Since ancient times, the name has been the main identifier of anyone's persona. Our name is something that we are often given even before our birth, and it acts as a kind of emotional connection between parents and an unborn child. A name is something sacred, after all.
Perhaps we are exaggerating a little, but in any case, our psyche is sometimes completely unpredictable, and it is difficult to assess how a person will perceive any act of others. Especially if this act is closely associated with a name that has a special meaning. As it happened in the story recently described by the user u/Patient-Ad8524.
The author of the post and his wife were expecting a baby whom they wanted to name 'Victoria' in order to honor the man's late grandma's memory
Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual photo)
The man's sister also got pregnant and joked that the brother's wife was the first in line for this name
Image credits: Patient-Ad8524
However, the author's wife gave birth to a stillborn daughter and all the family was there to share their grief
Image credits: Beth Scupham (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Patient-Ad8524
Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Patient-Ad8524
Soon after, the man's sister had her own gender reveal party and announced that her daughter's name will be Victoria as well
Image credits: Rotterdams Ballonnenbedrijf (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Patient-Ad8524
The spouses were shocked and devastated and the man berated his sister severely
So, the Original Poster (OP) and his wife found out a while ago that they were having a baby and decided to name her after the OP's late grandmother - "Victoria". His grandmother had passed away years earlier, so both the author of the post and his sister "Layla", along with their respective spouses, wanted to honor her memory. A few months later, Layla became pregnant as well and even joked that "Pam", the OP's wife, got there earlier.
However, sometimes tragic events happen... Pam, alas, gave birth to a stillborn daughter, and although all the relatives tried to support the spouses in their grief, the original poster asked his sister to give them some space, because it would be emotionally difficult to see a pregnant woman after everything that he and his wife had to endure. Layla was upset, but she understood everything.
What a blow it was for the OP and his wife when, after some time, his mother invited them to visit his sister's gender reveal and it turned out that Layla decided to name her unborn daughter... Victoria. The sister told her brother that since their grandmother's name was left "unused", now she would take it for her own child. Pam broke into sobs, and the OP himself, being completely shocked, said a lot of unpleasant things to his sister - including that "she did not deserve to be a mother".
Since Layla's pregnancy is also high-risk, the man is under fire from literally all of his relatives, and especially their mother, who said that the OP's words were extremely stressful for the mom-to-be. Their relatives demanded that the author of the post apologize to his sister, but he simply could not come to terms with what happened...
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
"Of course, what the author of the post said to his pregnant sister is inappropriate, but it is worth taking into account the psychological state of the spouses at that moment," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment on this case. "It is unlikely that the spouses expected such a decision from the sister - especially since earlier she had shown enough tact and understanding in a difficult situation for her brother."
“Also, it’s worth looking at this story from another angle. In fact, now the name 'Victoria' has a completely different meaning for the whole family. It is now not only the name of the late old lady, who, apparently, lived a long and decent life, and whose memory the relatives wanted to honor so much."
"Now it is also a name that painfully triggers at least the author of the post and his wife. A name that will probably evoke painful memories in them for the rest of their lives - and the expectant mother, most likely, did not think what kind of relationship the uncle-to-be would have with his niece. And this also had to be taken into account," Irina states.
Most of the commenters absolutely agree with this, arguing that virtually any post on social networks - for example, "Victoria's first tooth", "Victoria's first birthday party" will evoke stressful memories for the couple. In the comments section, the original poster also wrote that the sister's choice of name came as a shock to their parents too, who also said they shouldn't have taken it. "You sister knew what she was doing, she just didn't care," people in the comments claimed as well.
However, there are certain situations when even the closest relatives really show minimal empathy for the pain of their family members. For example, the heroine of this post of ours even seduced her sister's husband just at the time when she lost her pregnancy - and this later backfired on her as well. If you have made up your mind about this tale's characters, please express it in the comments below.
People in the comments nevertheless sided with the author, stating that his sister's idea was absolutely inappropriate
