From her end, relationship expert and breakup coach Nancy Ruth Deen shared some actionable tips, the first being to go for after-work walks. She does it with her husband of seven and a half years, where they go for 15 to 30-minute walks to get some fresh air and communicate without phones in hand.
Another tip she shared is to talk about the highs and lows of the week every Sunday before bed.
“Life can feel very routine and busy, so we celebrate and close each week by acknowledging the actual events and moments that meant something to us,” she shared.
A lack of sense of humor can apparently make or break a relationship, according to licensed psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten, a.k.a Dr. Psych Mom. According to her, the main issue of some of her clients is that they don’t find their partner funny.
Dr. Whiten says sense of humor is a proxy variable for intelligence. It means that the lack of it may cause a person to think their partner isn’t very intelligent, and may lead to a lack of respect.
“If partners can't make each other laugh, they frequently don't feel very connected to one another and don't feel seen or known by the other,” she said.
Licensed family therapist Lea Trageser, LMFT, shared a similar comment, stating that people often forget to stay connected to joy and play with one another. She says couples tend to overlook this aspect when life becomes serious and issues about mortgage/rent payments, children, and navigating family dynamics arise. To address this, Trageser recommends having one hobby in common and one that is separate.
“This fosters partnership, connection, and joy while also honoring each person individually. Bonus points for demonstrating curiosity and showing interest in each other's individual hobbies,” she adds.
When it comes to addressing conflict, relationship therapist Anna Joseph, LCSW, provided a valuable tip: externalizing the problem. As she explained, it is simply about viewing the issue as “us vs. the problem” instead of “me vs. you.”
As an example, Joseph used the frequency of attending social engagements. She advises viewing such an issue as 'my partner and I have different preferences in how often we hang out with friends, and that’s the problem,' instead of 'my partner wants to hang out with friends too much/too little, and that’s the problem.'
“It is a subtle shift, but it can really change how we address a conflict,” she noted.
