The Lights Are On But No One Is Home: 45 People Who Realized Their SO Is Kinda Stupid

He told me there was a giant tsunami rolling in. We live in Arizona.

Edit: This story is about an ex. He was dead serious when he said tsunami. I googled the definition of tsunami and told him what it was and he proceeded to call me an arrogant b***h.

When she tried to convince me of her strongly held belief that the Blair Witch Project was real.

She wouldn't budge even after I showed her the actors names in the credits and *the actors taking part in an interview to promote the f*****g movie.*

* Edit: This was a high school girlfriend. My wife isn't an idiot as far as I can tell, but she did marry me, sooo.....

There was a trick going around that said something like, "there are two brothers. One is eight. One is half his age. When the oldest brother turns 50, how old is the younger brother?"

I had to explain to my husband a couple of times that the younger brother is not 25, but 46.

When she insisted that Kim Jong Un was the leader of North Carolina.

We sat on the porch of her rented house during university, smoking. It was nighttime, the stars were out. I saw Venus, asked her why she thought that star was *extra* bright (hoping to drop my planetary knowledge.)
She said maybe it's closer to us than the moon.
I said "What does that mean?"
"Like it's between us and the moon."
She then explained that she thought the stars float around and change their positions, and that they were small.
I ran into her house, told all her housemates, and we informed her about stars.
She's a PhD scientist.


Edit: Biology. Cigarettes.
As for it being rude of me to run in and tell her roommates, it was. But she didn't beleive me, thought I was messing with her. Told her the sun is a star and she laughed and was like 'now I KNOW you're kidding.." Went inside to confirm this with her roommates (also good friends of mine) and we all had a good laugh.
I'm no genius, can't point out countries on a map. We all have our faults, I just thought this one was particularly funny especially given that she is a brilliant scientist now (this was in 2nd year).

My crazy ex girlfriend told me a story once about her very special car. See, she thought buying gas was for other people and that her car didn't need it. Evidently she didn't realize this wasn't the case till one day, she had run out of gas on the side of the road. Her ex boyfriend had been filling and keeping her tank full, so she just assumed her car ran off the battery.

This was nearly 15 years ago, where the notion of an electric car was futurology.

When I asked him to grab the "crushed red pepper" for my pizza, and he got offended. He asked me why i didn't just say "the red flakes", and that I was just trying to sound smarter than him.

My (now ex) and I had a phone conversation that ended up with us arguing over whether lead (as in the element) was heavy. I was impressed with something she did and told her "You are smooth like lead is heavy, baby!" and she got mad at me and thought I was making fun of her.

To make it worse, she is a nurse in a burn unit.. she's helped with x-rays. She's worn a lead lined vest.

Her logic "Pencils aren't heavy and they have lead in them!".

When he insisted that kiwis (animals) were the same as kiwis (fruits). He found this photo and just wouldn't believe that it wasn't real. Just wow.

I ((un)fortunately) can say that this story is 100% true, and that as far as I could tell, he was NOT faking it. It's been a few years but I remember clearly the fervor with which he INSISTED that these kiwis were one and the same. There were many other things he did throughout the course of our relationship that made me realize he was an idiot, but needless to say, this took the cake. I think this was the point of no return, and we broke up a few months later. So, sadly, I can't troll him about Kiwis and kiwi polish -- I wish I'd had the presence of mind to do that then!

Someone I dated in high school feared that the legalization of gay marriage would cause too many people in the world to turn gay and then there would be "no more babies."

He was quite serious, and when I tried to make more sense of it he insisted we change the subject. I continued to date him for several months after that. 15 year olds should not be allowed to be in relationships...

When he saw the moon during the day, "It's not the moon. It's a reflection of the moon."

My VERY intelligent husband said this 7 years ago. I do believe he somehow misunderstood the sun's light reflecting off the moon and never questioned it. He understands space very well now. Yes, everything we see is because light is reflecting off it, but that's not what he meant at the time. I finally told him about this post when it ended up on college humor. He doesn't think it's as funny as I do 😬

I'm half Arab.

She asked me where this country "Arab" is located... I told her there is no such country so she asked me if I'm coming from the country "Muslim" (I'm not even Muslim).

Since my father is Muslim she asked me " Why your father hate us?", because she was thinking that Muslim and ISIS was the same thing.

An ex thought that Guatemala and guacamole are the same thing.

Europe is a country.

I told a girl that I'm circumcised she asked me "How do you have s*x then?"

When she asked if it was still called an eclipse when the sun passes between earth and the moon.

Prefacing by saying my husband is really a very, very intelligent guy. Who has his moments.

We woke up one day and had a flat tire. I sigh, but no big deal. Let's put in the spare, and take it to the shop.

He is adamant that his car does not have a spare. In fact, he would know if it had a spare, but it's a new car, and it doesn't.

I'm incredulous, and say I'm going to double check, just to make sure. He is standing by me with a smug face, ready for his "I told you so" moment.

Of course I lift the lid in the trunk, and what do we find, but a perfectly good spare tire?

Another time, I texted him that I was grounding the wires in our house, he called panicking because that sounded dangerous. I then got to explain what a ground wire does, and how electricity works, and that's perfectly safe to do it if you know what you are doing.

And then there was the time he tried to convince me that the sky is blue because it reflects the ocean. Somehow.

Edit: forgot the told in I told you so. Guess I'm a dummy too :)

Edit2: one more. He was helping me cook, and I poured a cup of sugar in a pan, and told him to start stirring when the sugar melted. He laughs and says that the recipe must be wrong, because sugar does not melt. Imagine the collective surprise when the sugar did, indeed, melt and became delicious lava caramel.

Edit3: so, apparently a lot of newer cars actually don't have spare tires, so I was risking looking really stupid too. And a lot of people were taught in school that the sky is blue because it reflects the ocean.

I asked him if he thinks maybe I'm the dumber one in the relationship and he said "you did lock yourself outside of the house in the rain last week", so he has a point.

"Women five months pregnant can totally go skiing!"

"We can totally leave a 2 week old newborn with your parents and go on a week long trip, just the two of us!"

We don't have children, but boy oh boy is he in for a rude awakening if I ever get pregnant.

Edit: I have to clarify, I HAVE NEVER WENT SKIING IN MY LIFE.

My partner and I were walking around a zoo kinda lost. She pulled out the little map/brochure they gave us when we came in and said, How come it doesn't say you are here on it?? Thats because its a piece of paper and we could be anywhere was my response haha.

My husband thought New York City was in California and I still can't track the logic there.

Cooked me a cup of noodles with no water.

I dated a guy for a few months in high school who was... incredibly attractive. We'll say his name was Dave. Dave played for the football team, and I was a super nerd, so the fact that he wanted to go out with me blinded me to his faults. One of my friends told me constantly what an idiot Dave was, and I refused to see it. One day, my friend and I were sitting in the cafeteria, and he started to laugh at something stupid Dave had done. I got mad, but we dropped the subject, because here came Dave. Instead of hanging out, my friend left. He came back several minutes later with a textbook, opened a random page, and pointed to a shape. "Dave, what shape is that?" Dave stuttered around the word triangle for a minute, then flew into a rage (like, got actually violent) because he thought my friend was trying to trick him or something.

Long story short, I wound up breaking things off with him a few days later partially because of how scary he got when he was angry, but mostly because of that f*****g circle.

When he changed the light bulb over our kitchen sink 4 times and kept throwing away the bulbs thinking they were all bad. I finally walked over and flipped the correct light switch for that light- the one next to the garbage disposal on the opposite wall from all the other switches.

We had been living in this house for over ten years at that point. He had used that light countless times. I love the guy but he definitely has his moments (I'm sure I do too).

Edit: I feel kind of bad that my top rated comment is about my husband being an idiot! At least he has a good sense of humor about himself.