35 People Who Dated Rich Share The Most Surprising Things They Learned

There’s an abundance of stereotypes about the ultra-rich being mean, condescending, selfish, and so out of touch that they seem to evolve into a completely different species from everyone else. But if we can agree on one thing, it's always fascinating to get a peek into the way they live.

Guessing from responses to the viral thread, people who get into relationships with the wealthy, their enormous fortunes, incredible extravagance, and lavish lifestyles, often learn a lot about what goes on behind the curtain. And as it turns out, coupling with someone who doesn’t have to worry about their next paycheck sheds light on a very different mindset that can manifest in a variety of ways.

To gain more insight into what it actually means to see someone moneyed when you’re not financially stable from an expert, Bored Panda reached out to Anna Eden, a dating and intimacy coach aiming to help career-focused people who’ve "made it" in life to make it in love so they can feel 100% fulfilled.

According to Eden, there are certain opportunities and obstacles to dating the wealthy. "If you’re dealing with a person who’s rich and also generous as a giver and provider of energy, I’d say it can be fun and exciting to be treated to nice restaurants and trips without worrying about money. Who doesn’t like to be swept away like that?" the coach asked.

But having said that, Eden also noted that just because someone is loaded doesn’t mean they’re a match for you: "Compatibility is so much more than money of course."

When it comes to the disadvantages some daters inevitably notice in the relationship, some of the most common ones are dependency and a feeling of inequality. "It’s important to talk openly about money in a relationship," Eden explained. "It’s one of the top reasons couples split, due to different views on money."

A survey of more than 1,000 people by The Cashlorette found that nearly half of married or partnered Americans (48%) reported arguing with each other over money. Whether it’s disagreements about splitting the bills, spending habits, or financial priorities in life, fights like these ones can leave a dent in the relationship.

In fact, it can even lead to divorce. A 2019 study done by researchers at the University of Denver found that financial problems were one of the most often cited reasons for split-up at the individual level. Although some participants noted financial troubles were "not the most pertinent reason for their divorce, but instead contributed to increased stress and tension within the relationship."

Having conflicting ideas about money can be detrimental to couples, and it can even affect their well-being. Eden explained that the person with poor finances could even feel they have to compensate by giving back in other ways. "If it’s a woman and her masculine energy and sense of safety is not balanced within herself, and on top of that she has unresolved 'daddy issues,' there could potentially be an endless hole to fill and a lot of pressure of not feeling enough in that dynamic."

"It’s an art to give and receive gracefully," Eden added. "Which this kind of dating situation can teach us about."

Dating someone well-off can feel daunting, especially when you’re barely afloat yourself. But Eden noted that even when it seems you two live in separate worlds, it doesn’t necessarily mean you lead completely different lifestyles.

However, when there’s an actual gap between your attitudes toward life, she suggested looking at the bright side instead of zooming in on the differences. "It can be interesting to visit each other’s worlds from a curious perspective."

"Let’s not forget that we are all abundant, and it’s not money that makes us abundant but our mindset and the energy we choose to live in," Eden noted. "Money for sure gives you more freedom but being poor teaches you to be humble, grateful and I believe there can be a beneficial exchange of wisdom in that kind of relationship."

However, alignment is also important whenever we reach the dating phase. "Be clear with yourself if financial wealth is important to you and stop ending up in a poor-rich relationship if that’s not what you’re calling in," the coach suggested.

Eden also pointed out that the same goes for any other quality. "For example, when I was younger, I had a phase when I unconsciously was calling in poor working-class guys or students into my field to realize it’s not what I’m looking for right now, and got conscious about the mechanism that upheld this pattern. Now I’m calling in men who've got [everything] together and who have drive and ambition."

To all of you mortals finding yourself in the world of the super-rich, unsure of how to make your relationship work, Eden advised: "Talk! Communication is always key. Many of us have a dysfunctional relationship with money because we grew up hearing 'money doesn’t grow in trees' for example, so we get to look at our beliefs and be open with everything."

"It’s also an excellent opportunity to practice polarity and really step into masculine vs feminine poles of giving and receiving, if that’s something you want to explore," Eden said, adding this doesn’t have to be gender-based. "I think sometimes strong independent feminist women have a lot to learn from being taken out and taken care of (if that’s the nature of the rich person)."

"And once again, I think it’s important also to remember that being rich doesn’t mean a person is more valuable as a human so we don’t get into a power imbalance in the relationship where. We are all whole, complete, and 100 % worthy as we are, always," Eden concluded.