Stayed in a long term relationship with someone struggling with a*******n and alcoholism because I saw the addictions as a type of mental illness, and what sort of partner would I be if I abandoned him when he was sick?
Then, I had my first serious illness since we had met, and missed a lot of work, had to stay home for almost a month, and he was unemployed at this time. He started to get very obviously irritated with me; for being home all day so he didn’t have any alone time, for making him feel the pressure of returning to work because I wasn’t working so I wasn’t bringing in any income. I suddenly had this moment of clarity where I realized he was the only one allowed to be sick in our dynamic, and while I had been playing nurse for years, he really didn’t like when I got to be sick—as if it was a choice—especially when it interfered with his routine. I left him a few months later when my health improved.
He passed away about a year later, as his health deteriorated rapidly after I stopped caring for him. I definitely feel some guilt in the matter even though I know I can’t blame myself for the poor choices of an adult man who was almost in his 50s.
Then, I had my first serious illness since we had met, and missed a lot of work, had to stay home for almost a month, and he was unemployed at this time. He started to get very obviously irritated with me; for being home all day so he didn’t have any alone time, for making him feel the pressure of returning to work because I wasn’t working so I wasn’t bringing in any income. I suddenly had this moment of clarity where I realized he was the only one allowed to be sick in our dynamic, and while I had been playing nurse for years, he really didn’t like when I got to be sick—as if it was a choice—especially when it interfered with his routine. I left him a few months later when my health improved.
He passed away about a year later, as his health deteriorated rapidly after I stopped caring for him. I definitely feel some guilt in the matter even though I know I can’t blame myself for the poor choices of an adult man who was almost in his 50s.