Most folks want to be there for their family and support them, but it can be tough to do so if they are entitled or toxic. In such cases, it’s more important to set boundaries, but this can be a struggle for the people who genuinely care about their relatives.
This is what one new mom faced after her selfish sister and narcissistic father expected her to let them move in because their home was affected by a fire. Even though she had escaped from their clutches many years before, she found it tough to turn down their demands.
More info: Reddit
Toxic family members will often try everything in their arsenal to control and manipulate their loved ones
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that she had escaped from her entitled dad and sister many years ago and moved in with her husband, and that they recently had a baby
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The new mom was exhausted due to parenting and work, so she felt unsure what to do when her father and sibling asked to move in as their home caught fire
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster found it hard to have her dad around due to his medical issues and equipment, and her sister’s cat aggravated her husband’s allergies
Image credits: DC Studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster eventually decided to put her husband and child’s safety first and set boundaries with her dad and sibling
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She refused to let her father stay at her house, and got her sister to move out too by covering two nights of her hotel stay
It seems like the poster had quite a strained relationship with her family, which is why she decided to move away from them and stay with her partner. She had also mentioned that they were irresponsible, kept borrowing money, had narcissistic tendencies, and generally didn’t seem to care about her that much.
In such cases, psychologists usually advise setting boundaries and taking space from the toxic individuals. Although they might still push back against rules or try to wedge their way back into the person’s life, this line in the sand can help protect their peace and slowly change the difficult dynamic.
That’s exactly what the poster had done, but she found herself in a tough spot once again when her father and sister reached out for a place to stay. Since their house had been affected by a fire at their neighbor’s place, they didn’t have anywhere else to go and expected her to look after them.
Obviously, most people want to be there to support their family when they are in need, but when relatives are entitled or toxic, it might actually help to stay away from their drama. Experts explain that although a person might feel guilty for not being there for their family, they should let them figure things out on their own. This can help protect their mental health and save them from possible conflicts.
Image credits: DC Studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman did feel sorry for her father and sibling, so she decided to let them stay at her house. Unfortunately, her dad’s medical conditions and equipment were causing too many logistical problems and could also affect her baby’s health. Apart from that, the OP’s husband was struggling with his allergies due to her sister’s cat.
Things started getting worse after the poster’s sibling became rude and disrespectful when she was confronted about her feline. That’s when the couple decided that they needed to set boundaries immediately, and after some discussion, they told her that she would have to move out within two weeks.
According to professionals, after a person sets rules with any toxic family member, it’s important not to blame themselves. Even though they might feel guilty about having such boundaries, they need to recognize that it’s an act of self-love, and that the other person would just keep taking advantage of them if nothing was done about it.
Luckily, the OP worked up the courage to finally put herself, her baby, and her spouse first, which is why she told her dad and sibling to leave. She also covered the cost of two days stay at a pet-friendly hotel so that her sister could move there immediately.
What do you think of the woman’s decision, and have you ever had to set such boundaries with anyone? We’d love to hear from you.
People were shocked by the dad's and sister’s behavior and felt that it was good that the poster finally made them move out
