My dad has done a host of epic things in his life, and some of them are in the history books, but the most significant to me is the deliberate work he put into being a loving and present father, despite the logistical challenges presented by his lengthy and distinguished naval career. Despite frequent deployments during the first 17 years of my life, my dad made sure that we stayed connected and that I could always reach out to him. After retiring from the Navy, he taught us about reinvention, launching into a second full career with a side hustle that continues to this day.
He would buy children’s books while on deployment and send them to us with recorded cassette tapes of him reading the books to us to always be available for bedtime stories. He set up flower deliveries in advance for birthdays, phoned in additional orders for unplanned milestones like losing teeth, and when sending my mom flowers for her birthday and their anniversary, would also order a small one for me. I still have all the letters he wrote from his various deployments, tucked away in a box, along with many of the small interesting items he brought back. When he was home, he would set aside time for each of us, to teach us things like riding a bike or fishing. He fully supported my interests as a child, helping out with Girl Scout badge activities and always offered to take my cookie signup sheet into the office (and then my mom would ship all the cookie orders out to the ship, the true MVP of cookie season).
Moving frequently was difficult on me, especially as a teenager, and when he was home, he would make time in his day to drive me to school or pick me up for lunch to make sure we had time to talk. (Even if it was often me venting teenage angst over chicken nuggets.) His driving lessons were unique and valuable to this day. Having been a flight instructor, he was unflappable and calm in the face of a slightly overwhelmed newbie, pointing out that while it seemed tough to me, it was easy mode for him - we were on the ground and nobody was shooting at us. He passed along his belief in safety through maintenance, and delegated important tasks to me at an early age, providing guidance and feedback while teaching me how to do things like plan a cross-country road trip at the age of 10. He encouraged me in my frequently changing hobbies, even if he didn’t always understand the appeal of things like LARPing. While I was never enthusiastic about yardwork as a kid, we share an interest in gardening now, and it’s been so rewarding getting to teach each other things as adults.
He never let logistical complexities get in the way of being there for us, despite being half a world apart all too often and occasionally needing to fight a war. We have never had cause to doubt his love or commitment to our success, even if our paths to becoming fully functioning adults was meandering and had its hiccups. He and my mom demonstrated that lengthy separations are a challenge, but far from insurmountable with good communication and dedication. Over 50 years together and they are still setting an example for me in my own 20 year marriage.
I’m going to stop here in the interests of time, this could probably be a book.
TL:DR: My dad is awesome because of how he never let anything (even major world events) get in the way of being my dad.