The internet is full of memes about how scary it is to go to the doctor by yourself and about how people in their 20s ask their parents to make an appointment for them. They also don’t want to go alone or talk to the doctor themselves. It’s just a joke, and if it’s a regular visit, we have to pull ourselves together and go for our own good.
When it’s totally not appropriate to go to the doctor by yourself is when you are pregnant and you are going to check how the baby is doing. The baby didn’t start growing in a woman’s belly out of nowhere, so it is expected that both parties who contributed to it would show up for the check-up.
But that’s not always the case and this woman actually was really upset with her husband and to punish her husband, she didn’t tell him their baby’s sex. His wife’s silence infuriated the man, but the woman is not cracking, even under his family’s pressure.
More info: Reddit
Pregnant woman’s husband didn’t come with her to her doctor’s appointment, so she came up with the most perfect punishment for him
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) and her husband are expecting their first baby and the woman says that they are both excited, but what makes the readers doubt is that the dad-to-be never goes to any doctor’s appointments that are related to his baby.
The man’s logic is that he isn’t the one carrying the baby, so there is no need for him to show himself to the doctors, as he has more interesting things to do, like watching soccer or playing board games with friends.
Although he agreed to come with his wife to the scanning appointment that shows the baby’s gender. He was coming until the last minute, when his friends invited him for fish 'n' chips, and he thought that was a good enough excuse to skip accompanying his child’s mother to the doctor’s appointment.
The author of the story went for her mid-pregnancy appointment, during which usually the baby’s sex is revealed if the couple wishes to
Image credits: u/Thrownoreveal1
This really upset the OP and she had the right to be. It’s hard to imagine what was going through her head and how abandoned she felt. At least her mom was free to join so she didn't have to go completely alone.
The dad not coming for this appointment is a bigger deal than you would think. You may say that he doesn’t care about the sex of the baby and will love it either way, but the appointment is not just about that.
The ultrasound scan that is offered when the woman is between 18 and 21 weeks pregnant when the sex can be determined is also called the anomaly scan, according to Baby Center.
The married couple was supposed to go to it together, but the husband’s friends invited him for some fish ‘n’ chips last minute so he went along with them
Image credits: RODANAE Productions (not the actual photo)
An anomaly scan’s purpose is to make sure that the baby is developing normally and check the placenta as its position is important. Baby Center stresses that “The main purpose of the scan is to check that your baby is developing normally, rather than tell you your baby’s sex.”
While the scan can’t pick up every condition, it still is a medical examination and the specialist can have a closer look at the “baby's bones, heart, brain, spinal cord, face, kidneys and abdomen. It allows the sonographer to look for 11 rare conditions.” Even the NHS themselves suggest you take your partner with you because of what conditions may be discovered.
This wasn’t the first time the man skipped his wife’s pregnancy appointments to be with his friends, so it infuriated her
Image credits: u/Thrownoreveal1
We can assume that the OP’s baby is developing according to plan, as she doesn’t mention anything, but that doesn’t make the hurt go away. So to punish her husband, the woman decided not to tell him what their baby’s sex is.
The OP successfully returned the feeling of frustration to her husband because he was really mad that she purposefully refused to tell him anything, knowing it was because he didn’t come with her.
The man didn’t think him missing the appointment was a big deal because her mom went with her and because he was the father, he had the right to know. Funny how selective the man is about what parts of his child’s unborn life he wants to know and which don’t concern him.
To give back the favor, the woman decided to allow her husband to find out the sex of their baby when it’s born, which caused the expected reaction
Image credits: u/Thrownoreveal1
The woman was stern and didn’t give up to her husband’s requests. She didn’t budge even after he complained to his family and they started pressuring her to stop “playing mind games.” And the husband went as far as asking his mom to call the OP’s doctor and ask about the results, but she got nothing. However, the incident led to another argument.
Although the woman clearly expressed that she is not compromising, people in the comments believed that in this situation, she has to hold on to it. They were pretty concerned about this marriage and the husband's ability to be a present dad when he isn’t involved right from the start before the baby is born.
This is a hill the soon-to-be mom is willing to die on despite being called immature and pressured by in-laws to quit playing games
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
Image credits: u/Thrownoreveal1
We would like to hear your evaluation of the position the pregnant woman is in now. Would you say that there is hope the husband will be an attentive dad and he just really doesn’t understand the importance of being there for his wife during her pregnancy? Or are these real signs that have a direct correlation to what kind of father he will be? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
People in the comments encouraged the woman to continue what she started, but warned her that she might need to raise that child alone
