Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how emotionally mature you can be; there will always be a little resentment towards those who have done you wrong in the past. And yeah, we can forgive, but forgetting is an entirely different story.
Especially if it all comes down to your identity. Having your entire persona being questioned and put into check at school, when you’re nothing but a young teen trying to go through one of the most difficult years of your life, isn’t easy, and today’s story is all about a man who was bullied throughout high school, and suddenly, the universe gave him a chance to get revenge on his tormentor.
Read more: Reddit
A lot of us choose to overcome our traumas through therapy, but when life gives you a chance for revenge, you may not act so logically
Image credits: yanalya / Magnific (not the actual photo)
A man recalled being tormented as a kid by another teen, whom he calls Jake, all because he was the only black person at their school
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
His school work, social life, and even morals were all put in jeopardy because of Jake, who spread malicious rumors about the teen for years
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
As an adult, he tried to be better than Jake and became a massage therapist, and by chance, he once made a friend at a HIIT class that turned everything upside down
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The woman turned out to be Jake's wife, much to the man's surprise, and she sometimes complained about their marriage problems and about how Jake was toxic
Image credits: Best-Pirate5073
With this information, the man advised her to seek a therapist, which then gave the woman the strength to leave her marriage, and thus ruin Jake's romantic life
The story today is quite hard to read, and it’s told from the perspective of our Original Poster (OP), a man who is trying to come to terms with his actions. As he explains, he was the only black person at his school growing up, and if the social alienation that comes with being a minority wasn’t enough, there was also a white boy who seemed to make it his life’s purpose to bully him. The OP calls him “Jake.”
Apparently, Jake made up all kinds of rumors about the OP, ranging from claims that he was aggressive to accusations that he used illegal substances, and he even called him racial slurs. He would also actively try to sabotage the teen’s schoolwork, and according to the OP, his first real relationship ended because of Jake. He was a bully through and through, and he had no consequences because he came from a wealthy family.
Fifteen years later, however, he met a woman in a HIIT class and became friends with her. Over time, while in class, she shared that she was having marital problems and vented about her husband’s short temper and behavior. But when she showed him photos from a random vacation, the OP realized that the man she was married to was Jake. And then he came up with a plan.
Whenever the woman would vent, he would tell her that she shouldn’t have to put up with her husband’s behavior and that it was a lot for her to handle alone. Eventually, he advised her to seek counseling, until, one day, she told him she had decided to file for divorce, adding that it was with his help that she found the strength she needed to seek help and to end the relationship. He felt vindicated but also guilty.
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
This is quite the complex moral conundrum. It goes without saying that bullying itself can have a heavy psychological toll, but racial isolation is a whole other beast. Experts have coined the term “weathering,” which describes how chronic stress from racial discrimination and isolation can wear down the body over time, even at a biological level. Which is why the mental wound may have still felt so fresh years later.
It isn’t surprising at all that the OP feels guilty over his actions, either. While he didn’t directly harm Jake, and arguably helped the wife leave a toxic relationship, psychologists have often noted a paradox that comes with revenge: it can feel satisfying in the moment, but later lead to guilt or discomfort when it clashes with a person’s self-image or moral code.
It raises the question: what should the OP have done? To put it plainly, many therapists would suggest “addressing the ghost, not the man.” In other words, working through the trauma itself rather than trying to solve it through a situation that reactivates it. With therapy, he would work on internal resolution, and this chance encounter wouldn’t have carried so much emotional weight.
That said, most netizens didn’t see it that way. They praised the OP for what they saw as a satisfying revenge story that didn’t involve direct harm, but instead involved a friend helping another friend. But still, the question remains: were the OP’s actions justified, or should he have stepped away from the situation entirely and focused on healing instead?
The man felt guilty, but netizens were incredibly satisfied with this revenge story for not directly harming anyone, but still getting the message across
