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45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
Social IssuesAPR 22, 2022

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were

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“This would never happen to me. I’d never be dumb enough to fall for this. I’d have figured out they were trying to trick me ages ago.” These are just some of the things that people might think when they’re hearing about someone being exploited by a cult. However, many folks don’t take into account just how manipulative and insidious cult leaders can be, eroding a person’s confidence and making them entirely reliant on others over long periods of time. Some people might be more vulnerable, but nobody’s completely immune to cultist psychological warfare.
And if you happen to be born in a cult or raised in one as a kid… getting out can be hell. But there are always signs that something’s off, that there’s brainwashing afoot. Reddit users who were raised in cults opened up about the first time that they realized that something was very wrong with the community.
Get ready for a deep dive into the dark side of humanity and scroll down for some very honest stories about growing up surrounded by cultists.
Bored Panda got in touch with Suzanne Degges-White to talk about how cult leaders target their victims and manipulate their followers, as well as how to get someone you care about out of a cult. She also detailed the character traits that cult leaders tend to have. Suzanne is a Licensed Counselor, Professor, and Chair at the Department of Counseling and Higher Education at Northern Illinois University.
"The worst thing about cult indoctrination is that people actually LOVE the feeling they get in being a part of something bigger than themselves. Folks who have the wisdom to recognize that they are being led into a cult are not the ones who are going to be totally indoctrinated and stuck inside it," she explained to us.
"They recognize that the leader is likely a charlatan and they have enough of a support system beyond the cult that they don't get totally sucked into it in the first place. The people who actually NEED to get out of it are going to have to have a support system or something better outside the cult if they are going to leave." Read on for our full interview with Suzanne.

#1

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
When I met with my mother about difficulty coping with my arranged marriage. I explained to her the abusive aspects of the relationship and how much it was breaking me down, and her response was that it was my job to be quiet and if God wanted to change my husband, he would.
I suddenly realized, sitting across from her and looking her in the eyes, that she had let my father take my childhood innocence and had zero qualms about my mistreatment now at the hands of my husband.
I knew when I hugged her goodbye and cried all the way home that I would never see her again. It’s been four years since I ran away.
458points

Suzanne, from Northern Illinois University, explained to Bored Panda what makes cult leaders so dangerous. "Cult leaders are master manipulators who are also excellent readers of others—and they truly sense who is a more likely 'follower' aka 'victim' and tend to invest their energy wisely. They don't waste too much time on people they don't think will easily join their ranks," she told Bored Panda that these individuals go for the most vulnerable.

"Cult leaders are narcissistic individuals who use their self-interest and charisma to prey on their followers. This, of course, requires that their followers, or marks, have certain traits that make them more likely to be preyed upon. Research suggests that some of the traits that make people vulnerable to joining a cult include suffering from anxiety or depression or addictions."

Disorders like anxiety or depression can make a person more vulnerable to a cultist who offers them solutions to their problems. "People with addictions need to have something to fill the hole left when they stop using whatever substance/behavior that they are addicted to. Addiction reflects a hunger and cult leaders have an easy time using their powers of persuasion to convince the follower that they and their cult can fill that need," Suzanne stressed that addicts are also potential prey for cult leaders.

#2

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
Former Jehovah's witness too. The first time I realized something was wrong was when a huge core belief changed in 1995. ( The end will come before the generation that saw the events of 1914 died...changed to.. well it's changed 7 times since then) I was confused and it didn't compute that my entire life's beliefs changed over night. I struggled on awhile until shortly after my then husband beat the s**t out of me and for some reason HE called the elders over to help and the elders told me " Be a better wife so he doesn't get angry" I was done then. DONE.
395points

#3

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
After watching The Day After in the 80s, I asked my mom if we knew the nukes were coming, who would she rather spend her last moments with me or the cult leader, she choose him. I came up with my own survival plan after that. I was going to skateboard to safety.
379points

"Cult leaders often use the powers of seduction to convince people to follow them—they use flattery of a potential member along with promises of 'belonging' and being 'needed,' so that can be extremely enticing to someone who feels that something important is missing in their life. When someone convinces us that they care more about us than anyone else in our world, we will do whatever they want us to do just to keep their light shining on us," she drew attention to how cults exploit human psychology for their own benefit.

According to the psychology expert, people are brought into cults believing that the leader has all the answers they're seeking. "You are treated like family and you have other cult members who make you feel welcome and work hard to develop that sense of belonging. When nothing else in your life is giving you what you need or satisfying you in important ways, a cult is the perfect setting to feel valued and that you matter," she said that this entraps a person, convincing them to stay. However, that's not to say that it's impossible to get someone out.

#4

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
This happened to my classmate in the fifth grade. Her family were Jehovah Witnessers. She needed a blood transfusion but the family refused and she died. I don't remember the specifics of her condition but WTF. The whole class cried for weeks. Try wrapping your little 11 year old brain around that.
362points

#5

Jehovahs witnesses. When my sister got pregnant out of wedlock, went to the elders (group of old men residing over congregation) to confess and repent. They decided to disfellowship her, meaning all other Jehovahs witnesses had to shun her, even immediate family. When asked why this was the decision, they reinforced to us how they basically communicated with god by spirit and this is what god intended. I knew it was bs. Left very soon after and never had anything else to do with them. All of my immediate family eventually did, one by one and last year I celebrated Christmas with all of them together for the first time since 1999.
337points

#6

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
I got punished for my own sexual assault. I was victim blamed. The abuser was twice my age (I was mid-teens). I was forced to repent. For what, I am not sure as they wouldn’t answer that question.
As I got older and looked back, I realized that everything they’d told me was a lie. If you do everything you’re supposed to, you’re supposed to be blessed. If you break the rules, you have challenges/obstacles/lessons and must repent.
But if Jesus dies for my sins why do I have to repent? And what am I repenting for? I didn’t consent I any of that. Nor could I from a legal standpoint.
The only obvious answer was that it was all bulls**t. Then years later, a widely publicized case with similar circumstances became international news. And the victim’s clergy person stood up on CNN and said she was forgiven. Forgiven. For being raped.
I had noped out years before but when I saw that particular press conference I had to get therapy to deal with all that rage. Guh
326points

"To get someone you care about out of the cult, you have to work hard and be available to help them see reason. You have to encourage them to stay involved in activities beyond the cult, to engage in connections with people who are 'outsiders,'" Suzanne explained.

"For some people, the sense of belonging within a cult is worth more than autonomy, wealth, or connections to family or those beyond the cult. That's when interventions by caring others are needed to help that person recognize the truth of their situation."

#7

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
When we were told that we couldn't go to college. I was about 15 when I realized that we weren't allowed to. The elders said it was because of the end time coming and wasting time, and worry about fellowship in the world. It is because they want to keep us stupid. That was the year I left. That was compounded because the same year my cousin tried to kill herself, and they told us not to visit. I hadn't been baptized yet (you wait until you are old enough to study and consent) so I told the elders that if we weren't allowed to talk to her in her greatest time of need, they could shove it.
296points

#8

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
When the 'Elders' told me that I could no longer speak to my younger sister anymore because she was in 'bad standing' with the organization. She's the only family I have left. They made her out to be this monster just because she wasn't actively going to church. That's when the glass shattered for me
I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses and my sister and I are still close. She's doing great things for herself and I do not regret my decision at all. Dont let someone else make decisions for your life, you'll be much happier!
292points

#9

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
When my parents told me they'd let me die rather than allow me to get certain medical procedures.
285points

According to the BBC, there are as many as 2k suspected cults operating in the United Kingdom at this point in time. Some of them target students to swell their ranks. “Just absolute mind control,” is how Jess, a former student, described her time at the Shincheonji Church of Jesus.

She was recruited on the campus of the University of Salford and said she couldn’t recognize herself anymore while she was with the cult.

Meanwhile, CBS states that there are up to 10k cults in the United States. International cult expert Steve Eichel stressed that most cults are small and deliberately try to stay under the radar.

#10

When I was the one who got shunned for defending a child from a pedophile.
Report
268points

#11

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
When my mom said that I was so bad at housekeeping that if I got abused by my future husband, "he would be within his rights as head of the household".
Fundie cults are the worst
268points

#12

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
It's hard to pick a first time but I knew I needed to run when I was taken shopping for a wedding dress at 12 years old.
260points

"Unless they commit a crime, unless they do something that draws attention to them—negative attention and criticism to them—we generally don't know about them,” the expert suggested that these groups could be living right under our very noses without anyone realizing that something’s very wrong.

Eichel listed some of the things that make a cult, well, a cult. From deception to being overly secretive, here are the ways to recognize one of these groups.

"Beware of any kind of pressure. That's probably the single most important advice I can give anyone. Any kind of pressure to make a quick decision about becoming involved in any intensive kind of activity or organization,” the cult expert stressed that being rushed to make decisions can be an indication that you’ve been approached by cultists.

#13

When I was pulled out of Sunday school and scolded for asking legit questions about our so called prophet. I was 8 years old and couldn’t wrap my head around how some guy could translate a lost language using a hat and a stone. I used to be a Mormon lmao.
259points

#14

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
Scientology. When they took our second house.
Report
251points

#15

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
Every women needed to bear a child with the cult leader. We were given drugged sweets, such as cookies, for food.
235points

“Be wary of any leader who proclaims him or herself as having special powers or special insight. And, of course, divinity,” he said. “The group is closed, so in other words, although there may be outside followers, there's usually an inner circle that follows the leader without question, and that maintains a tremendous amount of secrecy."

According to Eichel, cults use deceptive means to recruit new members. Then, they use an “organized program of through reform” (aka brainwashing) to change how these fresh recruits think and operate.

#16

When my youth group leader said that telling poor people about Jesus was more important than feeding them or housing them.
228points

#17

When they kept telling me that only men could be leaders, and women were supposed to be silent, demure, secondary, and subservient. I looked around and saw so many dumb asses I wouldn't trust to lead me out of a burning building without copping a feel and claiming it was something I did that caused them to stumble, such as wear a tank top or pants.
224points

#18

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
When the leader kept my mom up for 2 days straight. He was making her cook, clean, be on him hand and foot all while berating her. yelled at her she was an evil woman going to hell, he was too godly for her, etc. 3 am and I hear him screaming at her, all biblical bs, and she’s crying. she broke down and he drove my mom, my sister and I to the ER and said she had to check herself into mental health because she’s psychotic. We are there for 3 hours. They turn her away and she comes out with abuse pamphlets.
224points

"Typically, cults also exploit their members… mostly financially. Within the group, they'll exploit members financially, psychologically, emotionally and, all too often, sexually,” the expert warned.

"A very important aspect of cult is the idea that if you leave the cult, horrible things will happen to you. This is important, and it's important to realize. That people outside of a cult are potential members, so they're not looked upon as negatively as people inside the cult who then leave the cult."

#19

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
When my brother started asking (politely) how our religion was founded and how our family got involved and generally just questions about life: they don't believe in evolution or kissing before marriage.
And they would bite his head off about it at age 11. It made me realise they were being defensive because they had no answers. If you can't explain why you're in a religion, you get the f**k out.
222points

#20

45 People Who Escaped From Cults Are Sharing What Their Breaking Points Were
When I realized that the doors to the 13 story former hotel building we were all living in was locked and you had to sign out to leave.
No one (from children to adults) could leave without an explanation to where they were going and when they'd be back.
217points
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