It’s common knowledge that a kid should never be exposed to the stresses of adult quarrels – however, sadly, there are instances when you simply can’t help it.
Take this Redditor, for instance; they have a granddaughter who’s not biologically theirs and a son who never trusted them to watch her before he finally got divorced and started needing some help!
More info: Reddit
Son and daughter-in-law never allowed the OP near their grandkid
Image credits: Caleb Oquendo (not the actual photo)
The couple didn’t “trust” them, despite the fact that they’d raised 4 kids
Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas (not the actual photo)
Image source: u/FaithlessnessWild215
“AITA for refusing to babysit my grandchild due to her not being my biological grandkid?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities to ask its members if they’re indeed a jerk for refusing to babysit their son’s kid whom he never let them watch prior to his divorce. The post managed to garner over 14K upvotes as well as 2.9K comments discussing the situation.
You know what they say, “Family is the glue that holds us together through thick and thin”! It’s the ultimate support system that unconditionally loves and accepts you despite literally anything; you get a sense of belonging and a full piggy bank of sweet memories you’re bound to cherish forever.
Sadly though, life is a cruel thing, and it just so happens that not everybody gets to have a positive experience with their loved ones.
There are a gazillion and one things that can destroy family bonds – however, as one of the subreddit’s members pointed out – you can’t just burn bridges and then wonder why you can’t cross them!
We can’t know for sure why the OP’s son and his now ex-partner were so against them seeing their grandchild; perhaps they did have some valid reasons, or it was pulled out of thin air – whatever it is that drove them to this decision, the majority of us, if not all, can agree that it’s highly unfair on the author of the post, especially considering how they didn’t even see the girl on Christmas.
Judging by how the man started to ask for help with baby duty once he’d split up with his spouse, there’s a possibility that maybe it was the woman who played a part in the idea, as it’s very confusing why a person who raised four kids was practically banned from developing any sort of bond with their – not biological, but still – granddaughter.
There’s no happy ending to this story as of yet – however, the OP did manage to stand up for themselves, and in my humble opinion, I believe that it’s already good enough.
The guy then got divorced and started needing some help with childcare
Image credits: Josh Willink (not the actual photo)
To get a broader perspective on the matter, Bored Panda decided to reach out to a couple of experts. Our first interviewee is Hannah, a rainbow-loving mom of 8-year-old twins from Surrey and blogger at Hannah and the Twiglets. We asked Hannah whether she thinks that the original poster handled the situation well, and if not, what they could have done differently: “I think in this instance, the issue is actually not so much about the child not being the poster’s biological grandchild, but the fact that the poster was not trusted to babysit the child in the past. I can understand that the poster may feel resentful, as it appears that the family are using her when it suits them, despite nothing having changed about her home environment (which they had previously said was unsuitable). However, if it really is about the child not being her biological relative, then she is absolutely being unreasonable. The child is very much a part of the family and being treated differently could have devastating effects on the child’s self-esteem and mental health.”
We also pondered if the woman had any advice for those who might be going through a similar situation with their family: “If a child is part of a family, they should be treated as such, whether they are related by biology or not. There are many, many ways to be a family, and being biologically related is just one of them.”
However, his parent shut him down and reminded him that he had long made it clear that they weren’t good enough
Image credits: Carlos Torres (not the actual photo)
BP then posed similar questions to our second interviewee, Abby, who provides millennial women with a space where they can find helpful information to make their everyday lives easier while they start and grow their families, and also got some noteworthy insights: “In my opinion, she handled it as well as she possibly could have. She communicated to her son how she felt and why she felt that way. However, we’re not clear on the tone in which she communicated – perhaps her tone in speaking to him about it would have made a difference in how he received it.
I’d advise anyone in a similar situation to focus on the relationship they have with their own child, as a strong relationship between you and your child will affect how you treat and view the people in their lives whom they also love. I’d also advise them to be honest and clear in communicating how they feel but to speak the truth in love so that it will be well-received.
I’d love the readers to know that in all family situations, speaking from a place of love is always the best way to communicate. Empathy is also a great place to put yourself in before you start difficult conversations with your family members.”
So, now that we’ve got some interesting commentary, what is your take on the story?
Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions
