The unavoidable reality is that everything we’re doing is temporary. We will all pass away. And when your life is nearing its end, you start to realize what the most important, fundamental things are. Suddenly, there’s no real reason to keep lying, neither to yourself nor to others. However, the truth isn’t always pleasant to hear.
Internet users have been opening up on Quora about the most shocking, sad, and wild deathbed confessions that they have personally witnessed. Scroll down to read what they heard.
Just be warned, many of these stories are very sensitive, emotionally intense, and potentially triggering.
#1
I was working in a nursing home some years ago, and we had the nicest gentleman there. I mean he was the best patient we or any nurse could ask for. So, after get pneumonia and declining he had only days to live, he asked me if he could tell me something that he never told anyone. Of course I agreed and was happy to hear whatever he had to say. Well he proceeded to tell me that his grandfather s**ually a**sed his little sister and his grandmother knew about it and protected his grandfather, so he put poison in their food when they had to stay there for the night. The next morning they both were dead. No autopsy was performed and everyone assumed they had passed from old age. He smiled at me and said, “It was my job to protect her.” I just simply smiled and told him he was now my favorite person, moments later he passed on. I will never forget him.
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93points
#2
I have an amazing one:
My great grandmother lived a very long and interesting life. She was in her 20s in the great depression. She had a wild streak from those days that we don't know much about, to the point that we actually don't know our great grandfather's name. Just the husband she took later.
Over the course of her nearly 100 year life, she had collected owls. Literally thousands of owl figurines. She had clocks, wall-hangings, potholders, lamps, stained glass art, salt shakers, and more little figurines than you could imagine, all depicting owls.
We all wondered the importance of the owls. She never talked about them, we just all knew she loved owls.
Well, when she was nearing death, at the age of 98 or 99, and the docs said she had days, my grandparents went and talked to her and they asked her if she had anything she wanted to share or ask before she goes.
She thought for a moment, then said, "I never understood the owls."
It turns out, she didn't really give a s**t about owls. Near as we could piece together sometime in the 40s or 50s perhaps, she bought either a trivet or a set of salt/pepper shakers that were owls. Then someone got her the other. Those were the oldest owls anyone could remember. But from there, someone got her an owl to match, probably a potholder or place mat. And all the sudden her kitchen was owl themed. From there, it snowballed. The owls flowed like wine, baffling her for 60 years, eventually taking over as the bulk of her personal belongings.
The moral is: if you're not actually into something, mention it early.
My great grandmother lived a very long and interesting life. She was in her 20s in the great depression. She had a wild streak from those days that we don't know much about, to the point that we actually don't know our great grandfather's name. Just the husband she took later.
Over the course of her nearly 100 year life, she had collected owls. Literally thousands of owl figurines. She had clocks, wall-hangings, potholders, lamps, stained glass art, salt shakers, and more little figurines than you could imagine, all depicting owls.
We all wondered the importance of the owls. She never talked about them, we just all knew she loved owls.
Well, when she was nearing death, at the age of 98 or 99, and the docs said she had days, my grandparents went and talked to her and they asked her if she had anything she wanted to share or ask before she goes.
She thought for a moment, then said, "I never understood the owls."
It turns out, she didn't really give a s**t about owls. Near as we could piece together sometime in the 40s or 50s perhaps, she bought either a trivet or a set of salt/pepper shakers that were owls. Then someone got her the other. Those were the oldest owls anyone could remember. But from there, someone got her an owl to match, probably a potholder or place mat. And all the sudden her kitchen was owl themed. From there, it snowballed. The owls flowed like wine, baffling her for 60 years, eventually taking over as the bulk of her personal belongings.
The moral is: if you're not actually into something, mention it early.
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58points
#3
My friends mom confessed to us two days b4 she died that she had k**led my friends dad many years prior with poison. she claimed that she found out he was m**esting their neighbor who was a disabled kid and she fed him rat poison. Everyone thought he had just got sick and died. We said yea but he was in the hospital for a month b4 he died, and she replied, “that’s why I told him not to eat that horrible hospital food and that I would bring him food.”
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55points
Losing your loved ones is already one of the worst things that can ever happen to you in life. But learning that they might not have been the people you thought you knew can be even more devastating. Not only are you dealing with grief, but now you also have to come to terms with this new information. Even though the person has passed away, if they’ve spilled some sensitive secrets in their final moments, they fundamentally changed your relationship with them.
While we all keep secrets, some of them are more devastating than others. And there is a big difference between secrecy and privacy. A good rule of thumb to follow is that if a piece of information directly impacts another person, you should tell them. Meanwhile, if you feel ashamed or guilty about withholding some information from your loved ones, it might be a sign that you’re being secretive rather than simply private.
#4
I had a patient, 96yo woman. She had one son who always looked after her, came to see her and took care of her. She would tell me stories about her life, WWII, and her family. One day she confessed that her son is not really her son and actually is her nephew. She couldn’t have kids and her sister gave him away to her. She said he doesn’t know and should never know. Felt weird to know this.
47points
#5
My grandpa, a Sicilian man with blessed cooking skills, told us on his deathbed that his meatballs were actually frozen meatballs from the grocery store.
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45points
#6
My parents went through a very bitter divorce. Admittedly my mother lied about several things which led the courts to awarding her half of my fathers assets plus alimony.
The day he died he told me he wished he’d never met my mother. His said she was the biggest regret of his life.
The only solace was him telling me that he never once regretted having me as his son.
He was a man of integrity and honor. My mother used him for his wealth.
His estate was divided between me and my sister. My mother tried to sue the estate demanding that she was entitled to ongoing alimony. She didn’t succeed. We have not spoken to her in 15 years. I don’t know if she’s alive or dead. I’ve never been happier to have her out of our lives forever.
The day he died he told me he wished he’d never met my mother. His said she was the biggest regret of his life.
The only solace was him telling me that he never once regretted having me as his son.
He was a man of integrity and honor. My mother used him for his wealth.
His estate was divided between me and my sister. My mother tried to sue the estate demanding that she was entitled to ongoing alimony. She didn’t succeed. We have not spoken to her in 15 years. I don’t know if she’s alive or dead. I’ve never been happier to have her out of our lives forever.
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44points
As Michael Slepian, PhD, the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. associate professor of leadership and ethics at Columbia Business School, told the American Psychological Association, people have around 13 secrets at any one time. It’s estimated that around 5 of those are things that they have never told others.
According to Slepian, some of the most common secrets that people keep include having told lies and not wanting others to find out. Other common secrets include romantic desires and things related to intimacy and money.
#7
My uncle had been in a car accident. It was bad. In the ambulance on the way to the hospital, he said "tell my wife that Wendy is my daughter and I love her" (name changed for privacy). He died a few minutes later because of internal bleeding.
Wendy was the neighbours' then 5 year old child. That caused a huge s**tstorm, I can tell you.
Wendy was the neighbours' then 5 year old child. That caused a huge s**tstorm, I can tell you.
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41points
#8
My dad was adopted from a woman who went to my grandparent's church and got pregnant out of wedlock. My grandpa confessed on his deathbed that he had actually had an affair with that woman and he was my dad's real father, which was why he suggested adopting him in the first place.
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33points
#9
I met a lady on a train to Edinburgh who was really nervous because she was on the way to meet her brother for the first time in 70 years. Her parents had told her that he died when he was one, but they'd given him away because they couldn't afford so many kids. She didn't find out he was still alive until her Mother confessed it on her deathbed.
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33points
The psychologist notes that keeping secrets from others indicates that you may not be comfortable enough to be yourself around others. Overall, it’s healthier to feel guilty (for example, thinking that you’ve done something bad) than ashamed (believing that you’re a bad person). It’s in the latter case that your secrecy starts taking a toll on your well-being and health because you keep returning to your secrets over and over again.
If you feel burdened by the secrets you keep from your loved ones, you might want to consider talking to a neutral third party. Ask them for advice. Get their perspective. Step outside of your rumination.
#10
As a nurse, I've been with many right as they pass. The confession came from a 102-year-old lady. She was so nice and polite and would never ask for a thing. She outlived her children and husband; the rest of the family lived across the country. I sat with her for a few minutes after giving her pain medication. She stated, 'I love the Lord, but I'm not going to see him.' I told her that she had a spot in heaven waiting for her. She still said, 'No.'
Turns out that she got pregnant at 17, while unmarried, with a boy she didn't even know well. Which would have been a big deal back then. She hid her pregnancy and gave birth in the family barn. Scared and knowing that if her family found out about any of this, she would be kicked out and labeled, she wrapped up the baby and placed it in a pond on the family farm.
I thought my heart stopped when she told me her story. Soon, she fell asleep and passed about an hour later.
Turns out that she got pregnant at 17, while unmarried, with a boy she didn't even know well. Which would have been a big deal back then. She hid her pregnancy and gave birth in the family barn. Scared and knowing that if her family found out about any of this, she would be kicked out and labeled, she wrapped up the baby and placed it in a pond on the family farm.
I thought my heart stopped when she told me her story. Soon, she fell asleep and passed about an hour later.
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32points
#11
I'm a medical student and I had a female patient who was new to our practice who was HIV positive. I needed to ask her how she got the virus. She tells me it was s*xually transmitted, and the only reason she got tested was because her partner of 3 years last words to her as he was dying in hospice was "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you; forgive me." Heavy stuff.
Edit: to be clear he died of cancer.
Edit: to be clear he died of cancer.
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29points
#12
When I was in school I was shadowing an ICU nurse and we were taking care of an elderly woman dying of brain cancer. One day when her family went home for the night and we were getting her ready for bed she randomly blurts out “should I tell him they’re not his.”
She was referring to her children and husband who had just left. She elaborated and told us that their two children are both another man’s! And not just any man’s, but her husbands childhood best friend!!! What made this even crazier was that her children were probably 50 years old! I have no idea how this had stayed a secret for so long.
Fast forward to the next morning and I see an unfamiliar older gentleman in her room. Before I said anything to anyone the nurse I was shadowing whispers to me that that is the childhood best friend! I don’t know whether or not they were still messing around but I don’t think I have ever seen a secret 50-year-old love triangle.
We told her that she should not tell the husband and children. If it’s been a secret this long, there’s no point to tell them on your deathbed. But were we right for that? What would you have told her?
She was referring to her children and husband who had just left. She elaborated and told us that their two children are both another man’s! And not just any man’s, but her husbands childhood best friend!!! What made this even crazier was that her children were probably 50 years old! I have no idea how this had stayed a secret for so long.
Fast forward to the next morning and I see an unfamiliar older gentleman in her room. Before I said anything to anyone the nurse I was shadowing whispers to me that that is the childhood best friend! I don’t know whether or not they were still messing around but I don’t think I have ever seen a secret 50-year-old love triangle.
We told her that she should not tell the husband and children. If it’s been a secret this long, there’s no point to tell them on your deathbed. But were we right for that? What would you have told her?
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28points
What is the most shocking secret that you have ever heard a loved one, friend, coworker, or acquaintance tell you? Have you ever heard someone’s last-breath confession, as they were passing away?
How many secrets would you say that you’re keeping from your nearest and dearest? If you feel like sharing, feel free to do so in the comments at the bottom of this post.
#13
There was a cold case m**der in our hometown back from the 50s. No suspects. Never solved. It was my aunts husband who a**sed her.
On my oldest uncle's death bed he confesses to k**ling him for a**sing his sister.
On my oldest uncle's death bed he confesses to k**ling him for a**sing his sister.
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28points
#14
Me and all of my cousins were gathered around my grandfathers hospice bed as he laid dying. Each and every one of my cousins (there's a lot of us) gave him a kiss and tried to talk to him/said they loved him, etc. But he wouldn't respond to any of them, just stared.
Until I came up. I sat on the edge of his bed, holding his hand. Everyone was watching us. He looked at me and said, "I don't like Mexican food."
And that was it.
Until I came up. I sat on the edge of his bed, holding his hand. Everyone was watching us. He looked at me and said, "I don't like Mexican food."
And that was it.
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28points
#15
My husbands aunt (Mexican family) confessed to him on her death bed that she spiced her tacos with Kroger brand taco seasoning. He’s still a little shocked about it sometimes.
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28points
#16
From 1976 to 1982 I worked my way through NYU part-time as an EMT for FDNY Ladder 20 in southeastern Manhattan. I remember going on one call one winter, about 2–3 AM, where an older European man in his late 70s was dying of COPD and heart failure.
He lived alone with one cat, which hadn’t been fed in awhile, and when we arrived, he was almost unresponsive, with weak pulse and shallow respiration. We attended him, took his vitals and started to strap him in to the gurney. There was a Catholic crucifix on one wall and some old pictures of German castles, street scenes and cross country skiing parties. The man had a soft and vague, mostly discarded accent, which might have been German, Austrian, Swiss or possibly Hungarian.
He told my partner he knew his time was coming and he wanted to die at home, and in order to delay us he told my partner to look into a corner closet and take out a brass and leather trunk. In it there were 4 magnificent German hand carved boar and stag horn hunting knives with ornate, deeply etched blades of finest Prussian steel, plus some medals, including an Iron Cross, rings and papers. He told us we could have the contents and he told us his name was Dietrich, and he had risen to the rank of Standartenfuhrer (Colonel) in the SS.
He told us, through hypoxic, rattling gasps, that in 1942 he ordered and supervised the death of over 4,000 civilians, mainly women and children, somewhere in Hungary. He said he never was charged with war crimes and escaped the Nuremburg war crimes trials because the Hungarian army, acting under SS auspices, directly participated and was responsible, and their were no witness or paperwork to tie his orders directly to the SS. He told it without emotion, without deception, as if he was telling you where he had parked his car. He had kept that secret for 40 years and needed to release it, like a confessional, before he died. We got him into the ambulance, but he was DOA by the time we got to the ER at Beth Israel.
My partner and I each grabbed one of the hunting knives. I was struck by how easily it was to talk about and confess the most horrible deeds to a perfect stranger once he knew there would be no repercussions. Makes me realize we are all just a hair’s breadth away from being monsters.
He lived alone with one cat, which hadn’t been fed in awhile, and when we arrived, he was almost unresponsive, with weak pulse and shallow respiration. We attended him, took his vitals and started to strap him in to the gurney. There was a Catholic crucifix on one wall and some old pictures of German castles, street scenes and cross country skiing parties. The man had a soft and vague, mostly discarded accent, which might have been German, Austrian, Swiss or possibly Hungarian.
He told my partner he knew his time was coming and he wanted to die at home, and in order to delay us he told my partner to look into a corner closet and take out a brass and leather trunk. In it there were 4 magnificent German hand carved boar and stag horn hunting knives with ornate, deeply etched blades of finest Prussian steel, plus some medals, including an Iron Cross, rings and papers. He told us we could have the contents and he told us his name was Dietrich, and he had risen to the rank of Standartenfuhrer (Colonel) in the SS.
He told us, through hypoxic, rattling gasps, that in 1942 he ordered and supervised the death of over 4,000 civilians, mainly women and children, somewhere in Hungary. He said he never was charged with war crimes and escaped the Nuremburg war crimes trials because the Hungarian army, acting under SS auspices, directly participated and was responsible, and their were no witness or paperwork to tie his orders directly to the SS. He told it without emotion, without deception, as if he was telling you where he had parked his car. He had kept that secret for 40 years and needed to release it, like a confessional, before he died. We got him into the ambulance, but he was DOA by the time we got to the ER at Beth Israel.
My partner and I each grabbed one of the hunting knives. I was struck by how easily it was to talk about and confess the most horrible deeds to a perfect stranger once he knew there would be no repercussions. Makes me realize we are all just a hair’s breadth away from being monsters.
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27points
#17
A woman who ran a local outlet shop confessed to human tr**ficking and had built-up quite a nest-egg for her and her husband. When the husband learned of this. He gave the money to charity after her death.
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25points
#18
I didn't see it, but my aunt watched her elderly mother fall down the stairs and confess just before she died that she wasn't her biological mother.
She told my aunt that her oldest sister was actually her mother. The sister had gotten pregnant too young and the mom said it was hers. A common way of handling it back then. She revealed it in her very last breath.
She told my aunt that her oldest sister was actually her mother. The sister had gotten pregnant too young and the mom said it was hers. A common way of handling it back then. She revealed it in her very last breath.
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25points
#19
My grandpa told my dad he loved him for the first time when he was dying from cancer. Grandpa was a drunk all throughout my dad's childhood and had a strained relationship with the family. So this was pretty surprising to hear from him.
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22points
#20
In my time as a registered nurse I've heard many deathbed confessions. The most lighthearted one was from a lady dying from cancer. Her confession was that she'd once stolen a tin of butter from the store and she asked me if God would forgive her. I told her what I tell everyone, yeah he will forgive you for sure. I don't believe in God but if I can make their death any easier for them then I will. Saying things like that gives the patients peace of mind.
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20points