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Edit: I showed this comment, and some of your responses, to my mother when I visited her earlier. She got all teary-eyed and gave me a big hug. Thank you for the wholesome moment, random strangers on the internet ❤️.
Respect is not given, it’s earned. This is exactly what many young people feel today. Rather than holding their parents in high regard just for being their caretakers, the youth seem to be questioning why they should give respect just for the sake of it.
To understand more about this phenomenon, Bored Panda reached out to Camilla Miller. She’s a parenting expert at Keeping Your Cool Parenting, dedicated to helping people enjoy family life and build deep, connected relationships that last a lifetime. Camilla offers practical guidance on raising confident, independent children while fostering mutual respect and harmony at home.
She said: “In recent years, I’ve noticed a shift in how young people perceive their parents, with respect not always being a given. Many parents grew up in a time when authority wasn’t questioned—you just did as you were told. But today’s kids are being raised in a world where questioning things is normal.”
“Kids are growing up learning to think for themselves, so if parents expect blind obedience without explanation, it’s bound to cause friction. Respect goes both ways, and parenting today is about guiding, not just controlling,” Camilla added.
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I miss my dad. Or rather, I miss who I thought he was.
Many of the posters in this list mentioned that they didn’t like the hypocrisy of their parents, and that’s what eventually affected their relationship. As they became older, they realized that kids were always told to listen to their elders’ words and not to follow their actions. This is because parents would end up doing the exact things they cautioned their children against doing.
There are so many other reasons why kids might stop holding their parents in high regard. Camilla Miller said that things like “parents not listening to their children or dismissing their opinions can lead to a breakdown in respect. When [they] are unpredictable or don’t follow through on promises, it can undermine trust.”
“Parents who aren’t emotionally present or supportive may cause children to feel neglected. Pressuring kids to meet high expectations without understanding their needs can breed resentment. Lastly, parents who are dishonest or betray their child’s trust can cause long-term damage to the relationship,” she added.
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Their siblings, otoh? Oh, no, those people are terrible. I hope they get their comeuppance. My cousins are 50/50 on the decency scale.
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Which usually meant ‘do as I say or I will punish you’.
Now that I am holding my parents to their own standards… it’s ’let’s just rug sweep this and pretend it didn’t happen because I don’t remember it, tee hee.’
So yeah… we don’t talk.
It might feel like all doom and gloom to see your parents in this new light. Nobody wants to lose respect for their mom or dad, especially because it can affect their relationship with them. That’s why it’s important to first understand that our parents are people too, and they tried their best with all the resources they had available.
Camilla explained that “as we get older, we start to see our parents as real people, flaws and all. We realize they’re not perfect, and that’s a good thing. Over time, we’re bound to clash on opinions, beliefs, and even things like politics.”
“One of the best ways to handle it is to just agree to disagree. You can both be right in your own way! And as kids, we can also help our parents see that some things they did or said in the past might not fly in today’s world. It’s about creating a space where both sides can share, learn, and respect each other’s views,” she said.
#10
I have two kids of my own now, one is 6yo and the other is 6 months old.
I hadn't put much thought into the way my mother treated me as a kid, until I had kids myself. Now, I look into my sons eyes and think about how much they mean to me... And then wonder how the hell she could have ever treated me that way.
It all came flooding back and I just couldn't maintain the relationship.
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Parents and kids often clash on sensitive issues like politics, religion, their beliefs, and values. As many of the folks in this list shared, having such disagreements with their parents is exactly what pushed them to lose respect for them. Moms and dads might also feel this way, and wonder why their kids are out to cause so much trouble for them.
That’s why Camilla explained that “parents need to remember that children aren’t extensions of them; they’re their own people with opinions, likes, and dreams that deserve to be heard and honored. Raising kids isn’t about control; it’s about guidance. When parents respect their child’s individuality, they create a foundation for mutual respect.”
“Respect can’t be demanded—it’s earned. If a relationship is strained, the best way to rebuild it is by showing respect first. Listen without judgment, apologize when necessary, and treat your child’s feelings as valid. When children feel seen and valued, they naturally reflect that same respect back. It’s a two-way street, and it starts with us as parents,” she shared.
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I don’t hate them, but I do resent them a little. I recently gave up on trying to get them to budge on things. They’re too stubborn and too good at avoiding confrontation. I have to accept them as they are. When they’re ready to ask questions, they’ll be ready for answers.
#14
I'm not mad that boomers had it good. I just want to make sure they understand that pulling on bootstraps doesn't fix the housing crisis and cost of living.
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Every person would love to have a good relationship with their parents, and that can be possible with a little bit of effort from both sides. Parents need to realize that their kids can have their own opinions and thoughts, and children need to recognize that their parents are also capable of making mistakes.
It’s not easy to forgive, forget, and move on, but if the bond is precious, then maybe it’s all worth doing. What do you think?
#16
But he has dementia now too so it's not like he notices how disappointed I am in his positions and ideals later in life 🙃.
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Having my own child brings back memories and makes me rethink stuff he did not only back then but more recent as well. So yeah some loss of respect.