No matter what people say about all this folk wisdom, the true meaning of many proverbs and sayings is revealed only when you yourself experience a similar situation. For example, many wise people said that a person is fully known only in difficult circumstances - but in order to fully understand this, you need to really go through these difficulties with them.
For example, in the case of the user u/ComplaintHelpful7442, the author of the story that we will tell you today, the marriage, alas, didn’t stand the test of life difficulties. However, perhaps this is for the better - because now the woman is free from a toxic relationship, and bad life experience is still experience.
The author of the post had been married to her husband for around four years
Image credits: Alena Darmel (not the actual photo)
During the first two years of their marriage, the couple lived in North Carolina and then moved to Texas, where the hubby's relatives lived
Image credits: u/ComplaintHelpful7442
The main problem, as the author recalls, was that literally all of her in-laws were completely disrespectful people
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/ComplaintHelpful7442
So when the woman returned from Korea, where her mom had undergone chemotherapy to treat her cancer, no one even bothered to ask about her health
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/ComplaintHelpful7442
Moreover, when the author's mom passed away, the husband refused to attend the funeral as his own mother was in the hospital recovering from a minor surgery
So, the Original Poster (OP) is now 25 years old and has been married for the last four years. The couple lived in North Carolina for the first two years of their marriage, but then they moved to Texas, where the husband's family lives. And these last two years have become a real test for the author of the post.
At first, the woman sincerely believed that it was all a matter of cultural differences (she came to the United States from Korea, and her husband is of Mexican descent), but then she became convinced that almost all of her relatives on her husband’s side were simply disrespectful.
Moreover, this involved not only a demonstrative disregard for her national culture - for example, the OP's sister-in-law once defiantly spat out a piece of bulgogi she had just bitten off (a Korean national dish - beef marinated in a sweet sauce), publicly declaring that the taste was disgusting - but relationships with people around as well.
For example, at restaurants, the OP's in-laws would literally drive the staff into a frenzy with various petty orders and quibbles, while leaving meager tips, literally taking coins out of their pockets. The original poster believed that her husband was not like that, but reality soon shattered this belief...
It so happened that the OP’s mother was recently diagnosed with cancer, and the woman went to Korea to care for her while she awaited a course of chemotherapy. The author spent about two weeks there, and the only people who never wrote or called her were her in-laws.
The OP’s husband stated that he had told his relatives about his MIL’s disease, and they allegedly expressed sympathy, but the author of the post herself did not feel any sympathy from them at all. Moreover, when she returned to Texas - her work required her presence in the office, no one from the extended family even mentioned the topic of her mom’s health in any communication.
Everyone was discussing livestock purchases and many different topics - but no one said anything to the original poster. Completely devastated, she went to her room and cried for the rest of the evening - only for her husband to later reprimand her for being 'disrespectful' towards his relatives.
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
But the final straw was subsequent events. The author's mom became much worse, and the woman returned to Korea just to be close to her. However, she did not forget about her relatives - for example, when her mother-in-law underwent minor surgery over tonsillitis, the OP ordered her flowers from the hospital gift shop with wishes for a speedy recovery.
The mother-in-law recovered, but the OP’s mother, alas, lost an unequal battle with the disease and passed away. And the author felt such disappointment and devastation when the husband, having expressed all the appropriate words for the occasion, said that he wouldn’t be able to fly to the funeral - after all, his mom was still in the hospital...
Everything inside the woman seemed to break. She remotely quit her job in the US, immediately filed for divorce, and signed up for therapy - all because she could no longer tolerate such a person next to her.
People in the comments massively supported the original poster, both in the situation as a whole and regarding her decision to part ways with this man. According to commenters, every person needs support in such moments - and feeling that your spouse has morally distanced himself from your problems sometimes looks like a real betrayal. “Your in-laws are insensitive, agreed, but the main culprit in this scenario is your husband,” someone reasonably wrote.
And, of course, people agreed that the woman was right in her decision not to return. Obviously, she needs an emotional reboot, and according to commenters, the author did everything absolutely right. "Cut your losses and move on," this was maybe the wisest comment ever, as wisdom sometimes really needs to be laconic.
Well, in-laws sometimes behave very strangely towards their newly-minted relatives - just remember this post of ours, about the in-laws who kept addressing their DIL by the wrong name only... but such heartlessness, to be honest, is totally discouraging. Maybe you, our dear readers, have to say something about this situation, too? If yes, please feel free to leave your comments below.
The woman decided to part ways with this man - and people in the comments gave her their full support as well as expressed their deepest condolences over her loss
