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I was raised in a Muslim family. Islamic law allows a man to have 4 wives. My father was married to my mother for 25 years. When I was a teenager my mother found out he was married to another woman in another country. My father would go on many "business" trips and it turns out he was really just visiting his second wife. My mother was extremely angry when she found out and went to the US courts to get a divorce. But in Islam, the man has the power of divorce. In order for a woman to obtain a divorce she has to go through an Islamic judge or in a case where we live in the US with no Islamic judges around, an Imam. Well the local imams didn't think she had reason to be granted a divorce since polygamy is allowed in Islam. So my mother suffered for a few years while my father continued being married to her and this other woman. I tried to convince her to forget about the Islamic divorce and just divorce him by the US courts, take half of their property, and never speak to him again. But of course she didn't feel like she could go against the Islamic way. So eventually she kinda grew to accept it. It was hard on us because at one point we went through a rough financial time, and I got sick and had a lot of medical expenses. My father lost his job at one point and we did not have insurance, and so times were already hard but harder due to the fact that he was splitting his money between my family and his other wife (he had no kids with her but Islamic law requires a man to provide for all of his wives. So even though she was employed and had her own money he still had to give her money).
We all hated my dad for the longest time. He finally divorced his second wife and after a few years we really haven't forgiven him but he lives far away anyway.
I think an important thing to remember about polygamy is how the allocation of resources affects the kids. You have to remember that the average Joe in the US cannot support 15 kids from 5 different spouses. Even if both parents have a steady income, it's not fair to expect one spouse to sponsor your kids 80 percent while you poly give them 20 percent because you have 10 other kids from 3 other wives to worry about.
I was raised in a Muslim family. Islamic law allows a man to have 4 wives. My father was married to my mother for 25 years. When I was a teenager my mother found out he was married to another woman in another country. My father would go on many "business" trips and it turns out he was really just visiting his second wife. My mother was extremely angry when she found out and went to the US courts to get a divorce. But in Islam, the man has the power of divorce. In order for a woman to obtain a divorce she has to go through an Islamic judge or in a case where we live in the US with no Islamic judges around, an Imam. Well the local imams didn't think she had reason to be granted a divorce since polygamy is allowed in Islam. So my mother suffered for a few years while my father continued being married to her and this other woman. I tried to convince her to forget about the Islamic divorce and just divorce him by the US courts, take half of their property, and never speak to him again. But of course she didn't feel like she could go against the Islamic way. So eventually she kinda grew to accept it. It was hard on us because at one point we went through a rough financial time, and I got sick and had a lot of medical expenses. My father lost his job at one point and we did not have insurance, and so times were already hard but harder due to the fact that he was splitting his money between my family and his other wife (he had no kids with her but Islamic law requires a man to provide for all of his wives. So even though she was employed and had her own money he still had to give her money).
We all hated my dad for the longest time. He finally divorced his second wife and after a few years we really haven't forgiven him but he lives far away anyway.
I think an important thing to remember about polygamy is how the allocation of resources affects the kids. You have to remember that the average Joe in the US cannot support 15 kids from 5 different spouses. Even if both parents have a steady income, it's not fair to expect one spouse to sponsor your kids 80 percent while you poly give them 20 percent because you have 10 other kids from 3 other wives to worry about.