“I Still Refuse To Eat Anything She Makes”: 30 People Share The Wildest Cooking Practices

My sister moved from the city to a small Texas town. Someone in their circle had a new baby girl and named her Brie. My sister jokingly said, "If you have another one, you can name it Gouda." Everyone looked at her with blank stares because they had no idea what Gouda was. It was perhaps a joke in bad taste, but she and i have laughed over that many times through the years, so in the end it was a worthwhile joke.

My mother has entire cookbooks dedicated to cooking in the microwave. She thinks there are two ways to cook vegetables:

1. Place frozen vegetables into Corningware. Add water and margarine. Microwave until they are mush.

2. Dump canned vegetables and liquid from can into pot. Add margarine. Hear until slightly warm.

I realized I could like vegetables the first time I tasted fresh green beans that had been lightly sauteed with olive oil, garlic, and salt.

My mom wouldn't eat hummus until I started calling it "bean dip".

My step dads mom took a stick of butter, used it like a crayon to butter the raw turkey, then put the rest of the stick on the table for rolls. That was over 20 years ago and I still refuse to eat anything she makes.

Luckily, I live several states away. I plan all trips to visit my mother NOT on holidays so I can avoid her... And all the holiday travelers.

My in-laws visited for a month and I had to learn the hard way that, despite having travelled the world over, they are not adventurous eaters nor particularly well acquainted with good cooking. We wanted to grill one evening and my mother-in-law insisted that the pork loin medallions needed to be BOILED for AN HOUR before cooking on the grill. I watched her turn the meat into small gray pucks, slather them in bottled sauce, then grill for 5 minutes a side. When they cut them, the interior was fluffy and dry, resembling sawdust more than meat. Very glad we also cooked sausage or I would have been sad AND hungry.

I have a dairy allergy. I visited home for the holidays. My dad tried to argue with me that THERE IS NO DAIRY IN RANCH DRESSING.

“What about the buttermilk, Dad?”

“It’s *not* milk-it’s *buttermilk*! Ha!”

“And what is the base ingredient for that curdled milk Dad?”

“It’s not the same thing. You’re just being picky!”

Mine really isn't that bad but my sister acts like I'm CrAZy when I leave the skin on my salmon to cook...I know it's less common in the US but I still can't help to feel very annoyed. Crispy skin is the best part!

It is always stressful eating at my in laws. MIL cooks one potato per person. They're the size of golf balls.

Thanksgiving. She takes away the sour cream immediately so it doesn't spoil. It's been out for 5 minutes. She'll hover and take your plate the second you clear it. Don't even think about 2nds. Remember, 1 potato per person.

Husband, FIL, and I come in for lunch after hours of making firewood. Felling trees, hauling them out. Block, split, and pile. MIL has made one half of a premade garlic loaf for all 4 of us. That one made me cry.

2 weeks ago. Husband and I realize we haven't had French Toast in a couple years. You can't screw up French Toast, so we went to my in laws for breakfast. Her "recipe" is 1 egg and 3 cups of milk, which she mixed up before even putting the bacon on. She served her husband a lump of wet bread. I said my bacon was enough. My husband sort of salvaged the mixture by adding more eggs. Puts mixture in fridge. But FIL wants another piece. MIL scolds him to put the mix back in the fridge not 2 seconds after his bread hit the pan so it doesn't go bad. Yet, it's already been out 20 minutes because she mixed it up before even putting the bacon on.

Non food related, we stopped out this weekend. She said sorry for not combing her hair - she's washing sheets today, which means she washes her hair today, and her comb, so she can't comb her hair until after.

God forbid you take anything out of the oven before the timer goes off. Even if that means burnt Grands biscuits. Which are gross even when not burnt.

Watching her wash dishes is painful. Wash a plate, rinse it, dry it with a towel, then lay it on the table. For *every* *fricken* *dish*. Not wash all the plates, then rinse every plate, then dry every plate. And she complains her feet get sore from all the walking.

Christmas a few years ago. I made a beautiful beef roast and also a duck. I freaked out when she tried to dump a can of cream of mushroom on my duck *for gravy". She still brings it up "my mother was a good cook and I've been cooking for 45 years"

Easter is this weekend. She asked us to coordinate going out because she doesn't want to cook this year. Now, I would love to host, and do all the cooking because a) I love to host and b) I wouldn't leave hungry. But we're in the middle of some projects so we can't. And I refuse to cook at her house because I like things like mixing bowls, proper utensils, more than 2 inches of counter space because she's got s**t piled everywhere, and accurate ovens. Anyways. I spent a couple hours coming up with a few options to present to my husband's brother and sister. Then I find out MIL has asked all 3 of her kids to do the coordinating. So we all had different ideas instead of one person running the show, so to speak. All of us are irritated.

Gah.

My mom once had a meltdown in her kitchen when she saw me cooking an egg in a pan on the stove. She likes to cook her eggs in the microwave until they're rubbery and tinged with gray, and she insists that this is the only way to do it.

I moved to the Santa Fe, New Mexico area after college and fell in love with the food. I took my parents to a decent New Mexican restaurant when they visited...and my father got a hamburger in a tortilla. You know that feeling when you've discovered something you think is life-changing, you want to share it, and no one cares? That was me on that day.

All non-American dishes (anything besides burgers, sandwiches, meat and potatoes, etc) are "ethnic food" no matter the cuisine. They also typically assume any "ethnic food" will be spicy.

Fresh vegetables are too crunchy, so canned is preferable.

One exception to this is popcorn, which is a totally normal dinner side and something that my dad proudly claims is his "favorite vegetable."

"Salad" can mean almost anything. Example: apple banana salad = apples, bananas, mayonnaise

Pureed anything (especially soups) = baby food, and they usually won't touch it.

(My family consists of a bunch of white Midwestern people, can you tell? Lol)

My mother's and grandmother's reaction when I mention kimchi was saying "isn't that buried in the ground for months" and general mild disgust. They both eat sauerkraut, so fermented cabbage shouldn't be something overly exotic.

"That smells great! What is it?"

Butter and garlic

Oh I have so many i don't know where to start. I was born and raised in eastern Europe in the 90's so my parents weren't really exposed to different cuisines or spices and this has cause some drama and confusion whenever my parents visit and I make them try something new.

My mom threw out my camembert cheese and then scolded me for a good 10 minutes about keeping "stinky, moldy, bad food " in the fridge.

My dad refuses to eat any vegetables that still have any crunch or sushi (even though he tried sushi and liked it... Eating raw fish is wrong??)

Black pepper is too spicy.

According to my dad avocados taste like "creamy dirt"

On the plus side they were mind blown by poached eggs and adequately cooked meat.

My mother in law makes substitutions that make even good recipes inedible. Adding wheat flour and almond extract to sugar cookies. Making my roasted chicken with lemon herb compound in butter, she used skinless chicken breasts, margarine, dry herbs and the plastic lemon 🍋 lemon juice. Then says “mine didn’t taste like yours” yea, no s**t Janet.

I was cooking once and had some powdered turmeric on the counter. My young son asked me why I was putting 'cheese' in the dish. That was the moment I realized I'd served him Kraft mac 'n' cheese one too many times...

Ordered takeout last night with my in-laws. There was a salmon ciabatta sandwich with a dill mayo on it and my father-in-law asked me what dill mayo was and wondered if it was some kind of pickle flavored mayo. I said no, it’s just mayo seasoned presumably with some fresh dill weed. This man is 70 years old and had no idea dill weed is a herb/spice! I pulled some dry dill weed out of my spice cabinet to show him because he had never heard of it before.

On one visit, my Mom threw out 2 six-packs of Hefeweizen because the bottles were cloudy and had sediment.

Went to visit my uncle a few years back and made some slow cooker beans (with pork) which everyone loved and asked me to make again. Later, on the drive to the store with my aunt, I mentioned wanting to get some smoked pork hocks and she immediately started telling me all the reasons why pork isn’t good for your health (I honestly didn’t know she didn’t eat pork sauce the rest of my family does).

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she’d just scarfed down two bowls of porky beans the night before. Now, I make sure to tell her repeatedly when something I cooked contains pork.

My dad refused to eat raw veggies and dip until I renamed it “crudités”.