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Mom Ariane heaped praise on her daughter, Lily. "She's adorable, kind, fun, hilarious, smart, talented and thoughtful and she teaches me new things every day. It wasn't easy leaving her dad and becoming a single mum when she was 17 months old, but it was necessary for my happiness and for my daughter's stability, and my love for her got us through it. Being a mum has improved my life immeasurably and taught me to put another person first and think of their needs before my own," she shared with Bored Panda.
However, this doesn't mean that there weren't any challenges. There were many that Ariane had to overcome. "She was a difficult toddler who would have giant meltdowns in the supermarket. She was also very active and wanted to walk everywhere (and swing on bars and somersault on railings!) which for a sedentary parent was exhausting. She was incredibly curious, and walking anywhere would take forever as she had to examine every leaf and flower by the roadside and collect all the pebbles and sticks (and if I didn't let her, she would scream and scream!). But that phase came and went and now I have a wonderful eleven-year-old who is my whole world."
According to Ariane, someone wondering if they're ready to have kids should ask themselves if they actually want them. "I truly believe that's essential to being a good parent. If you don't love the thought of being a mum or dad, you're likely to resent having to put your children first. Secondly, that love for them is what powers you through the difficult times—and there will be difficult times. So do it because you know your life wouldn't be complete if you don't."
She said that people shouldn't have kids just to "tick a box" or because they feel pressured due to societal expectations. "Plenty of people are very happy and fulfilled without being parents. It just so happens that I wouldn't have been one of them, but that doesn't mean it's not a perfectly valid life choice."
Ariane stressed that the difficult years of parenting are just phases. So parents shouldn't be alarmed that their lives will look the same from the moment their kids are born to the second they move out for college. There will be a lot of shifts and changes.
"Your kid will probably grow out of whatever behavior they're displaying now. The first four years are the most difficult. But at age 4, they go to school, and then you get your life back a bit, for at least six hours a day. See if you can get some help each week, whether that's grandparents doing a bit of childcare or paying a childminder. Use the extra time to exercise self-care and pamper yourself, whether that means having a massage or just a soak in the bath—do things you wouldn't be able to do while looking after your child."
Meanwhile, if you have had a partner, you should explain to them how you feel if you're overwhelmed or exhausted (or both). If that's not possible, you can try talking to a friend or even consider counseling as an outlet for your emotions.
"You might not feel as though you're doing a great job, but is your kid fed, clothed, warm, safe, happy and loved? Then you're doing brilliantly—cut yourself some slack," she told Bored Panda.
Juggling family life, work, and one's hopes and dreams for the future is a massive undertaking. We asked Ariane to tell us how she does it without falling apart. She explained to us that parenting requires sacrifice, for instance, in the form of limiting one's hobbies.
"I just about manage it but I have shared residency with my daughter's father, so I see her for the whole of each weekend and during the holidays. The rest of the time, I work weekdays as editor of thesethreerooms.com and produce music in the evenings," she said.
"On the flip side, this has meant curtailing my hobbies: I rarely read books or watch TV or films anymore, and time spent with friends is rare. But weekends with my daughter are wonderful and make all the hard work worthwhile, because I'm building a beautiful life for us both."
The ‘Satirical Mommy’ Instagram page has just shy of 40k followers. The memes are so great, that they’ve been featured on a wide range of media outlets. And it’s no wonder. The memes are witty, relatable, and the insights that the founder of the project Alexis shares sound really genuine.
Alexis describes herself as a “sleep-deprived” mom to two boys, and states that she’s laughing her way “through parenthood, ADHD, and life.” The content creator taps into that common thread that links most exhausted parents, taking life one day at a time, sometimes looking cool on the outside when, on the inside, they’re completely making things up as they go along.
Recently, Bored Panda spoke about the challenges of parenting with blogger Samantha Scroggin, the founder of ‘Walking Outside in Slippers.’ She firmly believes that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to raising tiny munchkins into functioning members of society. Parenting, to her, is a very individual thing. And every family’s situation is unique.
"'Bad behavior' has become very subjective for me when it comes to kids. I have a son with ADHD, and he can't always control his outbursts. Those outbursts can include cursing or kicking a wall. There was a time when I would have wondered why parents with a kid like that weren't doing their job. But punishment isn't effective with my son," the mom revealed to Bored Panda some of the challenges that she has to face in her day-to-day.
"Screaming and yelling back only add fuel to the fire. He does better with rewards and consistency. I believe it's important for parents to customize their parenting and consequences for undesirable behavior to what works best for their child. There's no one-size-fits-all punishment for all kids," she explained.
"When I catch my kids lying, I try to get to the root of why. And I let them know that lying is a worse offense than whatever they're lying to cover up," mom Samantha pointed out that good communication is essential to trust.
"I believe in setting high expectations for kids as far as expecting them to be good, honest people who are kind to others. And I often communicate the importance of this to my kids."
Becoming a parent can help people become more empathetic and caring towards others. "I know I have become much more sensitive to the plight of others. Maybe this is due to having kids myself, and feeling a little bit like everyone's mom. Or just an increased awareness of mortality and people's differing life circumstances. But empathy is a good thing. Most of us could probably use a little more of it," the mom said.
It’s not just moms that have it tough, though. Relationship expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man, recently told Bored Panda how someone can tell that they’re ready to have kids. He was candid about the fact that starting a family really is the start of a new era, went into detail with us about what it’s like being a parent, and provided his own perspective of raising kids as a dad.
"One of the main changes is that your children want and need as much of your attention as possible, which means you have a lot less spare time to do things you want, including checking your phone," he explained to us.
"You are no longer a couple anymore. You are a couple and parents at the same time. It’s difficult to understand what it is like to be a parent without actually doing it."
The essence of parenting, according to relationship expert Dan, is being responsible for others and taking care of them before even thinking of taking care of yourself. Doing this means that everyone is bound to be happy and more likely to get along.
“If you don’t, you will have a strained relationship with your children and potentially with your wife/girlfriend as well," the expert warned.
