Roasting is a skill that doesn’t come naturally to everyone. And no, we're not talking about grilling meat and potatoes; we're talking about the kind of roasting that scorches a person's ego. Some people are far too kind to create an excellent insult, while others don’t have the wit necessary. But every now and then, someone with a sharp tongue and a brilliant mind comes up with an insult so brutal that it goes completely over the head of the subject.
If you’re a connoisseur of eloquently crafted insults, you’ve come to the right place, pandas. Threads users have recently been sharing the most clever and cutting digs they have ever heard, so we've compiled a list of them below. Enjoy scrolling through these roasts that are on par with Shakespeare, and be sure to upvote the ones that you’ll keep in your pocket for future use!
#1
My favorite from Zelensky’s visit to the White House last year: "You're raising the volume of your voice, but not the logic in your argument."
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66points
#2
When Anthony Faucci was speaking to Congress, he was constantly saying
"With all due respect (to your expertise)...."
They had no expertise.
They knew it.
He knew it.
"With all due respect (to your expertise)...."
They had no expertise.
They knew it.
He knew it.
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30points
#3
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."
That was my dad's favourite.
That was my dad's favourite.
29points
#4
I once had a coworker ask why I talked to him like he was stupid. I looked him in the eye and asked "why do you talk to me like you're stupid?"
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28points
#5
I have neither the time, nor the crayons, to explain this to you.
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25points
#6
"Nothing you could do would make me think less of you."
It's good because it can also be a compliment.
It's good because it can also be a compliment.
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24points
#7
"You’re not right, you’re simply convinced".
24points
#9
Saw one on here the other day:
“The acoustics in your head must be amazing.”
“The acoustics in your head must be amazing.”
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22points
#10
"There's no beginning to your talents".
- Clive Anderson to Jeffrey Archer.
- Clive Anderson to Jeffrey Archer.
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21points
#12
"As an outsider, what are your thoughts on intelligence?"
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20points
#13
I'm envious of all the people who have never met you.
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19points
#14
“It’s nice that you’re committed to your level of understanding.”
“You might be the only person I’ve met that’s reached their full potential.”
“You have the kind of unshakable confidence that usually comes with competence.”
“I admire your courage to speak in the absence of knowledge.”
“You’ve mastered the tone of authority without the inconvenience of depth.”
“I like how you never let facts get in the way of your opinion.”
“You state the obvious with such a sense of discovery.”
“You might be the only person I’ve met that’s reached their full potential.”
“You have the kind of unshakable confidence that usually comes with competence.”
“I admire your courage to speak in the absence of knowledge.”
“You’ve mastered the tone of authority without the inconvenience of depth.”
“I like how you never let facts get in the way of your opinion.”
“You state the obvious with such a sense of discovery.”
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18points
#17
To someone showing off in an obnoxious way: "That's incredibly impressive to someone who is impressed by those things".
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13points
#18
My favorite is: I’d challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed.
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13points
#20
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening.
But this wasn’t it.”
Groucho Marx.
But this wasn’t it.”
Groucho Marx.
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12points
