Getting a salad that's not chopped is infuriating to me. I don't have a chef's knife at the restaurant table. This is especially egregious when the salad is served on a small plate and I have a dull butter knife. It's no wonder so many Americans don't like salads. They've never had a well balanced, chopped salad and instead get a plate of full leaves, giant rings of raw onions, and huge tomato slices on a freaking tiny plate. I'll even order, "can I get this salad chopped please?" And they will stare at me like I'm crazy and tell me that's not possible. Ok, then can I go back there and chop it myself? I know you have a knife!
Sir, calm down we are definitely not getting you a near a sharp knife.