30 People Share How They Tried To Reignite Their Relationship But Ruined It Instead

Forbes Advisor, which surveyed recent divorcees, found that the main reasons why people get divorced are due to a lack of family support and infidelity. 43% and 34% cited these as important reasons for the marriage breaking apart, respectively.

Other contributing factors include a lack of intimacy or compatibility (31%), arguing too much (31%), as well as financial stress (24%), and a lack of commitment (23%).

Meanwhile, parenting differences, marrying too young, and having opposing values can also negatively impact a marriage. However, the latter affects only a small portion of couples. For instance, only a fifth of respondents noted parenting differences as being a contributing factor in their divorce. Only a tenth mentioned marrying too young as being important while barely 6% said that their opposing values led to their divorce.

According to Forbes, the most common indicators of an imminent divorce include a lack of interest in each other, poor conflict resolution, and avoiding each other.

Healthline points out that even if there’s a lack of passion in your relationship, it doesn’t automatically mean that there’s nothing left to salvage. However, it takes intentional action to change things for the better. For example, you could try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship, instead of just the negatives. You could spend a week noticing all of the things that your partner does well. Meanwhile, you can show your gratitude by thanking them for all the small things they do right. It’s really heartwarming to be noticed and appreciated.

In the meantime, it’s vital that you start rekindling your passion by having fun. It’s all about becoming playful with each other again. That means setting aside some time dedicated to experiencing new things together. This requires intent. It won’t happen on its own! You could travel someplace new, try out a new restaurant, go to a class, pick up a fun hobby, or go to a fun local event. It doesn’t quite matter what you do, so long as it makes you feel full of energy and gets you out of your rut.

Marriage.com suggests that if your relationship has lost its excitement, you can try to reignite that joy with your partner by spending quality time with each other, without any distractions. So, if you decide to go on a fun date night (the first in a long while!), the last thing you want is to keep checking your phone for messages from work. Be in the moment. Be present! Focus on your partner. There’s a ton of joy to be found in life when we slow down and stop worrying about the future.

Try to remember what it was about your partner that you found so captivating and special when you first started dating. It’s possible that all of those same qualities are still there. But life throws a lot of responsibilities our way. When you’re stuck in a routine and exhausted, it’s difficult to be playful, witty, and romantic all the time.

A relationship is worth repairing if you and your partner are committed to truly making lasting changes for the better. What’s more, you both have to respect each other and be willing to communicate and look for compromises. In some cases, you may need a couples counselor's perspective to move forward. But remember, asking for help—especially from a professional—is not a sign of weakness.

However, if there’s no longer any trust, love, or willingness to work together, it might be best for the couple to consider moving on separately.