According to expat friendship coach Sarah Siegert, memes can be a great way to stay in touch, as long as they're not the only way. “Sharing memes is fun, easy, and quick. It's sending the message of 'I saw this and it made me think of you' or 'I saw this and you would like it' which in and of itself is its own small communication,” she told us.
“At the same time, I think it is a relatively superficial and indirect way to communicate (using a medium - the meme). That means that the quality of the connection could be less deep, and the quality is poorer.”
Taking into account both sides of the coin, she says that using memes to stay connected with friends in a pinch can be better than nothing, but she also recommends planning in-person quality time meetups to maintain deep friendships. “Don't try to replace true human connection with memes,” she adds.
Siegert further tells us that sending memes is most appropriate when the connection has already been established and people are trying to maintain it. “Building a new connection solely through sending memes is also possible, but the connection will be less deep and the quality of the connection will be poorer,” she says.
“Sending memes as a way to stay connected is also most appropriate when you have a busy period of time and you want to show your friend, 'Hey, I'm thinking of you!' without investing a bunch of time talking or meeting up. It's a tool that's most appropriate to tie things over in between the high-quality ways to connect (meetups, phone calls, etc.).”
However, she warns that relying solely on memes for communication can make the connection superficial. “You can still use memes to express yourself, but they won't replace a vulnerable conversation with a friend. So the negative impact could be that you feel less connected to your friend and that the connection will be of poor quality because you both share less about what's really going on for you and so the connection fades away.
It's a light-touch form of communication. If you want a true, deep, and real friendship, you'll need to put in more work than solely sending memes. You need to speak to your friends, share information, ask questions, deeply connect. That's not possible solely through sending and receiving memes."
While sending memes is a quick way to connect and, at times, might even seem lazy, it’s comforting to know that it still counts as a genuine way to maintain relationships. This is especially helpful when our social batteries are empty or we are too tired to properly reach out, but we still want to express that we care about them.
Sometimes we just don’t have the psychological power to answer a text, even though we’re mindlessly scrolling online. Lifestyle coach Dr. Mary Kempnich explains that this is more common than we might think.
“Responding to a message of a friend you care about actually takes some time and requires you to put in some effort especially if they’ve asked you questions that are not very easily answered in a minute or two,” she said. Whereas, passively scrolling is a more relaxing and distracting activity, especially if the person had a draining day or even a week.
If you find yourself avoiding committing to answering a longer text, Dr. Kempnich advises leaving a little comment or a like. This way, the friend is aware of your presence and informed that you’re not ready to reply properly just yet.
