Everyone wants what’s best for their loved ones. It warms your heart to see your sibling succeed, your parents find joy in their hobbies and your children form meaningful connections with friends.
But because we care so deeply about our family members, it can be incredibly hard to bite your tongue when they bring someone into their life that you don’t approve of. One sibling recently reached out to Reddit detailing why they don’t want their brother’s new girlfriend attending their family Christmas this year. After seeing how she behaved on Thanksgiving, they decided that she’s no longer welcome. So below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
This person was less than impressed by how their brother's new girlfriend behaved on Thanksgiving
Image credits: alrasyiqin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
So they've decided that she won't be welcome at Christmas this year
Image credits: gstockstudio / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: s**tdripfairy
Later, the author shared a few more details about the situation
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Holidays are often tense for families
The holidays are all about relaxing, taking some time off from work and spending quality time with loved ones. If you live far away from your parents and siblings, this might be the one opportunity you have all year to cuddle up with them on the couch, watch your favorite movies and catch up on what you all have been up to.
But holidays as an adult are much different than they were as a child. Now, you get to see not only your family members, but also their partners and children. And if you’re not a fan of your sibling’s significant other, well, you might have to keep that information to yourself. Or if you choose to share it, you may need to be extremely delicate.
When it comes to disliking your brother’s girlfriend, HubPages recommends first identifying exactly what it is about her that bothers you and why. Are you intimidated by her? Are you jealous of something about her or her lifestyle? Are you scared that she’s going to ruin the vibe in your family? Or are you worried that she’s going to break your brother’s heart?
Try to get to the bottom of whether or not you actually have a valid reason to be concerned about their relationship. At the same time, remember to take her past into consideration. Try to get to know her, and ask her questions about herself and her family. If you can understand where she’s coming from a bit better, you might be able to understand her behavior.
Meanwhile, try to see her from your sibling’s point of view. Clearly, he likes something about her, so try to determine why they work well together. Maybe their relationship is an “opposites attract” situation. Perhaps they perfectly balance each other out. Do your best to stay open-minded.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
It's best to be open-minded about a sibling's significant other
Don’t be afraid to look inward too. It’s possible that she is toxic and will be terrible for your sibling. But it’s also possible that you’re projecting and doing something to create more tension.
And finally, HubPages suggests figuring out what boundaries you need to set to have a peaceful relationship with her. Your sibling’s partner does not have to be your best friend, but you can’t avoid her forever. And if you want to maintain a relationship with your brother or sister, it’s best to be respectful of their significant other.
The reality is that 40% of families will fight during the holidays anyway. And these arguments often revolve around politics, family dynamics, past grievances, relationships and finances. So even if you loved everyone that your siblings brought home, there’s still a great chance that arguments would erupt on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
And if you’re really having trouble getting along with your sibling’s partner, The Everymom recommends always making sure there’s a buffer around when you spend time together. If you don’t have to sit next to her during dinner or spend one-on-one time chatting with her in the corner, it might be easier to get through an evening together. Know your limits, and try to prevent any potential conflicts from arising.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think it’s fair for the author to ban their brother’s girlfriend from Christmas? Feel free to weigh in, and then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar drama right here.
Readers were split, as some found the author's feelings valid and others thought that they were overreacting
