Growing up, most of us are taught that our parents know best. But once you’re an adult, you might realize that your mother and father don’t actually have all of the answers, and they’re just as prone to making mistakes as you are.
One frustrated person reached out to the internet for advice after their parents decided to make some questionable financial decisions. Below, you’ll find the full story that they shared on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers left them.
This person has always been eager to help their parents with their finances
But when their mother and father decided to go rogue, they realized it was time to stop providing free services
It may be difficult to get your parents to see you as an adult, regardless of your age
No matter how old you get, your parents will likely always see you as their little baby. You can be married with a successful career, and three kids of your own, and your mother and father might still be surprised that you can change a tire or prepare an elaborate dinner.
Sometimes it’s nice to be coddled. When all of the responsibilities of the adult world feel like too much, it’s nice to know that you can always retreat to Mom and Dad’s for a home-cooked meal and some cuddles. But other times, it can be extremely frustrating to realize that your parents will never see you as a fully-functional adult.
According to Sue Kolod, PhD, it’s quite common for parents to continue treating their kids like children regardless of how old they are. She explains that parents can’t help but worry about their little ones, even if they haven’t been little for decades.
But it’s also common for adult children to regress when in the presence of their parents, which can be another contributing factor. If your mother and father say or do something that reminds you of the dynamic you all had when you were a teenager, you might unconsciously start behaving as you did back then too.
This might reinforce the idea to them that you actually haven’t grown up, making them even more likely to treat you like a child. Plus, no matter how successful you are in your career, your parents probably aren’t ever going to get to see you in that setting.
You might manage a large team or an entire company at work, but when you visit Mom and Dad, you’re hanging out on the couch and playing board games. So it’s natural for them to view you as the same version of yourself that they’ve always known.
Setting boundaries with parents can be uncomfortable but necessary
If this treatment from your parents starts to take a toll on your relationship or mental health, however, it might be time to start setting boundaries with them.
Therapist Samantha Waldman notes that this likely won’t be easy, but it can be helpful to remember that it’s not meant to be an ultimatum, a punishment, or a demand that your parents change.
Healthy boundaries can simply be refusing to discuss a certain topic with your parents or making it clear that you’re only available during certain times. You may need to set boundaries about when they’re allowed to visit, what they’re allowed to give you advice on, or how much privacy you need from them.
As long as you communicate clearly and kindly, your boundaries shouldn’t become an issue. Now, if your parents refuse to respect them, you may need to be more assertive or perhaps even take some time apart.
But you have every right to protect your peace and your mental health by explaining to your mother and father that they’re not entitled to every aspect of your life at all times.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think the author made the right call by refusing to help their parents with their finances any longer? Feel free to weigh in, and then you can find another article from Bored Panda featuring similar family drama right here.
Later, the author replied to readers and shared more details about their situation
Some readers even told similar stories from their own lives
The vast majority assured the author that they had every right to set boundaries with their parents
