#3 With All Of The Posts I’ve Seen About Unhelpful Partners, This Feels Appropriate
Welcoming a baby into your family is one of the most exciting things a couple can do. The choice to start a family is a big one, and after 9 months of anticipation, couples are over the moon when they finally have a living, breathing, adorable little child cradled in their arms. But as beautiful as the miracle of life is, welcoming a baby into the world certainly isn’t easy.
The majority of new parents lose between 1 to 4 hours of sleep per night during their child’s first year, which can take a huge toll on their mental and physical health. This can make moms and dads less alert, more irritable and even more prone to feelings of anxiety and depression. Not to mention the fact that taking care of a little one is a 24/7 job that leaves very little time for cooking, cleaning and of course, relaxation.
To learn more about what it's like to be a parent, especially a new mom, we reached out to Sharon Tjaden-Glass, blogger and author of Becoming Mother: A Journey of Identity. Sharon was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share why it's so important for new moms and dads to have support systems of other parents.
"Relationships with other new parents provide you with much needed validation that what you're going through is incredibly challenging and stressful," she says. "The support and camaraderie that you build with other new parents can help relieve that stress and reassure you that new parenthood isn't easy for anyone. Every new parent carries a different universe of struggles specific to their personalities, backgrounds, families, and cultures."
Sharon also opened up about one of the unexpected challenges that she faced when becoming a mom. "I had a terrible time breastfeeding," she shared. "Letting go of breastfeeding was the first of many moments when I had to let go of a vision of how I thought new motherhood would be for me — and accepting what it was. It's an important lesson to cultivate gratitude when you need to take another path in life."
We were also curious what Sharon would like people who don't have kids to understand about what being a parent is like. "How much time and effort it takes just to get to work to start a workday," she told Bored Panda.
"When I had a baby and a preschooler, I had to pack and load 7 bags of stuff everyday for me and my kids. Diaper bag, two backpacks, three lunch bags, and my work bag. It took 2 hours of preparation and transportation before I ever turned on my computer," Sharon explained. "And then there was more work at the end of the day. It's so much."
"I also didn't fully appreciate how expensive child care would be," Sharon added. "When I had two young children in full-time daycare from 2013-2019, we paid about $24,000 a year. In some states, the costs are much higher."
Sharon also shared some wise words for moms and dads who are about to become parents for the first time. "Never underestimate the importance of a strong social support network around you," she says. "It is always better to move closer to support systems than further away from them. If you are trying to choose whether to move somewhere for a new job where you have no social support or stay in a current job that isn't your dream job but is closer to social support, trust me: No job is worth the sacrifice of having no social support."
