“Wait… You Don’t All Have This?”: 40 Wholesome Moments Of Privilege Realization

I come from a very wealthy family, I didn't realize I was rich until I started going over to my friend's house around age of eight and they never had a PlayStation and so on so we always played outside. When he came over to my house he was super jealous and mentioned how he could never have anything that we had. Every time I went over to his house his mom would make his mac and cheese and other things while I'm used to having steaks and other expensive stuff on a daily basis. Even though I could literally buy whatever I wanted I was jealous of my friend because his parents seem to show more attention to him, and he was jealous of me for having things when those things only really were a distraction. Growing up rich really isn't as cool as you might think it is.

I made a throwaway for this just in case someone could figure out who I am.

It's not something that I realized all at once, but little things that happened throughout my childhood and early adulthood really hit me and I suppose if I really think about it, I still realize new things about it from time to time.

When I was younger we lived in a fairly small town so private schools weren't a thing in my life yet, so for the most part I had a relatively normal upbringing in that sense, with the exception of I had just a little bit nicer stuff than all of my peers. I remember a couple of times I had friends over for sleepovers and we'd go out for pizza or whatever and my friend not knowing what to do because she had never been to a restaurant before, where my family had been going out to eat a couple of times a week my whole life. There were a lot of things like that, my friends might get to go on a day trip to the lake for vacation, my parents would take us to California or Europe. Ours was the only house among my friends that had air conditioning or cable, My dad gave me a credit card and cellphone when I was 12 (this was in the late 90's, definitely not normal then) things like that. I was probably about 10 when I started being conscious of my situation being a little bit different.

We ended up moving to larger city after my mother passed away (I was about 14) and my dad put me into private school at this point, so I wasn't "the rich kid" anymore because everyone else was rich too and it didn't stand out as much. In that type of environment it's easy to forget that you're not in a normal situation. I think this is part of the reason a lot of wealthy kids seem like entitled little s***s, a lot of the kids around them are that way too, it just seems normal at the time. It doesn't make it right though

Probably where it hit me the hardest was after I graduated college I had a job for a short time working with people with disabilities, I remember working with this one client trying to figure out how to budget her food stamps. I absolutely could not figure out how to feed this client with the $80/month she had to work with. I had never had to budget for groceries in my whole life. That job opened my eyes to what poverty is like more than anything else in my life.

I'm in my 30's now and I get about $50k a year in a trust fund plus about another $30k from my job, so if I didn't want to I wouldn't have to work, I will inherit more when my father passes away but I'm hoping that's not for a long time. For me working is truly just a hobby that I get paid for. I work usually around 20 hours a week, and spend the rest of my time on other hobbies and volunteer work. I have a very low stress life. I prefer to keep it that way as opposed to working really hard to have more money which won't make me any happier. I grew up watching my parents be complete workaholics, that's not a life I want for myself. It can cause a rift between my dad and I at times since he thinks I'm lazy. He's probably right, but it just seems pointless to me to work a stressful job just to impress other people.

None of my friends are rich, I've never really enjoyed most of the rich people I have known throughout my life, so I tend to shy away from those circles. I don't bring up my trust fund, and I don't live very extravagantly (I drive a used car, small apartment, don't drink or go shopping), so I don't think most of my friends know I'm wealthy.

It's been strange in romantic relationships, I've found that it's caused some jealousy for most of the guys I've dated. I don't think it's so much because of the money itself, but from the freedom it provides me. It's been a sore spot when they were tired from working 50 or 60 hours a week and were behind on bills, and I am working less than half as much and have never had to worry about a bill in my life.

Money gives you a lot more choices, I have the ability to do pretty much whatever I want, whenever I want. Most people don't have that. Fortunately I am not very materialistic so I'm able to live a mostly simple life and donate a good chunk of my money and still be secure.

In the beginning I went to a private school so I was surrounded by many people from similar backgrounds. It wasn't until I was 12 and I went to public school that I began to realize how different my upbringing was.

At private school our "cafeteria" just had catered meals from various restaurants in town. I remember sitting in the cafeteria of my new public school and just being horrified but what they were serving for lunch. I didn't understand that for some people that was going to be the only steady source of food while growing up. I had a luxury of choice, did I want dominos for lunch? What about Moe's? Oh how about baked ziti from the Italian restaurant? While other people had to make do with tater tot casserole that was made from the leftovers of yesterday's breakfast. I had the luxury to refuse if I didn't want something, for many people they did not.

There were of course other things. Going to a friend's house and being confused by how "small" it was. (It wasn't small, it was a normal sized house. I was the outlier by having a house four times as big.) And how could people not have at least one vacation home? I had the totally acceptable and standard four vacation homes.

I never had to work to "earn" something like a toy. Just say I want something and the next day I would have it. Video games, toys, laptop, clothes, whatever. I remember thinking that the idea of an allowance was a lot of fun, and I would scrub floors in my house pretending to be a single mom needing to make ends meet for her kids. The floors did not need to be scrubbed because we had a maid who did all of our cleaning and laundry. The novelty of cleaning was fun to me, I had so many toys that I wasn't entertained by them anymore. But cleaning? The bees knees.

As I grew up and became more aware of it I don't have as many "revelations" as I did when I was a kid. There are still definitely indications though, like the brand new car my parents bought me when I was 14 and proceeded to not drive until I got my license at 21. The fact I will be debt free once I graduate from college as my parents are of the means to pay all of my four year out of state tuition. Having been able to visit eight foreign countries before I turned 18. Or the time my friend and I looked at Seeking Arrangement and many sugar daddies made less and had a lower net worth than myself.

Despite all of this, my childhood wasn't happy and I have nothing remotely close to a loving relationship with my family. I have depression and anxiety which started to manifest itself when I was 8. Most people probably don't think of it as a large sacrifice, I can afford therapy and d***s so what does it matter. But at the end of the day I would get rid of it all if it meant I could hug my mom and dad, knowing they loved me as unconditionally as my friends' parents do.

I grew up upper middle class and well off. I had the first eyes opening experience at 17 going out of high school when, during the summer holiday I met a student from the same highschool working at the mall.

We chitchatted and i told him « it’s brave of you to work during Summer before starting university »
He answered baffled that he was not working for summer but actually working there long term. The naïve me was like « why don’t you go to university it’s better for you » … « because I have no money for that »

I will always remember that moment with a bit of shame but also the moment where I truly started to grow and be concious of other people lives and difficulties.

College. None of my friends had been skiing. I'm from a plain state with no mountains nearby. .

So my family used to be very rich in Asia (I grew up with a nanny, my parents had a personal driver, and we lived in a penthouse downtown), but is now solidly upper-middle class (top 5%) in North America. Because we can no longer afford the luxuries we used to have, my dad in particular always used to tell me that we were not very well off, and middle class at best. I initially believed it, since the schools I attended were full of people much richer than my family was.

My privilege didn't fully hit me until college, where my roommate told me she had never been on a plane before coming to college nor ever been out of the country because her family couldn't afford it. Meanwhile, my family usually traveled twice a year, and our idea of being budget-conscious was staying at a four-star hotel instead of a five-star one. She worked 20 hours/week to save money to buy the cheapest textbooks she could find while my parents gave me $500 at the start of the semester to buy books.

My parents still insist that we're middle class, but I've realized how lucky I really am.

Around high school I would always try to get my friends to go out to eat with me. It was just weird to me that they didn't have extra spending money. One day it just hit me that we were used to different lifestyles.

I grew up upper middle class, but still ridiculously privileged. I realized that after I became friends with someone whose family was impoverished for the first time, and was invited over to the house her family rented. The bedroom that she shared with her sister was the size of my walk-in closet, and my bedroom was bigger than their living room, dining room, and kitchen put together.

I grew up not knowing my family had money. My friends would marvel at our house. We would take tons of vacations. I've experienced more as a child than I will likely ever be able to experience as an adult. My parents were in the medical field. My step-father is much older than my mother. His children will likely inherit whatever is left after their many travels (which I support- spend it rather than leave it). It just never was a "thing" for me. I realize now that some of the guys I dated were probably more into the money than me... and that some of my friends were as well, but I'm a housewife now. 2 kids. Living a simple life. The people who were really there for me are still a part of my life. The people who thought that I was some sort of cash cow have vanished. It's still it's a perfect existence.

Not "rich" rich, but dad is a doctor so we're slightly above average. My best friend growing up lived down the street from me, in a smaller house with her family. I started to notice that she mentioned stuff about maybe having to move because they couldn't pay for the upkeep, or moving onto a boat (houseboat). She wore hand-me-downs and her family didn't have a computer for each member (which was insane to me because my dad and mom needed separate laptops for work, and my brothers and I went to private schools so we each needed our own.) Basically, I started to notice that her family struggled with things mine never had.

Also when a Native American girl at my elementary school had a cell phone and when I asked her why she said "the government gives my foster mom money so she'll look after me." Made me realize how different some people's lives are.

My greatest realizations have probably come from my boyfriend who I met in college. His family wasn't 'poor' but they didn't have huge amounts of cash lying around and had times when things were tight. Whereas for me growing up we thought nothing of saying "going to the x house this week!" So just casual conversations with him are always interesting. He often tells me I'm hilarious.

My dad did make it his mission in life to make sure his kids understand that so many people struggle, we all volunteered with charities. But the thing with those extremes is that you are still clueless about the middle part.

Grew up with money and then we lost it all, parents got divorced, etc.

Moved into a condo with my mom when I was 10. Had never in my life seen a can opener or ice tray since we had automatic ones for that.

My mom said that was when she realized how privileged, but sheltered we had been.

I found it weird that although I knew many people who were unhappy with their looks, non of them would ever consider plastic surgery to perfect their flaws as I did. That was when I realized not many people have $10k lying around for cosmetic surgery.

I grew up in a upper middle class neighborhood and went to public schools in the area that were full of kids just like me. I thought I was pretty middle class. Then, I got to college and realized that some people's parents weren't paying for their college, or their housing, or their books, or their groceries, or their transportation. I guess I kind of grew up in a bubble.

Mid 20s. I grew up in a McMansion on the east coast. Multiple vacations a year, annual Disney trips, got a car when I turned 16 etc. Ever see those buzzfeed listicles about being a rich kid in the 90s - I had everything on those lists, multiple gaming platforms, iMac… my class ring had diamonds in it (so stupid). I didn’t realize that wasn’t normal until I started dating people and going home to meet their family. I was very much in a bubble of similar people growing up and my parents were not great at teaching us how other people lived.

I never realized how well off I was as a kid because the entire community I grew up in were people of similar income. In fact, compared to some of my neighbors we had less (our house didn’t have a pool).

One summer my father had a business trip to Hong Kong and took me along for a change of pace. During the trip he took me down to the poverty-stricken slums through a local contact. I still remember this more than 30 years later and taught me to take things for granted.

I was born into a wealthy family in a little town in Russia. In my very early years I lived like any other working class family, my parents lived in a small apartment that they got from their parents. It wasn't until my little brother was born that I realised that my family was wealthy. Just before we brought him home from a hospital, my parents had built a 6 storey house, just for the 4 of us, in the heart of the city.

As a child I never really questioned it, my parents didn't really spoil me, I thought it was the norm, until I started going to school.

I had a friend that would often come to my house after school but one day we went to her 1 bedroom apartment that she lived in with her parents. (She was by no means poor, it was just the norm) After that we stopped coming to my house as it made me a bit uncomfortable.

I knew that my family wasn't poor, but also knew that we weren't the richest. I never bragged about my family's wealth, if anything I was always jealous of how close my friends were with their parents since I've barely seen mine.

I for some reason took upon myself an idea that my parents' wealth was not mine. To this day, I don't ask my parents for anything, as I don't want them to feel like I'm only speaking to them because I want money.

TLDR: When I first went to my school friend's house, but eventually always had a gist of it.

I didn't grow up rich but I was rich in comparison to the people around me since I was raised in a poor environment. My parents were from Asia and lived the stereotypical American dream immigrant story and came to this country really poor, when I popped out, they had made it to the point we were able to call ourselves "middle class" but bc I still grew up surrounded by minorities and attended city public schools where people around were scrapping by, I hated my environment personally and never felt safe, I was seen as rich by some of those around me, even though my family still lived the humble lifestyle: clipping coupons, waiting for on sale events, saving money.


I eventually won a scholarship to a Private University and met truly rich people. I was a lot happier in this environment bc it was safer and people were a lot nicer but sometimes originally envied the people that had such a truly easy life. I eventually came to recognize money is really relative, and I was rich compared to most of the world and really came to appreciate things when I thought about how screwed up and unfair life could be and decided to get involved in community service work and even spent nights staying at shelters, breaking bread, living, and befriended many of the poor.


Many of the people around me, though poor, were incredibly nice, and when I speak with them and they tell me stories of having to not even be able to afford leaving their state, not being able to even go to college bc of finances, being still stuck working min wage jobs, or even worse, no job, I came to realize and really appreciate I was really blessed in many ways and today I just graduated college not too long ago actually lol and truth be told, and while still lost what I want to do career wise, know it's a life long passion to do something I can give back to society.

Grew up with rich but deeply dysfunctional parents.

It was a situation where my parents were rich but my siblings and I were dirt poor.

I was planned but my parents resent spending a penny on me and never let me forget it.

They were always pointing out people with less money, so there was never a moment when I didn’t know that other people weren’t as rich as my parents.

They are the definition of being “so broke that all they got was money”.

I grew up in the Northeast US. We went to Disney World twice a year each year. This was in addition to many other vacations we would take throughout the year. We’d always stay at a deluxe resort, stay for a week, etc. I found out when, during our senior high school trip to Disney World, that that’s not normal and that Disney is typically a “once in a lifetime” trip for a kid, not a regularly scheduled vacation.

And I now live in Orlando and go to theme parks all the time…

On the bright side, I do appreciate how my parents were extremely into making sure that we knew that rest is essential and that it’s good to take breaks from work and school. I now go on about 1 vacation every 3 months (thank you, unlimited PTO!) and my wife and I do a weekend trip every month.