In 4th grade we were learning about Native Americans and had a homework assignment to come up with Native American sounding names for ourselves. I chose “Spotted one” because I had a lot of freckles back then.
The next day when we were revealing our new “Native American names” I just so happened to be sitting next to the biggest crush of my life at that time and, being a stupid 10year old, thought that farting by her would make her laugh and like me. I kept ripping a*s inside of this giant teepee with all of my classmates stuck inside it, the teacher growing more upset.
When it was finally my turn to reveal my name and explain why I chose it, that crush of mine said, “it better be O Stinky One!” and everyone started laughing at me. Panicked, I had to think of something quick… I said, “oh yea, you thought those were bad, wait until you smell this one…!” And tried as hard as I could to rip the loudest and smelliest fart of all time, only to completely s**t my pants on front of everyone. Umbros were super popular at that time (1994) and they did me no favors here. Diarrhea was all over the floor. Kids were screaming and running out of the teepee as quick as possible and it ended up collapsing on me, alone, in my poop teepee.
The teacher made everyone go outside to calm down and called my mom to come get me. I was so embarrassed and begged my mom to never make me go back to school. It took them forever to coerce me to leave the poop tent and they wrapped me in towels and carried me out to the car. I was carried by all of my classmates who were all screaming at me and laughing. I remember closing my eyes and basically faking like I was dead, hoping it would all go away. They weren’t falling for it.
Almost 30 years later and it still gets brought up to me at least once per year. Kids are mean. 💩😂