There's a big difference between hiding something from the world for yourself and covering for other people.
Your own secrets can definitely haunt you, but someone else's dirty laundry can feel like a responsibility—or even a ticking time bomb you never asked for. Because sometimes the truth isn't just embarrassing or uncomfortable; it could cost a person their career, their marriage, or their freedom.
So, to relieve at least some of that pressure, one Reddit user asked the internet: "What's a secret you know about someone that would absolutely destroy their life if it ever came out?"
The thousands of replies prove that sharing anonymously behind a screen might be the closest thing to a confession in a situation like this.
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#1
Towards the end of a relationship’ I started secretly recording the violent anger outbursts I received from my ex. He has a butter wouldn’t melt image and was able to turn a lot of people against me. I think about hiring a big projector screen and inviting a load of his friends, family and work colleagues.
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37points
#2
My previous boss wanted to show me pictures on his phone of his vacation to France, he opens the camera roll and the first thing I see is a series of pictures of him posing in the mirror wearing a bikini, it was a split second but we both know what happened. He pretended it never happened…I pretended I didn’t see anything. The following months he would awkwardly always find a way to join the conversation if he sees me chatting with people in the office or during a happy hour.
Just to make it clear I couldn’t care less if he likes to cross dress or not and I don’t think this is something to be ashamed of…he never tried to portray himself as an alpha guy or anything but he is a quiet serious guy in his mid 50s.
Just to make it clear I couldn’t care less if he likes to cross dress or not and I don’t think this is something to be ashamed of…he never tried to portray himself as an alpha guy or anything but he is a quiet serious guy in his mid 50s.
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26points
Keeping secrets does not automatically make you a bad person. In fact, it's perfectly normal. American psychologist Dr. Michael Slepian is the author of The Secret Life of Secrets: How Our Inner Worlds Shape Well-Being, Relationships, and Who We Are. According to his research, people keep multiple secrets at any given time—at least on average.
For one study, Slepian and his team asked a couple of thousand people, "What is a secret you're currently keeping right now?" They then looked at the responses, analyzed the themes, and identified 38 common categories. The researchers gave this list to another group of people and, sure enough, 97% of them said they currently had at least one of the secrets from the list. The average person had 13, five of which they had never told anyone.
#3
Mentioned it before but I know a married couple who are half siblings. Overheard the drunk parents talking about it one night. By that point they were already married and I know they can't have kids so why rock the boat. It's more the fact the two parents knew before the wedding and didn't say anything that threw me.
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25points
#4
Nearly 20 years ago, I was working in a massage parlour (yes, that kind), to help pay for university. One evening, I hear the door open, in walks a man in a trenchcoat stinking of cologne. It was my professor. Who got married maybe a month before.
He played stupid and said 'Oh, I'm looking for uh... the Chinese restaurant?' (There was a Chinese restaurant next door, but with a very obvious entrance)
I've never seen someone flee so fast in their life.
Yes, I did finish that course with an A. LMAO.
He played stupid and said 'Oh, I'm looking for uh... the Chinese restaurant?' (There was a Chinese restaurant next door, but with a very obvious entrance)
I've never seen someone flee so fast in their life.
Yes, I did finish that course with an A. LMAO.
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25points
#5
A close friend miracle baby after years of fertility struggles is actually the neighbor’s. Her husband has no idea, but the kid is starting to look identical to the guy next door.
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24points
Slepian told the American Psychological Association's podcast 'Speaking of Psychology' that the most popular secrets include telling a lie and not wanting it to become known. Romantic desire—while you're not in a relationship—is also a very common one.
"What's so difficult about just simply having a secret, a secret that you might not ever have to hide in conversation—if it's something you care about, or if it's something that's bothering you, to choose to be alone with that thing tends to not help," Slepian explained.
"We tend to not develop the healthiest ways of thinking about these struggles we keep entirely to ourselves, and so even whether you're hiding it frequently or not, your mind is going to return to this thing time and time again, and you're not going to know what to do with it."
#6
Soon after my marriage, we found out My MIL was having an affair with my brother...😳🤨.
23points
#7
I was a newspaper journalist — back when there were newspapers. In a bar once, I bumped into a prominent local real estate developer. We started chatting, had a few (more) drinks.
He tells me about his yacht, which he sails around the world. He particularly likes Thailand.
Oh, why?
Because life is cheap there. You can get a girl — young, never been touched before — and do anything you want for $50, maybe $100 if she’s really young.
I finished my drink and got the hell out. Never told anybody about it. Figured he’d deny it, say the paper’s out to get him.
EDIT: Lots of accusatory comments asking why I didn’t report him.
First, this happened 35 years ago, when I was in my mid 20s. I was stunned, never having heard human trafficking. The awareness campaigns of the past several years are doing their job.
Second, report to whom? American law enforcement has no jurisdiction in Thailand. To the person who mentioned Googling a Thai tipline: This was in the 80s. Very few people were online.
Third, my word against his. I was a reporter in a small city making $25,000, who’d be accusing a multimillionaire of godawfulness. Who’s winning that conflict?
To the person who said I should’ve recorded his admission: I didn’t have my cassette recorder on me, not anticipating the need in a bar. Again, this was 20 years before smartphones existed outside of sci-fi.
Fourth, I have no idea whether the guy is still alive. He was in his late 50s then, so he’d be in his 90s now. I haven’t been back to that city since moving on a little after.
Finally, I have to admit some moral failure. I should have found a way to bring his activities to light. I accept that now. Then, it was easier to shake my head and go on.
He tells me about his yacht, which he sails around the world. He particularly likes Thailand.
Oh, why?
Because life is cheap there. You can get a girl — young, never been touched before — and do anything you want for $50, maybe $100 if she’s really young.
I finished my drink and got the hell out. Never told anybody about it. Figured he’d deny it, say the paper’s out to get him.
EDIT: Lots of accusatory comments asking why I didn’t report him.
First, this happened 35 years ago, when I was in my mid 20s. I was stunned, never having heard human trafficking. The awareness campaigns of the past several years are doing their job.
Second, report to whom? American law enforcement has no jurisdiction in Thailand. To the person who mentioned Googling a Thai tipline: This was in the 80s. Very few people were online.
Third, my word against his. I was a reporter in a small city making $25,000, who’d be accusing a multimillionaire of godawfulness. Who’s winning that conflict?
To the person who said I should’ve recorded his admission: I didn’t have my cassette recorder on me, not anticipating the need in a bar. Again, this was 20 years before smartphones existed outside of sci-fi.
Fourth, I have no idea whether the guy is still alive. He was in his late 50s then, so he’d be in his 90s now. I haven’t been back to that city since moving on a little after.
Finally, I have to admit some moral failure. I should have found a way to bring his activities to light. I accept that now. Then, it was easier to shake my head and go on.
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20points
#8
My ex spouse has no idea he has another child. He’s not good to our own children, so I keep that business to myself and respect the mother’s wishes. It’s not my place. I keep in touch with her though. She’s a wonderful mom.
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20points
Slepian also added that, "If someone confides a secret in you and you have totally overlapping social networks, you're now essentially keeping the secret for them, too, or if only certain people are allowed to know, it can get burdensome really quickly. But if it's something that's not directly relevant to some folks in your shared social network, it's not as difficult."
Another person's secret becomes burdensome when it's something we find ourselves turning to time and time again. But there's a good side to it, too. The psychologist said we feel glad that other people feel comfortable confiding in us. We see that as an active intimacy that brings us closer together.
#9
My sister's husband is a fake veteran. He does the whole stolen valor thing to get free meals and discounts. Claims he was "medically discharged". But my uncle has a nephew on his side of his family that works for homeland security. AND! My uncle on my mom's side works trains military police. Both have multiple connections and through some secret side snooping they both uncovered that my sister's husband, in fact, was not medically discharged but kicked out of basic training for consuming substances on base. He never saw combat, never went over seas, never even left the state he was training in. I've been keeping this for a rainy day when I need to use it.
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19points
#10
My uncle groomed me while he was babysitting me and tried to get me to talk to men in chat rooms before I could even read.
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17points
#11
An old boss (who still owns and operates the same company) once confessed to me that his accountancy firm are blackmailing him. He used to own a couple of companies and casually transferred money between them and to himself in a way that’s definitely not legal. His accountancy firm basically stopped doing their job so he told them that he was going to find someone else. And they said “well, that’s perfectly within your rights. However, we’re deliberately not looking into the suspicious activity on dates x, y, z, etc., etc., etc. When we hand over documents to any new firm we will absolutely have to disclose all of this. Let us know where we should send the paperwork…”.
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16points
#12
Friend of mine is a pastor at a megachurch, one of the biggest in the city.
On the side, he is the most degenerate furry artist out there. Drawing some of the most shocking stuff in a fanbase that is already shocking in itself. Only I and 3 others know about his online furry life since it's our friend group from high school.
Apparently the guy makes bank off it too cause even back in our 20's it was his full time job while we were all suffering at retail and getting through college. We are in our 30's now and he never stopped. He has an absolutely monstrous twitter following.
On the side, he is the most degenerate furry artist out there. Drawing some of the most shocking stuff in a fanbase that is already shocking in itself. Only I and 3 others know about his online furry life since it's our friend group from high school.
Apparently the guy makes bank off it too cause even back in our 20's it was his full time job while we were all suffering at retail and getting through college. We are in our 30's now and he never stopped. He has an absolutely monstrous twitter following.
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16points
#13
Not now as it has came out but I knew a friend ( she was my best friend ) was having an affair. I was in deep with her did everything together so to my shame I kept it secret. A few years later her partner got a critical illness and she decided she didn’t want to look after a disabled man so she left him for the affair partner. It had been going on all the time. I heavy distance myself from her I don’t speak to her at all. I speak to the ex partner he comes to my house for meals a lot.
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16points
#14
I'm a night shift taxi driver in a beachside town. There aren't many cabs here, and no Uber presence, so you get to know the regular taxi users.
This town turns into a massive party every weekend. People go nuts on booze and blow. The number of times I've driven someone to a hotel/motel/house that is not theirs, with someone who I *know* is not their spouse ...
I rarely get involved with this kind of stuff. These people are my customers, not my friends, no matter how friendly I may be with them. Statistically, many of them are cheating, and cheating regularly; but I also have no way of knowing whether individuals may be in open relationships, or swingers, or whatever. Not my business to know, not my business to ask.
This town turns into a massive party every weekend. People go nuts on booze and blow. The number of times I've driven someone to a hotel/motel/house that is not theirs, with someone who I *know* is not their spouse ...
I rarely get involved with this kind of stuff. These people are my customers, not my friends, no matter how friendly I may be with them. Statistically, many of them are cheating, and cheating regularly; but I also have no way of knowing whether individuals may be in open relationships, or swingers, or whatever. Not my business to know, not my business to ask.
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15points
#15
I know a lot about behind the corruption of a large bank, multiple people involved and how they are cheating the system and also technically the customers - I plan on whistleblowing everything when I quit.
Also aware of a friend who cheats on his wife and they have a son, I live in a different city so we aren’t super close, I’ve told him off before but he suffers from wandering eye syndrome. Poor woman, she’s a beautiful kind and intellectual, definitely deserves more.
Also aware of a friend who cheats on his wife and they have a son, I live in a different city so we aren’t super close, I’ve told him off before but he suffers from wandering eye syndrome. Poor woman, she’s a beautiful kind and intellectual, definitely deserves more.
15points
#16
I know a MAGA Congressman that is secretly gay and *prefers* trans-women.
It'd be hilarious in its absurdity if it wasn't so cliche and hateful.
It'd be hilarious in its absurdity if it wasn't so cliche and hateful.
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15points
#17
My Dad is on someone's birth certificate as their Father, but my Uncle is the actual Dad. At 17 I learned my dad had an older son. I thought it meant I had an older brother I never knew about and wasn't allowed to ask about, but my mom told me the truth a few months before I turned 18.
My dad and his siblings got put in foster care for awhile when my Nan had a mental breakdown and stayed in the hospital for a bit. This was back in the 80s. They split all the siblings up except for my dad and youngest uncle. They landed in the house of an older woman who was married but it was one of those marriages that was for money and not actually being in love. They lived in a mansion type home in the richer areas of New Jersey. During that time, my uncle who was underage in his early teens, started an 'affair' with their foster mom. He got her pregnant and because my dad was closer to 18 the foster mom convinced him to put his name on the birth certificate so she wouldn't get in trouble. She paid both my dad and uncle money for the situation. She raised the child, my dad had no part of the kids life other than keeping the secret, and my uncle went through life playing along as a brother to his own child.
It was weird too, because the foster mom is still around the family today. She gets invited to family functions, funerals, weddings. She's paid for homes for my uncle, gives him a 10k allowance every month, etc. I've never personally met her son, but he also comes to family functions and my uncles kids even treat him like a close cousin. Once I learned that, a lot of the other messed up stuff in the family came to light, but like, this was the wildest in my opinion. Everyone doesn't see an issue with it and just calls it an affair. I don't care if my uncle started it, she was a grown adult knowing he was only 13.
Yeah so, foster mom seduced underage uncle, had kid, my dad took the father role to keep his brother safe and get some money, and my uncle gets money and basically a free ride the whole rest of his life so long as he keeps his mouth shut about his 'brother'.
My dad and his siblings got put in foster care for awhile when my Nan had a mental breakdown and stayed in the hospital for a bit. This was back in the 80s. They split all the siblings up except for my dad and youngest uncle. They landed in the house of an older woman who was married but it was one of those marriages that was for money and not actually being in love. They lived in a mansion type home in the richer areas of New Jersey. During that time, my uncle who was underage in his early teens, started an 'affair' with their foster mom. He got her pregnant and because my dad was closer to 18 the foster mom convinced him to put his name on the birth certificate so she wouldn't get in trouble. She paid both my dad and uncle money for the situation. She raised the child, my dad had no part of the kids life other than keeping the secret, and my uncle went through life playing along as a brother to his own child.
It was weird too, because the foster mom is still around the family today. She gets invited to family functions, funerals, weddings. She's paid for homes for my uncle, gives him a 10k allowance every month, etc. I've never personally met her son, but he also comes to family functions and my uncles kids even treat him like a close cousin. Once I learned that, a lot of the other messed up stuff in the family came to light, but like, this was the wildest in my opinion. Everyone doesn't see an issue with it and just calls it an affair. I don't care if my uncle started it, she was a grown adult knowing he was only 13.
Yeah so, foster mom seduced underage uncle, had kid, my dad took the father role to keep his brother safe and get some money, and my uncle gets money and basically a free ride the whole rest of his life so long as he keeps his mouth shut about his 'brother'.
15points
#18
I have a friend who has an adult child that doesn't belong to her husband. It's so obvious too, he has dark hair and brown eyes, the child is pale, red head and bright blue eyes. Mom also has dark hair and eyes. Her first cousin has bright red hair and blue eyes. I know they were doing the deed during that time as I caught them in a car at a bowling alley and was making fun of them for it. lol We were both 18 at the time so i was certainly mocking her and then the pregnancy test was positive. First words out of her mouth was oh, gotta find a man to blame this on... cue meeting a guy at that same bowling alley a few weeks later and boom, she had an instant baby daddy. Still together 25 yrs later. Crazy stuff. Surely this dude must know by now, his biological kids look very different. She just tells him that the oldest looks like her cousin, because she does, she is his cousins. Bonkers.
14points
#19
My extremely homophobic ex is bi. I didnt mind he was bi, but the homophobia was disgusting.
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13points
#20
Every time my sister meets new groups of people (uni, work, friends) she tells them that she has a twin sister. She uses the twin as an excuse, not to say hi, not to stop and not to talk to people, etc. She also impersonates her twin.
Except that she does not have a twin!!!
I only know about this because once at uni, a friend of hers that I barely knew came to say how sorry she was that our twin sister had been ill and passed away. I confronted my sister and she admitted she had this elaborate web of lies going and was using it to get out to anything she did not want to do including some exams. W*f.
Except that she does not have a twin!!!
I only know about this because once at uni, a friend of hers that I barely knew came to say how sorry she was that our twin sister had been ill and passed away. I confronted my sister and she admitted she had this elaborate web of lies going and was using it to get out to anything she did not want to do including some exams. W*f.
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13points