#1
Blake Lively and her co-stars made gossiping look cool back in the mid-2000s when they acted in the hit series Gossip Girl. If you're unfamiliar with the show, it follows a group of ultra-elite, hyperprivileged Manhattan private-school teens kids who seem to get away with anything and everything. But there's an anonymous blogger watching their every move... and broadcasting it to the world.
While the series had people glued to their screens, waiting for the latest gossip and scandal to be revealed, in real life, rumors can be extremely harmful and even dangerous.
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If you thought 21 jump street was unrealistic think again. Cop was a 33 year old male and undercover for like half the semester.
Experts warn that gossip and rumors can destroy someone’s self-confidence and self-esteem, lead to depression, thoughts of self-harm, eating disorders, anxiety, and a host of other issues.
Gossip and rumors are similar but not the same. "Rumors are pieces of information or stories that have not been verified, meaning the person telling the story does not know for certain if it is true or not. Whereas gossip is usually an embarrassing personal detail shared to incite shock," explains Sheri Gordon, an author, Certified Professional Life Coach, and Bullying Prevention Advocate.
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I know the rumor is true because the kid was me.
#6
This was in 2010 in NY, so it wasn't even some redneck podunk town. It was just a bunch of s****y homophobic suburban parents encouraging their s****y homophobic kids.
Gordon says that rumors are typically spread from person to person and, like broken telephone, can change slightly each time they are told. As a result, she says, they can become exaggerated and altered over time.
"Rumors can involve just about any topic and often run the gamut," adds the expert. "Most of the time, people who spread rumors do not bother to determine if there is any truth to what they are saying."
Gossip, on the other hand, usually involves shocking or personal details about someone, and is spread behind their back. "Gossip almost always causes pain and humiliation," warns Gordon.
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#8
He literally cut a hole in the ceiling of a closet within a closet and snuck a mini fridge up there. Only got caught when he plugged too many things in and caused power issues in the school. They had an inspector come in to find the issue and he was like, "Why's there an extension cord going up into the ceiling?"
Kid got wind of it and managed to clear everything out (had a rug, chair, lamp, and other stuff in addition to the mini fridge) by the end of the day. They still caught him a few days later, but it was impressive.
#9
Girl in my high school got into a very bad car accident and was in the hospital in a full body cast for a very long time. During that time her boyfriend somehow managed to get her pregnant and she later had an abortion. Years after high school I became friends with someone who was her best friend in high school. She told me that it wasn't the first time this boyfriend had gotten her pregnant or that she had had an abortion. Also there was some controversary over whether the hospital s*x was consensual or not. Also her parents had to pay a lot of money for her to get therapy.
Also in high school there was this kid I viewed as an arrogant punk. He always had a ton of money and was into photography (apparently his father was a professional photographer). The rumor was that he was paying a lot of money to the hottest girls in our school to pose n**e for him "Penthouse-style". At the time I had seen Playboys but no Penthouses and didn't realize that the poses in Penthouse were a little more explicit. I ran into him a couple of decades later and we went to a nearby bar to have some drinks. He seemed very humble at this point as if life had and grinded him down. He admitted to me that he had become an alcoholic. I told him about the rumor and he confirmed it, saying his father had put him up to it and that his father was the one who wanted the pictures and that was why his father gave him so much money. After his father died he inherited all his stuff and while going through some boxes he ran across the pictures. He destroyed them immediately not wanting get caught with them because they were of underage girls.
So why do teenagers (and adults) engage in this harmful behavior? Experts say there are several reason some people love to gossip or spread rumors...
One is to make cover up their own shortfalls. "When people feel bad about themselves, they sometimes target other people to try to make themselves feel better," Gordon explains. "As a result, they talk about others to deflect attention from themselves."
Another is to be part of the circle, fit in, or be seen as cool. They may feel like they won't be accepted if they don't join the nasty rumor mill, and often, says Gordon, peer pressure plays a big part in spreading rumors or gossip.
Australian educator, writer, speaker, and consultant Linda Stade says for some kids, gossip is a form of currency. "The amount of information you have about others is a measure of how connected you are," she explains. "Connection is status."
#10
Later on, I was assigned to be the agent taking care of some of his financial matters, so I went to his house to have him sign some paperwork. He had a hydroponic setup there, so I asked him about the environmental lab. It was like Han Solo in The Force Awakens.
“It’s true. All of it.” Then he offered me a brownie.
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I actually made friends with her because we both walked the mile in PE, and I felt bad that people were spreading this rumor and making fun of someone who obviously is trying to better themselves for their baby.
Well, turns out, it was actually her 5th kid. She had one set of twins at the age of 13. Then at 14 she was trying to be a mother of 2 and finish 9th grade, but she got pregnant again and dropped out. I realize now that the entire situation was very concerning. I hope she got some guidance.
Some people spread rumors or gossip purely for clout.
"When teens know a secret that nobody else knows or are the first person in the group to hear a rumor, they become the center of attention," explains Gordon. "As a result, kids who are trying to fit in or climb the social ladder might use gossip and rumors as tools to gain popularity."
Then there are the power-hungry gossipers. These people will go to great lengths to be be in control, even if it means putting others down.
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Edit: Well I kind of expected this to stay buried but here we are! To clear up the mysteries still remaining and elaborate a bit: 1) Grand Valley State University in Grand Rapids, MI (but the tunnels are under the main campus in Allendale). 2) Can confirm they were maintenance and steam tunnels, some older sections may have doubled as b**b shelters. As a student I had a job that allowed me to request keys to pretty much anywhere on campus without question. The first time I found the tunnels was because I opened a door labeled "Maintenance" in the basement of a dorm, and found myself staring down an incredibly long corridor.
For my GV brothers and sisters who are on campus now, look for the big metal cylinders scattered throughout campus that look like huge central AC units or HVAC related. You'll sometimes here fan sounds coming from them. Those are access points/vents to the tunnel system. Off the top of my head, I know there's one outside Mackinac Hall, one outside Kirkhoff if you enter by the clock tower, and one outside the back entrance to the music building. There's dozens more, but it's been a while. Happy hunting!
Gordon notes that some people indulge in gossip simply because they're bored. They need drama and get a first-class ticket to the rumor mill in order to add some spice to their lives.
"As hard as teachers try to make their lessons enthralling, the most interesting thing about school for most kids is…other kids. When something notable happens, it is discussed. If nothing notable happens, stories become embellished," says Stade.
Gordon cites a study, which found that people’s natural curiosity can cause them to seek information even when it is not useful for them personally. Getting their hands (or ears) on that information brings about warm, fuzzy feelings.
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#18
One of our history teachers once showed us a documentary about the early years of the Troubles, mainly the Civil Rights Movement. And sure enough, in the film, you can see our English teacher standing holding a rifle without even a mask on him. At that point it wasn't really a secret anymore.
IRA membership was supposed to be secret, but if you were in it everyone knew about. The fact his membership was confirmed with that video always made me laugh
*Edit*
Was not expecting this to take off the way it did overnight. So here's a bit more context.
This happened over 20 years ago
The school is in the north of Ireland, in a republican area. A lot of people (myself included) would have had relatives involved with the IRA and/or INLA. For example, the father of one of the boys, in my year at school, was a genuine local legend because of what he had done during the 70s when he was 'on the run'. Other people would have been very close relations to a few of the Hunger Strikers, who died in 1981. Everyone and I mean everyone would personally know a member of those organisations, even if they weren't related to one. What I'm saying here is, the IRA were an entirely normal part of our society. The vast majority of people would have seen them as legitimate and no different to how other normal societies would view their police and armed forces.
So, whenever we seen our teacher in the video no one was shocked, or anything like that - everyone already had an idea that he'd been a member. We just thought it was funny that he wasn't wearing a mask.
A more sinister reason that some people spread rumors is to seek revenge. Whether out of jealousy, or in response to something the person did to them, they use gossip and false stories to hurt or get back at someone. As far as the gossiper is concerned, the other person deserves it.
Stade says it's important to teach children the dangers of spreading rumors or gossiping. This also means educating them on not indulging in it. They can learn to speak up against gossip, or even say nothing at all...
“When someone is gossiping, look away and don’t say anything. Don’t smile or nod. Say nothing and then change the subject,” advises Stade.
#19
I went to a Catholic school and I've never seen a stronger argument for providing free condoms to teenagers. None of these kids were poor. They could've gone and bought their own prophylactics any time they wanted, but they just didn't bother.
#20
The rumor was that they were sleeping with each other, because people would see them doing things after school, like running together and go out to eat somewhere. These rumors were later blew off as nothing because even though he was the principal, he still devoted his time to an after school jogging/running class to help students and teachers stay active and keep in shape and buying dinner at McDonald’s for a student isn’t the same as taking them somewhere more extravagant like steakhouse.
After I came back as a junior from summer break. Everyone in are class and in the entire school found out that they both got married and were expecting their first child together. He was married with children from a previous marriage that ended after the girl graduated from high school.