I used to work at my school’s all-you-can-eat cafeteria. One day, a visiting football team from a rival school came in for lunch. One of the players, a big guy, walked over to the fruit table and loaded up his plate with watermelon. Then he headed to the condiments and slathered the whole thing in mayonnaise. I watched, half amazed and half horrified, as he ate what looked like half a watermelon and half a jar of mayo in one sitting. It was honestly one of the most bizarre and impressive things I’ve ever seen.