I want to add what drove me away, as a kid.
I was never protected. They protected their church and its members from me— from my truth-telling. They never protected me from them.
They didn’t let me feel my feelings. I had to bury every hurt, every fear, all my sad feelings. They left me to deal with what was happening to me all by myself. I was the loneliest kid in the world in a family of 8.
They didn’t heed warnings or get us adequate help when s**t came to light. They broadcast their own hurt, and made it known our hurt was a burden, so we didn’t dare add to it, and again, suffered by ourselves.
When chickens came home to roost and my emotional and physical health went to hell, they judged the s**t out of me.
When I started to leave my agoraphobic cocoon and live life again, and got f*****g assaulted by a predator, when I called them crying about it, they blamed me.
When I left the church that contributed to the life time of abuse, they ostracized me. My dad verbally berated me and called me vile names on the direction of my mother. My mom spread so much s**t that ALWAYS made its way back to me. (Moms, do not do this to your children.)
When I started trauma therapy, they called me crazy. They went on a PR campaign within the family smearing me. (Wonder why??)
I have been betrayed so many times by my parents, and I am covered in visible and invisible scars because of it. They treat me like I’m an embarrassment, like they wish they could change everything about me.
They’re the ones who drew the line in the sand. They made it impossible to be in a full relationship with them and still love and honor myself. .