Dating in the 21st century is by no means easy. As a result, a lot of people are still single even though they would make a wonderful partner. But through various unfortunate twists of fate, it simply hasn’t worked out for them. At the same time, there are those out there who are single for a reason.
So someone asked “What is causing your friend to remain single that you don't have the heart to tell them?” and the people of the internet gave their brutally honest answers. So get comfortable, upvote your favorites, and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments below.
#1

Anger issues. In men, this is a non-negotiable red flag for most women.
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228points
#2

His standards are unrealistic. He’s a 4 or 5 on a good day but is only interested in women if they’re an 8 or higher. He’s also very overweight, but constantly points out women’s weight on dating apps and how it’s a deal breaker if they look to be anything above a US 5. I didn’t realize all of this was to such an extreme until myself and the rest of his friend’s wives sat down and went through dating profiles of different women who liked his profile just for him to continuously criticize their appearance for such mundane reasons. We were trying to give him advice on how to talk to women (per his request) and it became blatantly obvious to all of us why he was struggling. It completely changed my opinion of him.
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222points
#3

Peter Pan syndrome.
My 58 yo friend is a super nice person, but refuses to grow up...he's still mentally 21. Tries to dress like kids in their 20s. Won't date women over 30. Still clubbin (yes, he calls it "clubbin", and yes he's the cringey "old guy at the club"). Goes to skate parks to "hang". Botox his face regularly and has that awful black hair dye job he does himself at home. And talks like a 13 yo, unironically (lots of "likes", and "whatevs", and "brahs").
It's ridiculously embarrassing, and any woman who even partially has her s**t together is completely turned off by him. And he doesn't see it, no matter how gently his friends try to tell him. He calls it being "young at heart". Says that's why he won't date women in his age range, because they don't know how to have fun🙄
In reality, he won't date women in his age range because they call him on his s**t. Younger women are easier for him to control and manipulate. His parents left him quite a bit of money and he simply doesn't understand that this is why 20 yo girls date him.
In reality, he won't date women in his age range because they call him on his s**t. Younger women are easier for him to control and manipulate. His parents left him quite a bit of money and he simply doesn't understand that this is why 20 yo girls date him.
222points
#5

Her standards are excessively too high. She brings nothing to a relationship. She's a walking contradiction, all of which is why she is single.
I think it's great to have standards and high standards but hers is just a checklists of "wants".
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202points
#6

I always wondered why she couldnt get a date because she is gorgeous, until I saw her flirting with someone. First night they met, flirted, swapped numbers. Then, immediately clingy. Talking in baby voice to him and making baby noises. He made a completely inoffensive comment which she found offensive, and threatened to slap him. Not shocking at all when he never called.
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196points
#7

He really is not as nice of a person as he thinks he is.
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188points
#8

He's become a full-on incel. According to him, all "females" are going to cheat on him and use him for money (which he doesn't have). A lot of us have distanced ourselves from him because he can't stop himself when he rants that his brother (who he whines about being overweight and short) is engaged while he's still single. The man is 31 and still expects that he will meet a high income virgin who will "support him" so he can focus on his "business ideas" and have no problem having his kids while still working because he considers SAHMs as taking advantage of their husband's.
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185points
#9
Got a now ex-friend (unrelated, that f****r betrayed me and nearly f****d my career over for no discernable reason) who was way into the Andrew Tate s**t. He wondered why he could never get a girl. We all pointed to the literal misogyny s**t - not the buzzwordy type, but like actual "women are inferior beings and you should treat them as such" s**t. Wouldn't have it. Who knew treating people like trash makes them avoid you like the plague?
I'm also the single friend, but I know exactly why. I don't put myself out there, and I much prefer the solitary lifestyle. It's stress-free outside of work, and I do everything for myself with no compromising or negotiating. People are stressful, even those you love - and I'm very easily stressed. Frankly, I've got a hell of a lot of soul-searching and self reflection to do before I drag someone else into my life.
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178points
#10

He’s 38, has never lived out of home, never had full time job. Can’t cook, can’t clean and it doesn’t matter cause mommy does all that stuff for him anyway. Unemployment goes on Pop Vinyl’s and video games and renting storage for his Pops because his room can’t hold them any more.
Thinks that any kind of representation is pandering, cause he’s racist, homophobic and ableist. Women who like what he likes are either unattractive or faking it, but he can’t date a woman who doesn’t watch anime or read comic books.
He’s got really good personal hygiene tho and puts his sheets out to be washed by Mum regularly.
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173points
#11

My mate is gay but openly supports the Conservative Party, this is a turn off to most of the men he’s attracted to and ultimately his political stances stand in the way of him being happy.
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173points
#12

I have a friend who constantly attaches herself to the worst men possible, gets treated like trash, and then reaches out to us for rescue. We tell her every time that the men she are seeing are horrible. Nice guys are always labeled as boring, or she finds an excuse not to be interested. "He has dinner with his mother 2-3 times a week. I'm not dating a momma's boy " But the guy who ditched her at a concert twice? He's alright. At this point, I'm convinced she just likes being rescued
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167points
#14

He can't seem to let go of the idea that women in their 20s don't all want to date men in their 40s. Some do, that's cool, but his dating pool is very small and he is always so confused and mad by that. He just doesn't understand he's not a silver fox, he needs to give women closer to his age a chance.
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157points
#15

Desperation. From laughing way too hard at mediocre jokes to bringing up marriage on the 1st date, she reeks of it. We have all tried talking to her about it to no avail. The sad thing is that if she was just her regular funny, smart, relaxed self then men would be falling over themselves trying to get her number.
152points
#16

He has a really strange and off-putting way of interacting with women he sees as a potential partner. I’m a woman too but just a friend and he’s very nice to me and treats me well, but as soon as it’s a woman who’s a romantic interest, he doesn’t treat them like a fellow person, he treats them as something to conquer, as if he was playing a game against them and he must win it. Obviously nobody is really interested in a man like that long-term. I tried gently telling him a few times but he never seemed to really understand what I meant.
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147points
#17

He is just too catholic, he wants this perfect trophy girlfriend that has to be a virgin. The problem is that he also likes to drink too much alcohol and it’s always his way or no way. The girls that he meets are not interested in him, had boyfriends in the past, don’t like his lifestyle or ideologies of a relationship (he wants all the kids god provides).
136points
#18

She is so lovely. So kind, so generous, and so beautiful. But her crippling lack of self esteem is so huge it's visible from space, and her anxiety (and I'm 99% sure her undiagnosed ADHD) means that when she's at all nervous she talks at 100 miles an hour in several directions at once. It's like being handed 8 happy Labrador puppies to try and hold in your arms. I so badly want her to be happy and feel fulfilled but even I find it tiring sometimes.
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122points
#19

Brother-in-law, not friend. But he makes the same jokes about poop and farts all the time. Like, constantly. Yes, some women like potty-humor, but they usually also want it to be funny. He is also very negative; finds insult or something wrong with any situation.
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119points
#20
I once had a friend who was 37, had a cr*ppy job, wasn’t attractive, had a mug shot easily found on google and was a bit weird. He would always cry about being lonely, but he refused to date anyone but super hot 21 year old sorority girls. He asked me to look at his dating profile to see why he wasn’t getting any messages back…and he only messaged probably the top 1% of attractive women on the site. One time, after hearing him complain about being lonely for the 1000th time I gently asked him why didn’t he try to date a woman his own age. He said he wasn’t attracted to girls his age. He was so shallow towards women, but expected for the women not to be shallow back.
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118points




