Ronald Ulysses Swanson is probably the manliest man that has ever manned on our or any other planet ever. His aim to make government less efficient and a fervent disregard for any public interaction rang close to home to many viewers. His love for woodworking, breakfast food, and nautical literature strummed on the heartstrings of even more of them. And his deadpan humor and stereotypically masculine character made him one of the most beloved personas in the world of situation comedy series. Although mister Swanson wasn’t one to spill his thoughts in an endless stream of words, once he did open his mouth, the phrases would just knock you out cold. And yeah, we went to the lengths of gathering the most impressive ones into an article and are presenting to you our thorough compendium of Ron Swanson quotes.
These relatable quotes will definitely speak volumes of Ron’s character - they are straight to the point, blunt, and without any space for interpretation. His cool quotes tell it exactly how it is, and this is a quality we could all presumably have a bit more of. And although Ron might seem made of stone - an unyielding Man with a capital M - his softer side does shine through, however rarely. Then his beautiful quotes speak about love, friendship, and such camaraderie we should all strive to experience. No other character in the Parks And Recreation series is both as complex and as simple as Ron, and that’s exactly why we like him so much!
So, get ready for the best Ron Swanson quotes just a smidgen down further. His wise words will enlighten you on the matters of life, love, and breakfast foods - all of the most important things for any human being. Be sure to vote for the most inspiring quotes and share this article with your friends afterward!
#1 Mastering the art of selective ignorance
“The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”
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#2 Cold, but make it sad
“Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.”
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#3 Low-Key Social Distancing Expert
“When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”
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#4 Caught me off guard with that one
“Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish… and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.”
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#5 Milk\'s identity crisis, apparently
“There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.”
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#6 Why pretend math is optional?
“Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.”
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#7 Rage Responsibly, Folks
“One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”
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#8 Chaos isn’t a mood, trust me
"Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness."
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#9 Breakfast: The OG Mood Booster
"There has never been a sadness that can’t be cured by breakfast food."
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#10 Plot twist: He’s just not a fan of symbolism
“Metaphors? I hate metaphors. That’s why my favorite book is Moby Dick. No frufu symbolism, just a good simple tale about a man who hates an animal.”
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#11 When Brutally Honest Feels Like a Compliment
Ben Wyatt: “You know, you are a wonderful guy, and I admire many things about you, but you are a terrible person to discuss personal problems with.”
Ron: “Thank you friend, that really means a lot to me.”
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#12 Zen and the Art of Not Caring
“Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.”
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#13 Plot twist: That counts as therapy
"Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?" "I have an uncle who does yoga."
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#14 Wait, wizards or space wizards?
“Is Star Wars the one with the wizard boy?”
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#15 No such thing as “too much bacon”
“Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait… I worry what you heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?”
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#16 Silence is overrated anyway
“I love being a father but there are a few things I miss: Silence. The absence of noise. One single moment undisturbed by the sounds of a children’s program called Doc McStuffins. There is no quiet anymore. There is only Doc McStuffins.”
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#17 Big Mood Energy
Ron: “And I’ll have the number eight.”
Server: “That’s a party platter, it serves twelve people.”
Ron: “I know what I’m about son.”
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#18 Breakfast For Life, No Cap
Leslie: “Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?”
Ron: “People are idiots, Leslie.”
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#19 Tom’s laziness is oddly comforting
"I like Tom. He doesn’t do a lot of work around here. He shows zero imitative. He’s not a team player. He’s never wanted to go that extra mile. Tom is exactly what I’m looking for in a government employee."
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#20 Mind Your Own Soul Business
“What religion am I? Well I am practicing none of your damn business.”
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