RelationshipsOCT 14, 2022

40 Times Men Did Something So Annoying, It Made Women Ghost Them Instantly

163

If you’ve ever ventured into the dating arena, and at some point we all have, you’ve probably either done it or had it done to you, or both. Yup, we’re talking about ghosting — a deep urge to cut off all communication and vaporize into thin air — which has been a part of the modern dating vocabulary for years.

This simple, silent adieu can strike daters at virtually any time. You might realize you have nothing in common by the end of the third date. Or you may discover there’s literally zero chemistry between the two of you right before the three-month mark. But as it turns out, sometimes all it takes is one rude, infuriating, and straight-up creepy conversation.

Several days ago, user Bock314 reached out to the women of 'Ask Reddit,' inviting them to share the things men do that make them "ghostable." And as soon as the responses started rolling in, their tales show just how bad things can get. Women opened up about the wild situations where men went too far, which made ghosting seem acceptable, healthy, and even necessary. We’ve gathered some real-life stories that tick all the boxes for what you should never do while pursuing love. So continue scrolling to check everything out, and don't miss the chat we had about ghosting with Canada-based dating coach Sally Heart.

Psst! After you’re finished with this list, take a look at our earlier pieces featuring men making questionable decisions right here.

#1

40 Times Men Did Something So Annoying, It Made Women Ghost Them Instantly

I met a guy at a bar once. He seemed like a nice guy and we exchanged numbers.

The following week, he asked me out. I told him I couldn't that night, but I was free tomorrow.

Why? He asked. I told him I had a funeral tomorrow morning and just didn't feel like going out. "What time is the funeral?" he said. "I won't stay too long, please I really want to see you..."

He wouldn't take no for an answer, and to me that is a HUGE red flag. I ghosted him after that.

imvital, mikoto.raw Photographer

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323points

#2

The last guy I went on a date with before I met my husband comes to mind. This guy and I clicked pretty fast and had a wonderful all-day adventure as a first date. He lived 1.5 hours away from me.

We were messaging for a day after the date and everything seemed to be going well. He then asked if I wanted to meet him that weekend for his friends' New Year party. I told him sorry I had plans to go to one with my friends, but I'd love to meet up the next day.

After about 10 minutes he called me. I answered all happily, thinking we were going to plan the next date. He sounded pissed and said forcefully, "You're not going with your friends to that party." "......um. why not...?" "Because other guys will be there. And you're with me." "Hey you know, I enjoyed our first date but I don't think this is going to work. " "YOU F*****G B***H. YOU'RE NOT EVEN THAT HOT ANY..." *click.*

He starts sending apology texts and after 3 back to back, I blocked and ghosted. Ew.

Had a blast at my party!

kayla182, Priscilla Du Preez

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312points

#3

Went out on a coffee date with a guy. He admitted that he placed a GPS tracker in his ex's car to track her without her knowledge.

Immediately no.

salty-MA-student, cottonbro

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302points

To gain more insight on the topic, we reached out to dating coach Sally Heart who aims to help women build the necessary mindset and strategy to find and attract the love they truly deserve. Being the creator of a free online dating safety course called Safety Hacks for Online Dating that’s designed to keep women safe from the dangers of online dating, she was more than happy to share her thoughts on the matter.

Knowing the ins and outs of the dating pool, Heart told Bored Panda that sometimes finding yourself in unfortunate situations comes down to bad luck, a lack of awareness, or a lack of seeing the warning signs that could’ve prevented these scenarios to begin with.

#4

When you've known them for a whole 10 minutes and they're already making sexual comments.

Chersvette, mentatdgt

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295points

#5

Being rude to the service staff. There is no excuse for it, and it means you are just an a*****e.

TheSecularGlass, Kampus Production

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281points

#6

Any hint of violent tendencies or general anger management issues. Immediate block, not dealing with that. If I feel threatened, your feelings about being ghosted do not supersede mine of feeling safe.

Shocking-1, Kiran KR

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242points

But as you’ve probably noticed from the examples featured in this list, nightmarish dates are all too common. A 2020 study by Pew Research Center found that around one-third of women using dating apps have been called an offensive name. And, alarmingly, six-in-ten women under the age of 35 reported men continued to pursue them after they said they were not interested. That’s double the rate that men experience.

"Often dating horror stories and tragedies happen when a woman takes herself out of public space and into a private one, where the man is in control," Heart explained. "The key is to be aware of potential dangers so you can avoid them completely."

If you’re able to pick up the signs beforehand, "the worst-case scenario becomes just a bad date who was rude to the waiter or made you feel uncomfortable with his presence or conversation — not such a horror — just a regular bad date."

#7

Talk about how they treated their exes, children, and employees in a way that demonstrates they are clearly controlling and toxic w/o realizing it.

CassBon, cottonbro

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237points

#8

If he isn't wholeheartedly and actively supporting abortion rights and bodily autonomy then that would be it for me.

is_fun_skekGra

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234points

#9

Telling me you like me better with X or you’re glad I don’t do Y like some girls. Complimenting me by putting others down is a no for me dog.

Head_Lifeguard3999, Tirachard Kumtanom

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226points

But how can you know that a guy sitting in front of you is capable of such awkwardness, rudeness, and discomfort? Well, dating coach Heart was eager to offer some of the most common red flags women should look out for. Or consider ghosting if they’re already present.

"If the creep factor is there, like weird or insidious comments that make you feel uncomfortable or even scared, things that cause a genuine concern for one’s safety, it’s enough to make women want to ghost."

"Other men are just so overtly rude or despicable that women don’t want to have to explain or even deal with the fallout of saying 'I’m not interested,'" she added. "Many of us have seen how rejection can escalate bad behavior from men, which is why some women feel safer to simply ghost."

#10

Send unsolicited nudes and still have the audacity to ask if I want some of it

Feisty-Life-6555, Dương Nhân

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217points

#11

Back when I worked night shift at the hospital. Guy I was newly dating wanted to hangout that night before my shift, around 5pm. I tried to explain that I would be sleeping until my shift, and that 5pm was like 5am to me and I did NOT want to hang out. He didn't get it. He proceeded to ignore my wishes and let himself into my apartment to "surprise" me by tickling my feet while I slept. I definitely ghosted him, and also changed the locks.

palebluedot_resident, MART PRODUCTION

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209points

#12

Giving attitude or guilt trips before even meeting. Had one guy who when I didn’t respond fast enough to his liking started in with the ‘ok well I guess you don’t want to talk then’ passive aggressive comments. Instant no.

The_Rural_Banshee, Tofros.com

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209points

Of course, ghosting is an easy and not-so-scary way to cut all ties with your date — way less daunting than having a frank conversation or typing out what’s on your mind, as well as your heart. In fact, getting ghosted is now simply a fact of life in the modern dating world. A survey by the dating site Plenty of Fish found that 78% of single Millennials — people on the site between the ages of 18 and 33 — have experienced it at least once.

#13

The second a guy suggests I'm upset just because I'm on my period I am gone.

maggienetism

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203points

#14

Call me nicknames like “sweetheart” or “baby girl” when I’ve never met them before.

HelenStocks, Inga Seliverstova

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194points

#15

One guy texted me after our first date that he wanted to put me in a pokeball so he could keep me forever and only take me out when he wanted me… and then texted a load of abuse when I didn’t reply immediately (I was trying to figure out wtf to even say to that!)

So yeah, that.

HazelKathleen, Vincent M.A. Janssen

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189points

But as anyone who's been on the opposite side of the fence knows, being ignored hurts, is confusing, and leaves you with countless unanswered questions. "It’s always recommended by me to be upfront and tell someone that you’re not interested," Heart noted.

"That said, if a woman is genuinely concerned and creeped out, it may be best to just block a number and move on. This is especially true when someone has been threatening your safety in some capacity," the coach suggested.

#16

Making demands thinking they’re being suave or manly(?)

I went out for a drink with a guy once. When the bartender came by, he ordered some drink for me that I knew I wouldn’t like. I said “No I’ll have-“ and he just interrupted me and said “NO, you’re drinking what I ordered you”.

Another time, an old friend found out I was going to be in his town and sent me a message saying “ok we’re going to hang out”. I was going there for a funeral so I said ‘no, I won’t have time and don’t feel like it’. He wrote back “LOL no we’re hanging out, you don’t get a say”.

I end up never speaking to them again.

Sea_Accident_6138

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186points

#17

Negging or other forms of “c’mon, I’m just joking” forms of devaluation. I have absolutely no tolerance for it anymore. Men if you are reading this and you do it, understand it is a form of emotional abuse and you are giving off abuser red flags.

SoFlaBarbie, Craig McKay

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183points

#18

Not respecting boundaries. Instant no.

mamalion12, cottonbro cottonbro

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175points

Even when we all know that the online dating game is not for the faint of heart, and we have all experienced a simply disastrous date at some point, the dating coach wanted to remind you it can also be fun and lead to wonderful and even long-lasting relationships. "Don’t let one bad apple ruin the bunch, so to speak. The best thing to do is to learn how to do it effectively and safely."

"The main thing to remember is that these men are strangers and should be treated as such in the beginning. I advise anyone to take my free safety hacks online dating program to be sure that they are safeguarding themselves from risk to personal safety and scammers," Heart concluded.

#19

When they come on strong sexually from the jump.

Years ago when I was on tinder men would message asking if they’d correctly guessed my bra size before even saying hi.

Or they’d ask my favourite sex position, or if I swallow, or if I’m flexible, or if I thought I could handle their d***s.

Like Jesus Christ what would compel anyone to respond to messages like that?? From someone apparently 1km away from me? Of course I’m ghosting.

And blocking.

And reporting.

crospingtonfrotz, cottonbro

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175points

#20

I got covid and had to cancel a date. I sent him a picture of my two positive tests, just to reassure him it wasn’t anything he’d done to make me cancel. Honestly he’d seemed a bit insecure when we’d talked prior to this and instead of heeding that red flag I had just offered him reassurance up to that point. He said he had a crappy ex who made him feel insecure and I felt some sympathy for him. Well, he accused me of not being interested and faking covid to get out of a date with him. As if I wouldn’t just tell him the truth and cancel? We’re in our 30’s.

I think he thought I was going to fawn all over him and beg him to hang out or tell him it wasn’t really covid or something. But instead I called him out on his sh**ty behavior and he quickly tried to backpedal and say he was just kidding (he wasn’t. It was obvious.) I left him on read and ghosted. He happened to see me on a dating app about a month later and tried to hit me up like nothing had ever happened. I ignored him.

The funny thing is, is that he had to cancel our original first date planned the week before because of a work commitment and I was totally understanding about it. S**t happens. Guess he couldn’t extend that same courtesy to me when I got sick.

Another red flag I ignored was him telling me that “girls don’t want nice guys like me, they want bad boys who treat them like s**t and that’s why I’m single, I’m too good of a guy to them.” Ugh. Glad I ghosted.

OMEGA__AS_F*CK

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165points

163