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Man took the Official Secrets Act seriously!
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One of the leading experts on the psychology of secrets, psychologist Michael Slepian, and his colleagues have found that the most common secrets are related to (in this order) lies told to significant others, having romantic desires while single, money, and personal finances.
Evan Imber-Black, professor of marriage and family therapy, explains that “people keep secrets for all kinds of reasons, but mainly to protect relationships, themselves, or others. Secrets become harmful when a relationship is injured or when it haunts the secret holder.”
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Well, at least we know he had a type.
Even though hiding something is common, it often comes at a cost. Evidence from Slepian's studies suggests that concealing information results in lower life satisfaction and quality relationships and even manifests in poor psychological and physical health.
However, the effect doesn’t come from the stress or anxiety of keeping a secret, but rather from the feelings associated with shame, isolation, and inauthenticity.
“The hard part of having a secret is not that you have to hide it, but that you have to live with it, alone in your thoughts,” Slepian says. “These experiences can leave us feeling helpless, and holding a secret back in conversation is just a small slice of the pain and stress caused by secrets."
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Meanwhile, people who reveal their hidden truths tend to be healthier than those who chronically keep them tucked away. More likely than not, people will react positively to being confided in. It might take a dash of courage, but disclosing secrets can make a person feel instantly better and even help form bonds and connections with others.
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He really wanted to meet his brother, he was unaware he was a week late as he had just died. Anyway we arrange to meet not only him but the entire birth family including my great grandmother who was celebrating her 90th.
Apparently she gave birth to him very young and out of wedlock so she was forced to give him up for adoption.
We knew for decades my grandad was adopted and to meet them all at once was bittersweet; great to finally find them but sucks my grandad died like literally a week before.
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