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#3
Just let's my brain know to move along. .
“A red flag is behaviour that indicates that a (potential) partner may not be right for you. This could include anything from dishonesty to manipulative tendencies. For example, if someone constantly talks about an ex-partner on the first date, it might indicate that they’re not emotionally available," said psychologist Judith Klenter to OpenUp.
Even though red flags aren't the same for everyone, there are some universal ones that shouldn't be ignored by anyone.
"There are some universal red flags—things like violent behaviour, excessive jealousy, controlling tendencies, or any actions that indicate manipulation or emotional abuse. These are behaviours that should always be taken seriously," Klenter explained.
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Red flags are quite fluid, as what one may consider a dealbreaker might not be an issue for someone else. Also, some warning signs can be present from the beginning, while others develop over time.
“Relationships are constantly changing, because people are constantly changing. In relationships that end in abuse, it is often the case that this only happens at a later stage in the relationship and not during the so-called honeymoon phase," Klenter added.
#7
We talked for hours. Or, she did.
When she wanted another date I said sure, if you could tell me my name.
There was no other date.
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It's not only a bad implication, its also a weirdly confrontational thing to say before anyone has even said "hello.".
Spotting red flags is important, as they can help you avoid unhealthy relationships and protect your emotional well-being. If certain (potential) partners' behaviors make you feel guilty, drained, or uncomfortable, they should be taken seriously and inspected further.
“If you notice a negative trait, it is good to reflect on whether or not this is a red flag," said Klenter.
"Check whether this behaviour has happened more often without you noticing it. Discuss it with your friends or someone you trust to gain some more clarity on the situation."
This can be especially useful, as someone outside the relationship can spot the red flag better than you can.
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One of my favorite memories of my wife and I while dating was when we wanted to go out on a date but I didn’t have any money as it was between pay days. She smiled and said she’d gladly take me out and pay.
That was the best pizza I had ever had.
That was 14 years ago and to this day she’s still a kind and sweet person that is always willing to
Meet you where you are and go together thru anything.
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#15
Accurately and precisely discerning your emotions and thoughts is a good skill, cleverly embellishing behaviours and feelings with social-media-hip-psychology less so, and really just comes off as you not 'actually' doing personal work.
**-Bodyshaming**
Being obsessed with bringing other people down over how they look, especially when it's things they can't control. Seeing women do this to guys is low, seeing women do it to OTHER women? Even lower.
**-Berating/making fun of their partner in front of people**
No idea why this is so common. It's not cute or funny, and just makes you look like you hate each other behind closed doors.
#17
1) Seems to always externalize their own needs rather than self-soothe. It’s okay to need someone else to co-regulate…but _always_?
2) When a woman gets angry and acts in a very reactive or volatile way towards people, then complains or plays victim when hard boundaries get set or when they get similar behavior in return. When you’re treating people badly or actively disrespectful…what exactly kind of treatment are you expecting?
#18
