Among the many undoubtedly wise pieces of advice regarding family life, there is one that in relationships that have clearly exhausted themselves, you should find the strength to let go and move forward. Well, the father of the author of our story today definitely overdid it - he began looking for a new relationship without ending the current one.
What makes him look even uglier here is that the man had three kids, and his wife, while he was looking for love on the side, was in hospice with cancer. However, let's give the floor to the user u/Virtual_Credit_9458 - the son of this guy.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is 17 years old and he lost his mom to cancer 4 years ago
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
The teen's father did not behave so decently back then, dating other women while his wife was in hospice
Image credits: Virtual_Credit_9458
Moreover, when the woman passed away, the man literally withdrew from parenting, thus the author had to take care of his younger siblings on his own
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Virtual_Credit_9458
The father recently remarried and his new wife delivered a baby several months ago
Image credits: Esma Karagoz (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Virtual_Credit_9458
The stepmom made it clear that she expects the author to help her with babysitting and whatnot, but the teen brushed her off
So, the Original Poster (OP) is now 17 years old, and he honestly admits that he doesn't have a good relationship with his father. It all started four years ago, when the mom of the author and his younger siblings was terminally ill, and their own dad at that time was actively looking for a new relationship. According to the OP, while his mother was in hospice, he caught his father with two different women - and this became a seriously traumatic experience for the boy.
Moreover, after his wife passed away, the man completely retreated into his own life, essentially putting the responsibility of taking care of his siblings on his eldest son. Yes, the original poster and the younger kids really had to grow up early - and somehow the boy honestly admitted to his dad that he never wanted to be like him.
Several years passed - and the OP’s dad met another woman, quickly got married to her, and after a couple of months, she was already pregnant and lived under the same roof with the author. The woman tried to build a good relationship with her new husband’s kids, but they weren’t particularly eager to communicate with her.
The author’s stepmom recently delivered a baby, and neither he nor the younger siblings, as the OP says, perceive them as a member of their family. And when the new mom said that she was expecting the author to help in babysitting and whatnot, she faced a sharp and flat refusal. According to the teenager, he’s not a helper to his stepmom, and in case she needs help, then she should ask her husband or hire someone.
The stepmother called the speech 'disgusting,' but the original poster is adamant that he and his siblings are doing the right thing. However, the teen still decided to ask other people online for some kind of advice.
Image credits: JÉSHOOTS (not the actual photo)
“To be honest, I feel sorry for the kids involved in this situation. The newborn child - because they are certainly not to blame for anything, and, of course, the three other kids who had to face such a difficult, traumatic experience at such an early age,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment over this situation.
“Yes, the teen, apparently, transferred his rejection of his dad to his new family, but in such a situation this is quite common behavior. Even if the circumstances of the separation of his biological parents were not so tragic, many teens do perceive step-parents quite hostilely. But here everything is complicated by the father's behavior."
“Be that as it may, if the stepmom knew the history of this family, then turning to the eldest son for help in taking care for a baby after he actually had to perform the functions of a father for several years seems rather cynical,” Irina ponders. “It is likely that this boy and his siblings will need to seek therapy in the future, and I am truly sorry that they had to go through this.”
By the way, yes - the stepmom actually knew all the circumstances that happened four years ago, according to the OP answering commenters’ questions, and this didn’t stop her from trying to justify the guy’s behavior. However, now the man, as his son says, is also not particularly bothered to participate in taking care of his 4th offspring. “He’s semi-around but not very involved,” the author wrote in the comments to the post.
In general, the point of view of most people in the comments is almost unanimous - the OP was totally right here. "You've done nothing wrong and are under no obligation to do anything for this woman," one of the commenters literally expresses everyone's opinion. "At least if she’s been warned she can’t play victim or act surprised when the father plays around on her as well." So do you, our dear readers, agree with the opinion of the commenters here?
Most of the people in the comments were completely unanimous - the author actually did nothing wrong here
