As you know, the road to hell is paved almost exclusively with good intentions, and if someone demands something from you, motivating their request solely by caring for other people, it is likely that they are trying to manipulate you. Especially if they are older relatives, who, of course, always know better how to do the right thing in literally any situation.
More often than not, this concern for the well-being of others is based on ordinary personal motives. But after all, people are ashamed to seem selfish, so they skillfully disguise their selfishness under prudence. But one has only not to follow their lead, as this mask immediately flies off, and a usual selfish person appears.
As, for example, it was in the situation described in this very post in the AITA Reddit community, which gained around 7.3K upvotes and more than 1.5K various replies. Remarkably, the author of the original post was precisely the manipulator, who could not even get why they were, after all, wrong.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster was invited to their niece's destination wedding which had to be held on Sunday
Image credits: Robert Kinter ( not the actual image)
So here is how it was. The Original Poster's niece invited all her friends and relatives to her destination wedding, which was supposed to take place about three hours from the city where the OP lives. The problem, from the OP's point of view, was that the wedding was scheduled for Sunday - so they would have to skip their work on the next day.
Image credits: u/Efficient-Key-7476
The OP wasn't happy to skip work on the next day so they RSVP'd "no"
The OP admits that they would not like to skip work at all, so they decided to get the opinion of their relatives. The OP's son and his girlfriend both said they would go anyway - although the OP begged them to refuse, claiming that the niece was doing everything wrong and it would just be a waste of money.
Image credits: u/Efficient-Key-7476
The son just said that he would take a day off at work, but the OP didn't like that. They had RSVP'd no, but still they could not help but email the bride that it was completely wrong and disrespectful for her guests to schedule a wedding at such an inconvenient time and place.
Image credits: u/Efficient-Key-7476
In a phone call, the OP tried to convince their niece to reschedule the ceremony
The niece called the OP and apologized for the inconvenience, and also asked if they were sure they would not be able to attend the ceremony. The OP, apparently, felt weak and began to demand that she reschedule the wedding. The niece, in response, stated this is a special date for her and her fiancé, so they are not going to change anything anyway - although they understand it will be rather inconvenient for some guests to come.
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic ( not the actual image )
In response, the OP claimed the niece simply does not respect any of the guests and relatives, that she and the groom will end up having no more than ten guests at their ceremony, so this is actually outrageous, as the girl is neglecting the comfort and convenience of her guests due to some special little date of hers.
Image credits: u/Efficient-Key-7476
The relatives ended up with an argument as the OP behaved just like an entitled person
Of course, the bride could not stand such a turn of events. She, in angry and sometimes curse words, stated that this was just a matter for her and her fiancé - and since the OP refused to come, then let them sit at home and not interfere with their judgments.
Image credits: u/Efficient-Key-7476
Everybody, even the OP's own son, supported the bride and told the OP that they crossed the line
Now it was the OP's turn to get angry - they called their sister and complained about her daughter's rudeness. True, even here everything did not turn out the way the OP expected as the sister fully backed her daughter. Moreover, the OP's son also said that they crossed the line and acted like a real jerk.
Image credits: Tony Alter ( not the actual image)
Commenters unanimously noted that it's not the OP's business so they just need to get over themselves
Of course, the OP was not supported by the people in the comments either. They almost unanimously noted that this is their niece's wedding, and she just sets her own rules. If the OP has already refused to attend the ceremony, then this will not affect their life in any way. So they just need to get over themselves and be better.
One of the commenters said that they also had their wedding on Sunday. First, it's cheaper, and second, as they're Jews, they couldn't get married on Saturday. So basically it's none of the OP's business anyway, and all they can do in this situation is to send their regrets and just move along instead of being completely entitled and manipulative.
We're pretty sure you already have an opinion on this tale, so please let us know in the comments as soon as possible. And if you also had to deal with entitled relatives - just tell us how it was and how it all ended.
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