Having a beloved parent die is a pain that people carry in their hearts for the rest of their lives. It is especially traumatizing when it happens to children, as there was so much they could have experienced together but didn’t get a chance.
Nobody can truly replace a late mom or dad, but people have to move on with their lives, which may mean inviting a new person to the family. Children may be resistant and may not be able to stand the thought that a stranger could become their new mom or dad, but this didn’t happen with Reddit user AITA9906. She actually gave her dad permission to marry that woman, but his fiancée showed her true colors right before the wedding.
More info: Reddit
Teen confided in her dad about a weird request his fiancée made and now the wedding is on pause, making her feel guilty for causing trouble
Image credits: Eddy Van 3000 (not the actual image)
The Original Poster (OP) is a 16-year-old who lost her mother 8 years ago. As she describes herself, she is the carbon copy of her mother: she has the same hair, the same eyes and she can achieve the same face shape with the right makeup.
After her mother’s death, the teen became very close with her father and considers him to be a great parent and a person who she can trust. It seems that the family was happy before the tragedy because the OP saw how much her dad loved her mom and how he suffered after losing her.
The OP is a 16 Y.O. who lost her mom when she was 8 and now her dad is about to marry his girlfriend of 3 years
Image credits: u/AITA9906
The dad must have been young when he lost his wife, so naturally, he got into a new relationship. He has been with his current girlfriend for 3 years and their wedding is coming up. The daughter is happy for her dad and when he approached her with the idea that he might want to marry again, she didn’t try to stop him.
Apparently, the girlfriend is a nice person and the teen gets along with her well, even though she admits that this woman won’t be her mom. However, there were a few moments when the two of them weren’t on the best terms.
The teen doesn't oppose the wedding and quite likes the woman, but at the same time, doesn't consider it a big event in her life
Image credits: u/AITA9906
Turns out that the dad came to his daughter first with the idea of marrying the woman, and that didn’t sit well with the girlfriend because she wanted to be asked first and then discuss the matter with the OP.
The woman was also disappointed that her stepdaughter didn’t want to get involved in the wedding party because it’s not really that big of a deal for her. Instead, she will be looking after her uncle’s kids and will give a small speech about the couple.
Although the two of them get along, it seems that the fiancée has a problem with the daughter being too similar to her mom
Image credits: u/AITA9906
After that, there weren’t any incidents worth mentioning, but recently, after the family went shopping, a comment the dad’s mom made stuck with the fiancée and she couldn’t let it go.
The girl’s grandmother remarked how similar the daughter is to her mother when she tried on an olive green dress as her mom loved the color because it complemented her ginger hair.
A few days after this shopping trip, the fiancée came to OP’s room and asked if she could dye her hair or wear a wig for the wedding day. It’s a weird thing to ask, but the teen didn’t want to know the reasons and just refused.
She asked the OP to dye her hair or wear a wig for the wedding as she didn't want to hear about how she looks like her mom on her big day
Image credits: u/AITA9906
The fiancée tried again and explained that she didn’t want everyone telling the OP she looked like her mother on the wedding day. At this point, the teen wanted the woman out of her room and reassured her that there was no way to change her mind.
It was the first time the woman had showed animosity towards the man’s late wife and she had even complimented the teen on her hair before, so it seemed to come out of nowhere. It caused concern to the OP, so she told her dad about the weird request.
The girl refused and then told her dad about what happened, which resulted in a conflict that made him postpone the wedding
Image credits: Hair Spies (not the actual image)
Image credits: u/AITA9906
The dad told his daughter that “there's no way [she’s dyeing [her] hair for the wedding unless that's what [she] wants.” The daughter confirmed that she actually doesn't want to do that and promised to talk to his fiancée about it.
The couple got in a pretty big fight and the wedding is now postponed. Outrageously, the fiancée's family is blaming the teen for causing troubles and not compromising for just one day.
The OP feels guilty everything turned out the way it did because she didn’t mean to get rid of her dad’s new girlfriend or anything. She went to her dad because she finds it difficult to communicate her view to the woman, because the 16-year-old is often seen as a brat when she disagrees with something.
The fiancée's family blames the teen for causing trouble but at least her dad doesn't even think of forcing his daughter make any changes to her looks
Image credits: u/AITA9906
Image credits: Randall Sansom ( not the actual image)
In the teen’s mind, it may seem that she caused trouble and that she ruined a relationship, especially when the woman’s family blames her, but for redditors, it was clear as day that the teen did the right thing and actually, they admired the dad too for discussing such matters as marrying a new woman with his daughter first.
People thought that it was very inappropriate for the woman to ask a child for such a thing and the way she looks is her personal matter that nobody can boss her around about. Such behavior indicated that the fiancée was jealous, insecure and immature.
Do you feel that the fiancée's behavior could be justified, or do you think that this is what she really is like and the impression of a nice person was just an act? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
People in the comments were quite exasperated at the fiancée's request and hoped that OP's dad will end up not marrying that woman
