Romantic relationships can be full of surprises, but not all of them are pleasant. Sometimes, it takes just a brief moment to learn the person you’re with is not the sharpest t**l in the shed. For some, it’s a harmless realization — like discovering their partner has no idea how plumbing works. For others, it’s a much more sobering wake-up call, exposing reckless behavior and selfish tendencies.
These stories come from a couple of online discussions where people were asked the same blunt and provocative question: When did they first realize they were dating an idiot? However, while the prompt was identical, the answers, as you are about to see, were nothing alike.
#21
Some great instances
This has happened twice
Her - why do you like teenage girl’s pictures on face book? Why do you even have them as your friends? You are a high school teacher. Are you a p***phile?
Me - the young twin girls? The ones with the same last name as me and who call the same guy ‘dad’ in those pics? Yeah they are my sisters.
On a wall post, one of my sisters asked ‘when you coming over for dad's birthday?’, got the same response again.
Another great time was
Her - why do you always talk to girls? You are always texting them and talking to them
Me - (when I was running a pt business) umm they are my clients, and that last one is 60 years old
Her - I just don't like it. You could be cheating on me
Me - oh I see, so when you go see your ex boyfriend for coffee 1–2 times a week, that's ok? (I didn't care)
When I was bouncing while studying at university
Her - I saw you flirting with that girl! She was all over you. You are such a cheating a**hole (makes a scene)
Me - the brunette? The one I was carrying out? Yeah she vomited on me.
I always attract the psycho insecure ones.
This has happened twice
Her - why do you like teenage girl’s pictures on face book? Why do you even have them as your friends? You are a high school teacher. Are you a p***phile?
Me - the young twin girls? The ones with the same last name as me and who call the same guy ‘dad’ in those pics? Yeah they are my sisters.
On a wall post, one of my sisters asked ‘when you coming over for dad's birthday?’, got the same response again.
Another great time was
Her - why do you always talk to girls? You are always texting them and talking to them
Me - (when I was running a pt business) umm they are my clients, and that last one is 60 years old
Her - I just don't like it. You could be cheating on me
Me - oh I see, so when you go see your ex boyfriend for coffee 1–2 times a week, that's ok? (I didn't care)
When I was bouncing while studying at university
Her - I saw you flirting with that girl! She was all over you. You are such a cheating a**hole (makes a scene)
Me - the brunette? The one I was carrying out? Yeah she vomited on me.
I always attract the psycho insecure ones.
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48points
#22
We went to the cinema to watch Traffic, which is partly set in Mexico. During one of the scenes , he leaned over and whispered ‘what language is that they are talking in? Is it Italian?’.
There wasn't a second date.
There wasn't a second date.
46points
#23
my bf thought slugs were just snails who didn't foud the right house jet. He thought snails got their houses like hermit crabs
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44points
#24
One day I was going to the grocery store, and she asked me to get some toilet paper.
“But don’t get those big rolls.”
“Why not? They last longer.”
“No, they really don’t. They’re just more expensive.”
“Yes, they really do. That’s why they advertise that one mega roll equals 2 or 3 or 4 regular rolls.”
“It’s not like there are more little squares on the roll.” ← And there it is.
“Yes, it’s exactly like that. That’s exactly what a giant or mega roll is.”
“Well…”
Of course, at this point we’d already been married 20 years, so…
“But don’t get those big rolls.”
“Why not? They last longer.”
“No, they really don’t. They’re just more expensive.”
“Yes, they really do. That’s why they advertise that one mega roll equals 2 or 3 or 4 regular rolls.”
“It’s not like there are more little squares on the roll.” ← And there it is.
“Yes, it’s exactly like that. That’s exactly what a giant or mega roll is.”
“Well…”
Of course, at this point we’d already been married 20 years, so…
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44points
#25
It was our first date. We were walking back to my place after dinner. He stopped, kissed me and said, “I think women are superior to men.” I said, “Oh? Why is that?” He said, “because they have the wound.” It took me a few seconds of mouth breathing and staring to realize that he meant “womb”. I veered in the opposite direction of my apartment, unconsciously wiping my mouth of any potential idiocy DNA. Wow.
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43points
#26
I actually had an ex that through dragons use to be real, and that were just extinct like the dinosaurs. She told me “there’s fossils and everything”
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42points
#27
Keep in mind my BF is studying engineering and I am studying law (maths is his strong point, English is mine, hence his question).
Him: Hayley, how do you spell Mosewell?
Me: …How do you spell what?
Him: Mosewell.
Me: I don’t know what that means.
Him: You know, I mosewell do this.
Me: You mean ‘May as well’?
Him: Yeah, mosewell.
Me: *Facepalm*
It took a long time for that conversation to end. He still says it. I laugh every time.
Him: Hayley, how do you spell Mosewell?
Me: …How do you spell what?
Him: Mosewell.
Me: I don’t know what that means.
Him: You know, I mosewell do this.
Me: You mean ‘May as well’?
Him: Yeah, mosewell.
Me: *Facepalm*
It took a long time for that conversation to end. He still says it. I laugh every time.
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42points
#28
When we had this conversation :
me : I’m writing a book.
him : Really? Sounds fun. What’s it about?
me : Well, romance. The usual boy met girl with some twist. Anyway, do you think I should have a pen name?
him : why would you name your pen?
me : …
me : I’m writing a book.
him : Really? Sounds fun. What’s it about?
me : Well, romance. The usual boy met girl with some twist. Anyway, do you think I should have a pen name?
him : why would you name your pen?
me : …
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41points
#29
When he told me what his mom told him:
“Don't date a girl from a wealthy family because by the time of breaking up, her family will be angry at you. But try to marry a girl from wealthy family and once you have her pregnant, she won't leave you anymore.”
And he insisted that I was rich even if I said hundreds of times my parents were of middle class but it did not mean my parents’ money were mine.
I mean my explanation does not really touch the roots of problem. Then I told him that at any time, and under any situation, a woman can break up a relationship if this is her choice. But he was not really listening to what I was saying and kept telling me his other ridiculous ideas, such as "a good girl should not have sex before marriage, should not get piercing, tattoos..." etc.
Then I broke up with him a couple days later. Today I still think he is sexist but he does not know what sexism means and insists he respects and knows how to take care of women.
“Don't date a girl from a wealthy family because by the time of breaking up, her family will be angry at you. But try to marry a girl from wealthy family and once you have her pregnant, she won't leave you anymore.”
And he insisted that I was rich even if I said hundreds of times my parents were of middle class but it did not mean my parents’ money were mine.
I mean my explanation does not really touch the roots of problem. Then I told him that at any time, and under any situation, a woman can break up a relationship if this is her choice. But he was not really listening to what I was saying and kept telling me his other ridiculous ideas, such as "a good girl should not have sex before marriage, should not get piercing, tattoos..." etc.
Then I broke up with him a couple days later. Today I still think he is sexist but he does not know what sexism means and insists he respects and knows how to take care of women.
40points
#30
Many years ago, I dated a woman who was incredibly sweet, fun, and gorgeous. The problem was, she was dumb as dirt. So I had many conversations with myself about how important intelligence was in the context of a relationship. Turns out, it matters. I think folks are happiest when they are close to the same range of intellect.
Anyway, the moment I found out I was really dating an idiot, was one day walking through the mall. We were following behind a Hispanic family made up of a mother, father and two young children. One child was a girl of maybe 3 or 4. She was holding hands with her mother. The little girl was engaged in a conversation with her mother, speaking pretty loudly and we could hear it pretty well. My girlfriend looked at me in total amazement and said “Wow, she already speaks Spanish!” I knew at that moment, this relationship had to end.
Anyway, the moment I found out I was really dating an idiot, was one day walking through the mall. We were following behind a Hispanic family made up of a mother, father and two young children. One child was a girl of maybe 3 or 4. She was holding hands with her mother. The little girl was engaged in a conversation with her mother, speaking pretty loudly and we could hear it pretty well. My girlfriend looked at me in total amazement and said “Wow, she already speaks Spanish!” I knew at that moment, this relationship had to end.
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40points
#31
When I was in high school, I was dating a girl two years younger than me. She asked me if frogs were female and toads were male. I chuckled. I was in the dog house for a month after that. Also asked me why I cracked eggs open. Doesn't that hurt the baby chickens?! Babe, these aren't fertilized eggs. You buy these from the store to eat. No babe, every single egg does not have a baby chick inside. How can you eat cows? They give milk and cheese?! Babe, we aren't eating dairy cows. How can you eat pigs?! They are smart. Babe, yes you are right. They are a fairly intelligent animal. But I saw you eat bacon 2 hours ago. Bacon comes from pigs?!?!?! Oh my god!!!!!
She was adorable but was wildly misinformed about the food she eats haha. I love that girl haha.
She was adorable but was wildly misinformed about the food she eats haha. I love that girl haha.
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35points
#32
I dated a total and complete idiot in 2011. The list is endless. But this one stands out: We were discussing supernovas, Betelgeuse going supernova, the sun….and then he says, “You know what terrifies me? The moon. It could explode at any time! It looks so innocent but I can see it causing problems…”
Okay, okay the novel Seveneves explores this. But he had not read it and it is very very unlikely the moon is just going to go bye bye one day in a blaze of glory.
Okay, okay the novel Seveneves explores this. But he had not read it and it is very very unlikely the moon is just going to go bye bye one day in a blaze of glory.
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35points
#33
I dated a girl who I was able to convince that, due to a weird chemical reaction, dead bodies can be reanimated with Worceshire sauce (a la an old South Park episode). She gave every indication of honestly being amazed by that.
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33points
#34
Had an ex who was 19 and was shocked unicorns weren’t real. Literally thought they were extinct
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33points
#35
I dated a girl in High School. I would literally help or do her homework because she was like, “I’m going to junior college anyways, so I’m not going to try.” She was failing all of her classes and acted and portrayed the typical “blonde” mentality.
We had a discussion that went like this.
Her: This class is so hard.
Me: Its not that hard if you put some work in it. You’re literally doing nothing.
Her: The only reason, I’m not doing well in the class is because I’m not cheating.
Me: *speechless*
We had a discussion that went like this.
Her: This class is so hard.
Me: Its not that hard if you put some work in it. You’re literally doing nothing.
Her: The only reason, I’m not doing well in the class is because I’m not cheating.
Me: *speechless*
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32points
#36
I was texting her one night and she was super upset with me that I wouldnt take the time out of my night to call her. I had a huge physics test I had to study for the next day. And then it happened: she texted me “what are you gay?”. Well, clearly not I’m dating you, with that and everything that led up to that message I finally realized that I had been the idiot all along and that this girl really didn't care about me at all. I broke up with her the next day after almost a year and I have no regrets. I still think about her from time to time, but I know that it was the best decision for both of us.
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32points
#37
my ex, who was in her early 20's, thought that cars were propelled by the exhaust, which would be some kind of turbine
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30points
#38
This is a story a friend of mine tells. Early in their marriage, they’re putting away groceries after a shopping trip. He notices his young bride opening jars, closing them, and then putting them in the refrigerator.
Him: “Honey, what are you doing?”
Her: “What do you mean? Haven’t you read the label?”
Him: “The label?”
Her: “It says, ‘refrigerate after opening.’”
They’ve been married 60 years.
Him: “Honey, what are you doing?”
Her: “What do you mean? Haven’t you read the label?”
Him: “The label?”
Her: “It says, ‘refrigerate after opening.’”
They’ve been married 60 years.
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30points
#39
Well not someone I was dating, but someone I matched on tinder with. I told him I liked thermodynamics and fluid mechanics and he responded with "I LIKE THOSE TOO!" followed by "LIKE HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT MAKES FIRE HOT AND ICE COLD? LIKE PEOPLE SHOULD REALLY BE LOOKING INTO THAT" i was not sure if he was being sarcastic, but I took it as such.
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26points
#40
I briefly dated a girl in HS who thought Texas was it's own country and not part of the US. she also thought Mexico was part of the US.
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26points
