17 Green Flags In Relationships That An Expert Says Often Matter Most In The Long Run

According to John Kenny, one of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is focusing so heavily on attraction, chemistry, or avoiding red flags that they never stop to define what healthy compatibility actually looks like for them personally. Through his coaching work, John helps people identify the “green flags” they genuinely need in a partner, not based on social expectations, fantasy, or surface-level attraction, but on the qualities that create emotional security, connection, and long-term fulfillment. “One of the things I cover in coaching people to attract and create the relationship they want is knowing what the green flags are for you — what you really want and need from your prospective partner,” he explained.

For John, understanding those green flags is not simply about dating more successfully. It is about building relationships where people feel emotionally safe enough to be fully themselves. “Having a clear idea of these will enable you to experience an open, accepting and deeply connected relationship,” he said. That idea resonates strongly in a culture where many people spend years learning how to protect themselves from unhealthy dynamics, yet receive very little guidance on recognizing emotional consistency, mutual respect, healthy communication, or genuine compatibility when they finally encounter it.

John also points out that relationship education is something most people never truly receive growing up, despite how deeply relationships shape emotional well-being and overall quality of life. “This isn't something we are taught, but will make the biggest difference to your quality and fulfilment in life,” he shared. His perspective reflects a growing shift in relationship conversations away from performative romance and toward emotional health, self-awareness, and the everyday behaviors that quietly determine whether a relationship becomes supportive, stable, and sustainable over time.