Grandparents are normally enthusiastic about spending time with their grandchildren. They’re the ones who would typically spoil the kids with sugary treats or allow them to be up way past their bedtime.
However, that was not the case for this old couple, who actually disliked the idea of playing the babysitter role to their son’s daughters. They even went so far as to accuse him and his wife of abandoning their parental duties.
The dad eventually found out about his parents’ true feelings and decided to stop having them around his two girls. As expected, it sparked some family drama, with his sister also joining in and taking sides.
Most grandparents would be happy to spend time with their grandkids
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / freepik (not the actual photo)
But for this older couple, babysitting their son’s daughters seemed to be a burden
Image credits: jet-po / freepik (not the actual photo)
The man later learned about his parents’ true sentiments about watching over his daughters, prompting him to act
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)
His decision led to tensions within the family, with his sister joining in and taking sides
Image credits: aitachildcare
Manipulative parents often act under the guise of love
Many people who grow up being manipulated at home are often unaware of what they went through. That’s because their parents may have masked their behavior as acts of love.
According to licensed social worker Dr. Karmen Smith, “Manipulation can take many forms, and it’s often subtle or disguised by love.”
Dr. Smith says that using help as leverage is one way manipulative parents act, in which they use “kindness” as a form of control. Turning family members against each other and playing the victim are other ways they can do this, all of which the man’s parents appeared to have done.
“They’re really just trying to take the focus off themselves and make you look like the insensitive one. Their goal is to make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself,” Dr. Smith wrote.
Author, veteran litigator, and aging expert Carolyn Rosenblatt says older parents, in particular, become manipulative because they either fear losing independence, are lonely, or may be suffering from personality disorders.
Image credits: lipik / freepik (not the actual photo)
When it comes to dealing with manipulative parents, one of Rosenblatt’s first pieces of advice is not to take the bait.
“When your aging parent manipulates you, they want your emotional reaction. If you respond by arguing or getting defensive, it fuels the behavior,” she wrote in an article for Forbes, noting that simply remaining expressionless and silent can be very effective.
Meanwhile, Dr. Smith urges limiting contact, especially if a parent’s behavior is already becoming detrimental to the child’s mental health.
“It may not be forever, but your number-one goal must be to protect yourself right now,” she said, adding that limiting exposure to manipulative behavior is step one to healing and growth.
In this story, the man was within reason to limit his parents’ contact with his children. And since everything got more toxic with his sister’s involvement, it may benefit him to distance himself from the family, even just for the time being.
The man provided more information about his story
Many readers sided with him
Others faulted everyone involved
While a few thought he was in the wrong
