This is something *HE* thought was creepy, but I stand by to this day.
My ex used to avoid regular agreed upon adulting tasks in the household, and when I'd bring it up, he would say he didn't notice or forgot about it, and asked me to simply remind him, or make a honey do list (which I did).
After that, whenever I reminded him he would get defensive and say "You JUST asked me to do that... give me a chance to do it myself" (no matter how many days, weeks, months he'd been avoiding the tasks that were piling up, and the physical list just hung on the fridge).
We had one of those calanders on the wall, that you flip through, and on the bottom was a space to fill in notes. I took the list off of the fridge, and began writing the tasks in the calendar each month (even though the list kept getting longer and longer).
If a month went by without a task being done, I put one dot after the task per month it had been on the calendar. I did this because he knew where the tasks were, and I wanted to lift the burden from myself of being gaslit.
It took this mf SIX MONTHS to ask why some tasks had one or two dots, while some had 5. When I told him that's how many months the tasks had been on the calendar, he turned beet red in anger and embarrassment, but immediately started storming around the house performing all of the tasks that were on the list (that didn't even take him more than that day to complete).
He told me it was uncalled for, and weird that I'd kept track like that, but it was simply a way for me to remove any accusations of nagging, and the gaslighting he was doing when he kept lying about how long he'd been avoiding doing the tasks.
My ex used to avoid regular agreed upon adulting tasks in the household, and when I'd bring it up, he would say he didn't notice or forgot about it, and asked me to simply remind him, or make a honey do list (which I did).
After that, whenever I reminded him he would get defensive and say "You JUST asked me to do that... give me a chance to do it myself" (no matter how many days, weeks, months he'd been avoiding the tasks that were piling up, and the physical list just hung on the fridge).
We had one of those calanders on the wall, that you flip through, and on the bottom was a space to fill in notes. I took the list off of the fridge, and began writing the tasks in the calendar each month (even though the list kept getting longer and longer).
If a month went by without a task being done, I put one dot after the task per month it had been on the calendar. I did this because he knew where the tasks were, and I wanted to lift the burden from myself of being gaslit.
It took this mf SIX MONTHS to ask why some tasks had one or two dots, while some had 5. When I told him that's how many months the tasks had been on the calendar, he turned beet red in anger and embarrassment, but immediately started storming around the house performing all of the tasks that were on the list (that didn't even take him more than that day to complete).
He told me it was uncalled for, and weird that I'd kept track like that, but it was simply a way for me to remove any accusations of nagging, and the gaslighting he was doing when he kept lying about how long he'd been avoiding doing the tasks.
