30 Times Honest Kids Slam-Dunked Adults With Savage Roasts, As Shared In This Online Thread

Parent: you know you'll have to listen me for the rest of your life
Child: no, I have to listen to you for the rest of YOUR life

In a busy store, kid maybe 4 years old getting ignored.

"Dad. Dad. Dad. Daddy. Dad. Daddy. DADDY. DADDY. DAD. DADA! DADDY! DADDY! DADA! DAD! DAD!"

5 seconds later a great shout comes out this kid.

"STEEEEEEVE!"

That got dad's attention, he jumped 3 inches.

A group of adults were talking extremely loud about how stupid certain people were, and that includes young kids. One of the person's kid said
"At least I know I'm dumb."
I think of that kid to this day.

Little girl was dressed as a fast food worker for Halloween was being given s**t by her aunt for her "low choice" and that she needed to aim higher if she wanted to succeed, whole thing was really demeaning and weird. Girl fired back with: I'm only 12, what's your excuse for being poor then?

Someone in the family was pregnant, and my nieces were putting together the facts related to baby making at the time. A light bulb went off and they noted 'oh, so that means so and so had s*x.' Then, another light bulb went off and they said to their mom "oh, so that means that you and dad have had s*x too!"

They seemed skeptical, and when further questioned, said "Dad just doesn't seem like the type of person that would have s*x."

When I was 22 or so I was just out of college, living at home, and working as an aide at an elementary school. I was working with a first grader who asked me if I had kids. I said no. He asked if I had a wife. I said no. The kid looks a bit confused and says, "Then who do you live with?" I said that I live with my parents and brothers. Then the kid looks even more confused and goes, "Wait... I thought you were an adult." I know he didn't mean nothing by it, but damn.

I heard a little kid saying to his mum: i thought men can't get pregnant.

Ty little bastard you were talking so loud, i reduced my alcohol consume down to 10% of what i drank before (and now limited to weekends) and lost almost 15kg since then. Yes, was on my best way of becoming an alcoholic. And i had that fat "beer tummy" while else being pretty skinny.

My daughter is a genius and on the spectrum... this has led to some hilarious (in hindsight) encounters. My mother-in-law was spending time with the little one to get to know her better (she was an unplanned life happens adoption and will be our only child.) They were folding clothes in my MIL‘s Living room when the otherwise silent all day 3yr old turns to her and says: “My panties are too small to fold.“ she held up my MIL’s underwear she had been folding. “I can fold your panties many many times. It is because your butt is so big.” My MIL said she then held her underwear up in awe and whispered “One day I too will be gloriously fat.”

My 11 year old sister to one of my friends:

“Hey, did you know that if you were to eat a bee, you would have more brains in your stomach than in your head.”

A conversation I overheard between my father and sister:

My father: “Can your little legs carry your big smart mouth?”

My sister: “can your legs carry your big stomach?”

Karen to her kid: "Stop acting like a child!"
Some random kid walking by: "He is a child, what's your excuse."

“Uncle Eric? When is your baby due?”

Kid had just learned what a pregnancy looked like. Uncle Eric was not, in fact, pregnant.

I’m a high school teacher. Once a student came up to me and said “Ms. ____ has anyone told you that you look nice today?” I said “Aww. Thank you! They haven’t.” She then said “Good. I wanted to make sure no one was lying to you.” And walked away.

The other day my 6 year old daughter was sitting next to me and looked me right in the eye and said “why do you have a mustache?”

I’m a woman, by the way.

I was at a public safety education event for grades 5/6 representing EMS. I was showing a kid some of the advanced things we do and her teacher asked "So, would you want to be a Paramedic?"

Her reply...."No, I'm going to study business, I want to be able to pay my bills".

Still kinda stings.

"Dad, I drew you with no hair, because you pretty much don't have any." My 5-year-old son

Halloween was coming soon, my sister was talking to one of my 5 yo cousins. "Hey honey! What do you think your mommy should dress like for halloween? A princess?". The kid smiled: "She's waaay too ugly for a princess! Mommy should be a witch!"

We kept quiet for the rest of the day. Mommy never knew.

My ex was a heavy dude. He changed his shirt in front of his 4 year old nephew, who looked at his belly confused and genuinely asked him if his stomach was his butt.

I was washing dishes in the kitchen and singing to myself and my 4yr old walked in with her face screwed up and said "mummy you cant sing, it's hurting my ears". She's not wrong though because I definitely can't sing. It's brutal honesty daily from her.

Last week my husband who works at a local grocery store overheard a mother pushing her two kids in a cart and complaining about how heavy they were. The older child, probably around 7 years old looks at her and says, "You're the one who decided to have two kids". Looks like someone spends a lot of time at his grandparent's house.

My friend when he was about 4 was in trouble so he had to be in the kitchen with his mom where she could see him. He was bored and wanted to play but she wouldn’t let him so he looked at her and said in his sweetest voice “mom if you’re here, who’s running hell?” Still the most savage burn I’ve seen in a while.