Ronald Ulysses Swanson is probably the manliest man that has ever manned on our or any other planet ever. His aim to make government less efficient and a fervent disregard for any public interaction rang close to home to many viewers. His love for woodworking, breakfast food, and nautical literature strummed on the heartstrings of even more of them. And his deadpan humor and stereotypically masculine character made him one of the most beloved personas in the world of situation comedy series. Although mister Swanson wasn’t one to spill his thoughts in an endless stream of words, once he did open his mouth, the phrases would just knock you out cold. And yeah, we went to the lengths of gathering the most impressive ones into an article and are presenting to you our thorough compendium of Ron Swanson quotes.
These relatable quotes will definitely speak volumes of Ron’s character - they are straight to the point, blunt, and without any space for interpretation. His cool quotes tell it exactly how it is, and this is a quality we could all presumably have a bit more of. And although Ron might seem made of stone - an unyielding Man with a capital M - his softer side does shine through, however rarely. Then his beautiful quotes speak about love, friendship, and such camaraderie we should all strive to experience. No other character in the Parks And Recreation series is both as complex and as simple as Ron, and that’s exactly why we like him so much!
So, get ready for the best Ron Swanson quotes just a smidgen down further. His wise words will enlighten you on the matters of life, love, and breakfast foods - all of the most important things for any human being. Be sure to vote for the most inspiring quotes and share this article with your friends afterward!
#21 Life Hack: Zero Handouts Here
“If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.”
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#22 Unplugged and Loving It
Ann Perkins: “You’re stranded on a desert island, what is the one thing that you bring with you?”
Ron Swanson: “Silence.”
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#23 Surprise Parties? No Thanks
“Leslie, my first wife Tammy, tried throwing me a surprise birthday party. When I saw my friends hiding through the window, I drove to a gas station, called the cops, and told ’em people had broken into my home. I’m not big on surprises.”
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#24 When Taxes Get Too Personal
“The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teat until they have sore, chapped nipples.”
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#25 Luck? Nah, just excuses hiding
“I’d wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.”
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#26 Plot twist: economics with attitude
"Capitalism is the only way… It makes America great, England OK and France terrible.”
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#27 Crying Spots You Didn’t See Coming
“Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.”
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#28 When dinner sounds like a rollercoaster ride
“You had me at ‘Meat Tornado.’”
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#29 Rules were made to be paused
“The Human Resources department requires that I be available once a month to discuss workplace disputes with my employees. The rules do not specify whether or not I am allowed to listen to Willie Nelson on my headphones.”
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#30 Keep it juicy, keep it real
“Barbecues should be about one thing: good shared meat.”
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#31 Unplugged and Loving It
[Ron does not subscribe to the new world of social media, and being on the grid.] “Food is for eating, places are for being. End of discussion.”
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#32 Veggies Just Got Fancier
“Fishing is for sport only. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.”
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#33 Not How I Planned to Stay Silent
“Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out.”
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#34 Living That Sneak-Attack Life
“I have a hernia. I’ve had it for a while, and I’ve been ignoring it successfully. But uh, this morning, I made the mistake of sneezing. But as long as I sit still and don’t move my head or torso, I’m good. I got this.”
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#35 Bootstraps? More like jetpacks.
“I’m impressed with Andy, pulling himself up by his bootstraps. Reminds me of a young me. I got my first job when I was nine working at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks I was running the floor. Child Labor Laws are ruining this country.”
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#36 Honesty’s Just a Fashion Choice
“I have never lied about anything in my life. Though, I suppose you could construe camouflage as a lie.”
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#37 Winning is just my chill mode off
“I am not a sore loser. It’s just that I prefer to win and when I don’t, I get furious.”
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#38 Last Words with a Side of Shade
“On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.”
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#39 Freedom tastes exactly like a supersize meal
"The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that’s beautiful."
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#40 Bettering stuff without the bureaucracy
“This is not government work, as such I treat it with care and attention.”
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