Moving in together is one of the most exciting and committing steps in a relationship. As great as it is, it can also bring some stress. No matter how hard couples believe that they are great for each other and already know so much about one another, living together might change these beliefs. So it’s great when people take time to prepare for this step and notice what could go wrong in the beginning. At least that’s what happened to Reddit user @napsandhugs who wanted to know whether she was wrong for refusing to teach her boyfriend how to do some of the basic household chores.
More Info: Reddit
Moving in together with your partner is one of the most exciting yet committing steps in a relationship
Image credits: Alper Çuğun (not the actual photo)
The 20-year-old woman started her story by sharing that she and her 24-year-old boyfriend were thinking about moving in together. The narrator also revealed that she was living in her own apartment while her boyfriend still lived at home. Their plan was to find an apartment where they could live together.
A Reddit user asked people online if she was right for refusing to start living with her boyfriend after she found out that he doesn't know how to do basic chores around the house
Image credits: napsandhugs
After finding out that his mom does everything for him, the woman suggested that he should learn some of those things before they move in together
Image credits: napsandhugs
Once in one of their conversations, the woman found out that her boyfriend doesn’t do his own laundry. She then asked him if he knows how to do any of the basic things that need to be done around the house: cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, etc. The man admitted that he didn’t do any of those things, and he also never had to budget his money. This is when the author of the post started debating whether they should really move in together.
Image credits: napsandhugs
Her solution was that he should first learn how to basically take care of himself, so that she won’t end up doing everything by herself once they move in together. The guy was thinking that the best way would be for her to teach him everything.
The boyfriend seemed to be against the idea that he should learn everything by himself or ask help from his mom
Image credits: napsandhugs
This is when the couple’s opinions shifted in opposite directions. The woman is now afraid that she would have to take on a mother/teacher role and wants him to learn these things by himself, by asking his mom or finding other helpful methods. She agrees that once he’s ready to be responsible for some of these things, they would be able to move in together.
This idea wasn’t appreciated by the boyfriend who said that it’s crazy to postpone the move and that they can figure out this problem once they start living together. This put the girlfriend into a tough position where she wants her boyfriend to learn these things by himself, as she doesn’t want to become a person who goes after him doing everything in the apartment alone. She also admitted that she feels bad because she refused to teach him everything herself.
Image credits: napsandhugs
The woman asked people online what they think about this situation as she got lost between what she thinks is right and what her boyfriend suggests
Image credits: napsandhugs
The situation that received more than 15k upvotes started a debate among other online users who were sharing their opinions and experiences. A lot of them agreed that the woman is right in this situation and that if ignored, this problem can lead to bigger issues. Some of the users revealed that they found themselves in a similar situation and that it didn’t help that they refused to talk about this at a certain point, because later in life it led to being used.
What is your opinion on this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
Member of the online community agreed with the girlfriend saying that the boyfriend should learn these things before they live together
Some people shared their own experience of being "trapped" by partners who wouldn't help around the house
Many couples find themselves navigating the challenges of living together, especially when one partner hasn’t yet mastered some basic responsibilities. For those interested in understanding how to better support and encourage growth in their significant others, exploring practical advice for men about daily habits and personal accountability can be very helpful.
This guide on essential tips for men offers insights that complement the concerns raised in situations like these.