subtlety. Others need to be told things ‘how they are’ without any sugarcoating.

Whenever you’re discussing these sensitive questions, it’s also invaluable if you practice active listening. This means not just waiting for your turn to speak, but genuinely focusing on what your partner is telling you and how they’re reacting to the info you’ve just shared. 

Meanwhile, if you want to avoid an all-out argument, try your best to focus on talking about the specific problem at hand. If you’re going to start attacking each other over every single mistake you’ve both made throughout your relationship, then you’ll never come to any sort of compromise.

Consider whether you want to be right or if your goal is to repair your relationship and solve whatever problem you have on the table in front of you.