Asking friends and family members to babysit your kids is not a crime. In fact, many parents, especially single parents, rely on their village to get through parenthood. The problem is that these people may not always be available, and what if a parent desperately needs a break?
One mom decided to lie when she asked her sister to babysit and went on a romantic trip with her boyfriend. However, she told her sister she had a work emergency and asked her to cancel her plans so she would babysit. After her sister found out the truth, she was understandably mad and vowed never to babysit for her sister again—even if she had a real emergency.
A single mom faked a work emergency so that her sister would agree to babysit
Image credits: shapoval08 / Envato (not the actual photo)
In reality, she went on a romantic getaway with her boyfriend, and when the sister found out, drama ensued
Image credits: AirImages / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: RavenKing88
Many parents can’t afford to pay nannies and rely on family members for child care
Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
It takes a village to raise a child, and not every parent has that village. Single parents are disproportionately affected: even if they rely on relatives, family members, and friends, there’s often just not enough people who can grant parents a free day or a weekend.
You could say that the U.S. is currently in a childcare crisis. This year, the Center for American Progress reported that almost half of children in the U.S. live in “child care deserts”, areas where it’s particularly hard for parents to find childcare. And it’s not just about finding someone to babysit for an evening or a weekend: parents have it hard finding spots at child care and early education centers, too.
According to a 2019 survey by the National Center for Education Statistics, 79% of single parents have a hard time finding childcare, while 75% of two-parent families say the same. The most common complaints are that child care centers are too expensive, too far away, and don’t have enough available spots.
Regarding this particular story, you might ask: why can’t the mom just pay a babysitter or a nanny for a night or a weekend? The answer is that she probably can’t afford to. This is a big issue for parents, especially single parents. So much so that many parents report being unable to achieve economic stability because child care costs are holding them back.
In 2021, the U.S. Department of Labor and the U.S. Women’s Bureau found that paying for child care is often more expensive than covering rent. In all 50 U.S. states, the cost of having two young children in a child care center exceeded the average cost of rent in that state. Many single parents spend almost all their monthly earnings on child care, as it can cost up to 75.1% of a single-parent household's income.
Single mothers are prone to burnout and may not directly ask for help if they need it
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
What the single mom in this story did was clearly not okay. As the sister mentioned in her story, she would’ve been okay with babysitting the kids if her sibling had been honest and admitted she needed some time for herself. Perhaps that’s all she had to do — say that she didn’t have money for another babysitter and desperately needed some time off, and her sister would’ve agreed to watch her kids.
Single parents often rely on informal child care and family members to look after their kids. According to a 2022 survey by the Bipartisan Policy Center, 72% of single parents rely on unpaid child care from relatives.
Another problem is that many parents (mothers especially) feel ashamed to admit that parenthood is making them burnt out. So, instead of being honest, they may lie, like the mother in this story did, because they feel like otherwise their family members won’t help them.
In 2022, researchers from Ohio State University found that 66% of American working parents meet the criteria for parental burnout. Sometimes, there just aren’t enough hours in the day for work, children, and self-care. 42.5% of single mothers, for example, get fewer than seven hours of sleep a night, while 31.2% of moms in two-parent households are in the same boat.
It’s not okay to trick family members into babysitting for you, but single mothers do deserve someone noticing when they need a break. Single parents rarely get time for themselves, so having relatives who regularly check in can be a godsend.
Commenters sided with the sister and thought the grandma should volunteer to babysit instead of lecturing her
