Disheveled hair, coke bottle glasses, suspiciously off-white scrubs, and not a single grain of humor—do you still have this notion in your mind when thinking about scientists? Well, not only are they actually perfectly capable of combing their hair and washing their lab coats, but more often than not, they could blow you away with their clever jokes. You know, in reality, having the smarts relates closely to having a great sense of humor! Although their science jokes might be a bit nerdy, a bit kooky, or hardly understandable without some scientific background, they are nevertheless close to genius. Some of them cover the life achievements of famous scientists, others make subtle fun of Mendeleev’s table of elements and some are purely based on some rather suspicious sciency terms. A joke for everyone, really!
For instance, while helium is already inherently funny (just look at helium balloons… aren’t they just amazing and hilarious at the same time?) it’s still even more fun when there’s a clever pun or two attached to the name. Or how about Pavlov’s experiments—are you already salivating for a joke (ba-dum tss)? Let’s not forget such curiosities as minerals, the wondrous qualities of neutrons, or even mysterious parallel universes—how exciting is that!?
To awaken your inner scientist, or to gloat about just how smart you are for getting each of these jokes, scroll just a bit further down to see our list of hand-picked science jokes. We do not guarantee that you will be able to put your phone down after you’ve finished, since there are quite a few instances where helium is mentioned. Get it? Anyway, just have a go at these smart jokes, vote for the ones that you liked the best, and share this article with your friends, neighbors, and the girl you once met.
#1

Why don’t aliens visit our Solar System?
They read the reviews – just one star.
unknown
Report230points
#2
I was going to tell a joke about sodium, but Na.
unknown
Report166points
#3
A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
“What do we want?”
“Time travel.”
“When do we want it?”
“Irrelevant.”
“What do we want?”
“Time travel.”
“When do we want it?”
“Irrelevant.”
unknown
Report157points
#4

How much room do fungi need to grow?
As mushroom as possible.
unknown
Report149points
#5
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
unknown
Report142points
#6
There are only bad science jokes left.
All the good ones argon.
unknown
Report136points
#7
Do you know the name Pavlov?
It rings a bell.
unknown
Report135points
#8
What does one tectonic plate say when it bumps into another?
“Sorry. My fault!”
unknown
Report127points
#9
There’s a new theory on inertia, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.
unknown
Report122points
#10

How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
unknown
Report122points
#11
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
unknown
Report116points
#12
If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0.
unknown
Report115points
#13
There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary and those who don’t.
unknown
Report113points
#14
What does a subatomic duck say?
Quark.
unknown
Report105points
#15

Why did the bacteria fail the math test?
He thought multiplication was the same as division.
unknown
Report105points
#16
What did one decimal say to the number?
“Did you get my point?”
unknown
Report103points
#17
They have just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes.
unknown
Report97points
#18

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.
unknown
Report94points
#19
An infectious disease walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.”
It replies, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”
The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.”
It replies, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”
unknown
Report92points
#20
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
unknown
Report85points




