Updating a resume is one of those tedious parts of finding a new job. Unless you have done it a lot, it can be hard to even quantify your literal life experience into a few bullet points. So it never hurts to seek out some help. Or, if you want to feel better about yourself, take a peek at what not to do.
Someone asked, “Employers, what can someone put on a resume that sends it straight to the shredder?” and netizens shared all the questionable choices they have encountered. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorite examples, and be sure to comment your own thoughts below.
#21
Like a lot of companies nowadays we do blind applications, no mention of age, gender, name, where you studied etc. allowed on the part that goes to people doing the evaluation.
We also attract a lot of applicants from prestigious universities, some of whom _really_ feel the need to find a way to mention the name of the institution in their competency answers as though it will help more than actually demonstrating that you are a good candidate for the job. Technically I could throw your application away, I usually won't unless you're especially obnoxious about it but it definitely does not help.
...oh but one person did add "MENSA IQ" to their application in response to a question that had no relation to such information and that did get rapidly dropped because that's a huge 'I'm going to be insufferable to work with' red flag.
*EDIT* oh and the personal statement that began with 'as a large language model...' didn't get very far.
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62points
#22
A couple we didn’t shred but definitely did not call and saved for future laughs:
- “Can cook anything related to a potato” (followed by the longest list of potato dishes I have ever seen and this job did not involve food in any form)
- In special memberships section: “Have a blockbuster card”
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61points
#23
One resume I got while managing a head shop included how much he could bench and the characters he played in high school theater. He was in his late mid twenties.
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58points
#24
Make sure you attach the right file. I once had somebody attach his court summons for a DUI charge. Instant deny.
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57points
#25
I once got a resume written in crayon.
51points
#26
I once put that I ruled France from 1693-1702 with an iron fist, invented the letter G, was a world class Candyland player, and was a unicorn rancher in my cover letter.
The job was an IT position at an advertising company that went on and on about how creative everyone that works there is. After I listed my above accomplishments, I said, "OK. So maybe I haven't done all of those things listed above but I have (list of boring IT c**p)."
I got an email the next day from HR saying that was the best cover letter they had ever gotten and they'd hire me without even interviewing me based on it but they were a Mac business and all my experience was on Windows.
49points
#28
They didn’t list a single job. Their only experience was several years of jiu jitsu.
48points
#29
I had someone once put “mom to child actor” and she listed that she homeschooled on set and managed their schedule and things of that nature
I had someone else who put “babysitting Daniel” she made him eat his vegetables among other things. It was cute.
My absolute favourite was a guy who wrote his attributes landscape in italics on a piece of paper that had a background of a unicorn on a cliff with a sunset. He came and asked for it back when he wasn’t hired.
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41points
#30
I'm sure a lot of us have made mistakes on our CVs. I once changed my email address but forgot to change .co.uk to .com and the interviewer asked me about it at the end of an interview for a job I did not get.
The worst I've seen is from a girl named Clairfe. What an interesting name, is it Irish? My colleague showed me the application form handed in alongside the CV, where CLAIRE had managed to spell her own name right.
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36points
